steveT95 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Maybe this is for self-improvement area, not sure because it overlaps. I came off sleeping tablets about three days ago. I was on the to ensure I was getting enough sleep before my driving test. I had been on them for about a week. Once I passed the test I came off of them straight away. The first night was hell. I didn't sleep until 3 in the morning. I was up crying for a couple of hours. Second night up until 2ish maybe later. Thirds night...I'm still up. I've relapsed massively these past few days and it has been accelerated by the lack of sleep. Not only that but I bumped into her twice in two days. Two days of little sleep and plenty of college work. The first time I saw her caught me off guard and it was like a punch in the stomach. It was a struggle not to just break down. The second time I was more prepared because I saw her drive into the car park and knew she would be walking my way. Both times, she saw but completely ignored me, which was expected. The first time made me just want to text her. But I didn't. The second time made me miss hugging her. But, of course, I didn't I also saw her on facebook because some page posted a screenshot of a conversation and she was in their messages list. Hit me hard as well, was a reminder that she is getting on with her life. Although, it is a boring life that would only drag me down. She is poison. I don't want anything to do with her because I refuse to be second best to anyone in her life now. But, I miss talking to her, a lot. I miss that chat about anything where we just clicked straight away. I am incredibly lonely. My main point of post I can't sleep. I am up on the laptop or watching telly or whatever. I get tired but I know if I lay there I will start thinking about things and I will get sad and worked up. To the point where I almost fear going to bed because I don't want to start getting upset. I need my sleep. My grades are slipping because of it. Can anyone offer some good advice or anything please? My days are full of brilliant highs and incredible lows.
lop98 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I never had problems with sleep but post BU I couldn't sleep either, I'd go to bed at 12 and wake up at 3 with absolutely no need for sleep, I'd just fool around in my phone until the sun was up. What worked for me was going to the gym at night and doing one hour of cardio. Also leaving phone and computer in the living room, nowhere near my reach from bed. Lately I've also been watching funny videos on youtube before sleeping, this seriously works wonders. I was never into comedy or that stuff from youtube but it definitely puts you in a certain mood before sleep... 1
Author steveT95 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Posted May 2, 2013 I like the sound of that. How long before sleep did you workout? I'm trying to get into meditation as well. I tend to procrastinate using my laptop, staring at it blankly as an excuse not to sleep. I find getting to sleep hard, but once I am asleep I am fine.
lop98 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I hit the gym at around 8:30, leave at around 9:50 (before it closes), come home, have a shower with loud happy music, eat something light, text with friends or play silly stuff on yotube and sleep at around 11:30/12. If I don't eat, it's 11. I can't really allow myself too much time to truly procrastinate because I either stalk or open files related to him and that unleashes all the thoughts and all the thoughts lead to tears.. and tears lead to dreams and the whole thing leads to at least 2 days of feeling the BU like it just happened.
Phoe Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I can't offer advice, but I can relate to you. I've had sleep problems all my life. Even when I was a little kid, my earliest memories, I took HOURS to fall asleep every night. I thought it was normal. Then when I entered my teen years and started having sleepovers with friends I realized it wasn't normal. When my best friend would fall asleep and be snoring within 10 minutes it just blew my mind... Through college and the past few years after it I've seen many doctors, and tried many pills, remedies, etc... nothing has worked. Of course, emotional stress makes the insomnia that much worse, because instead of laying in bed unable to sleep, I'm laying in bed unable to sleep AND thinking about everything that's bothering me, then comes the tears. It's this horrible nightly cycle that I've never been able to break. The only thing that has EVER even remotely helped, is waking up earlier than I would like, making sure I take my vitamins, eating well, drinking lots of water, and keeping active throughout the day. If I have a day where I just sleep in, be kinda lazy, maybe don't eat how I should... I feel that much worse later in the night. Maybe try to create a routine for yourself. Make sure you sleep in a dark, cool environment, give yourself ample time before going to bed where you shut off the computer/TV, and just RELAX and wind down as you prepare for bed. Wash your face, brush your teeth, anything really, just find some mechanical thing that you do and kinda try to make that your mental signal that HEY It's time for bed! Train your brain that it's time to stop thinking and focus on sleeping. It's tough I know, hectic lives aren't always conducive to such routines. =/
Author steveT95 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Posted May 2, 2013 I know what you mean. Thankfully, I have removed any possible way for me to see stuff that includes her. Anything that I see now purely by accident and out of my control. Would exercise now but it is too late. Guess I should get back into working out. Damn, I miss the tablets..
Author steveT95 Posted May 2, 2013 Author Posted May 2, 2013 I can't offer advice, but I can relate to you. I've had sleep problems all my life. Even when I was a little kid, my earliest memories, I took HOURS to fall asleep every night. I thought it was normal. Then when I entered my teen years and started having sleepovers with friends I realized it wasn't normal. When my best friend would fall asleep and be snoring within 10 minutes it just blew my mind... You just described myself perfectly. I thought it was normal until you said, but I guess it really is insomnia. When I was a kid I would be playing with toys for hours before I was asleep. And I used to get annoyed with everyone at sleepovers for sleeping before me! The only thing that has EVER even remotely helped, is waking up earlier than I would like, making sure I take my vitamins, eating well, drinking lots of water, and keeping active throughout the day. If I have a day where I just sleep in, be kinda lazy, maybe don't eat how I should... I feel that much worse later in the night. Maybe try to create a routine for yourself. Make sure you sleep in a dark, cool environment, give yourself ample time before going to bed where you shut off the computer/TV, and just RELAX and wind down as you prepare for bed. Wash your face, brush your teeth, anything really, just find some mechanical thing that you do and kinda try to make that your mental signal that HEY It's time for bed! Train your brain that it's time to stop thinking and focus on sleeping. It's tough I know, hectic lives aren't always conducive to such routines. =/ Definitely need to start eating a bit better, hopefully that will help. This evening I have decided to try and make my bed a sleep only place. (recently single it has to be!) By that I mean no reading or writing my diary in bed. So when I go to bed I am telling myself to switch off. 1
BrokenHeartedSavior Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 1. Congrats on passing your test 2. Work out- it'll knock you out at the end of the day 3. GET OFF OF FACEBOOK!!! COMPLETELY.
Author steveT95 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 1. Thank you! 2. Will do 3. No. I have done everything in my power to avoid any site of her and the guy best friend. I have blocked them all and any possibility of seeing them. Funny story, accidentally sent him a friend request whilst trying to figure out how to block him... bit awkward haha Think I might go back to sleeping tablets next week so I can enjoy my birthday.
ViciousCycle Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I highly recommend Yoga. I know guys stay away from it, but it's not like we expect it to be. It's given be a strenous exercise that helps tire me out while also giving me some level of peace.
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Go to a bookshop and investigate Calming/soothing/relaxing CDs.... Investigate also self-hypnosis and 'motivational' recordings... Also, classical music (Not the 1812 overture!) which soothes and calms... Dvorak, some Rachmaninov, that kind of thing.... Meditation/visualisation cds.... What you watch/listen to before sleeping, or while trying to get to sleep is in fact extremely influential. Positivity as your head hits the pillow, is of paramount importance. There's also an awful lot to be said for a warm milky drink.....
Sav Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I would advise you to stay off the pills. I understand how you felt. When I broke up I was a total mess, not being able to eat and sleep AT ALL. I was tempted to try pills but I'm glad I didn't and got through it. I have no tips on how to sleep but I do know if you can't sleep, it's pretty useless lying awake and feeling miserable till the light shines through the windows. For me, when I find myself lying awake, I read, play computer games, catch up on some TV series I missed when I had a relationship. 1) At least something is done 2) You will feel much much better than just lying there 3) By doing activities, you'll eventually feel tired So I guess my advise to you will be to just do anything you want to do (except curl up and cry). Do not care about the time at all for now. It is not healthy in the long run but right now it's alright. So just do anything no matter how late it is. If you want to do it, do it. Slowly you will realize you can sleep and eat just fine. P.S I really recommend staying off pills or you'll end up being reliant and that's another whole ball game Goodluck mate 1
Empty Heart Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 I have been taking Nytol but they're not good for you long term and seriously make you feel so wiped out the next day. I am now taking Melatonin....completely natural....and within an hour of taking them I'm ready for my bed. Coupled with NO COMPUTER and a nice warm glass of milk. I know, it's not Rock 'n' Roll but it may help for now. Find them in the vitamin aisle.... One thing I seriously thank my lucky stars for is that I never joined Facebook, nor will I EVER join Facebook. Seriously, I think it can be so dangerous, I would not want to see what my ex is up to....ever. It can only lead to hurt. Sleep well tonight....
Author steveT95 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Thanks guys, I'm getting some great advice. It is going to be very helpful. Firstly, facebook. It really has its benefits, for me at least. My newsfeed is filled with funy pictures and the like that have really lifted my mood at times. Beforehand I had just missed out a few things that needed blocking. Nothing more should bother me now, hopefully. Last night I tried a relaxation CD which for awhile I found really calming. But some thoughts began to snowball and I had to shake myself out of it so went on the computer. I fell asleep on the sofa for about an hour then went to bed. Really need to get motivated to do some exercise. I think once I get back into that, it will do me the world of good. Sav's suggestions seem to be the closest to what I do at the minute and I don't think it is a bad idea depending on what is going on in my life at the time. I try to keep myself busy on the computer to stop thoughts snowballing. Reading on watching tv doesn't require enough attention to keep my mind from thinking about things. I couldn't even watch my favourite film because of it.
HumptyDumpty Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Ouch. I feel ya! I had this problem for several weeks! 2-3 sleep per night, no more, I felt tired. Funny thing is that you feel tired and you want to sleep but you can't... Well, I got some "drugs" (that's what I consider them) and they didn't help a lot! Either i still wasn't asleep even though I took them or I wandered on the floor like a dog in the night... very weird, that's why I call them drugs hahahaha My advice is from what I had is: stay away from computers! TV as well... since I find they drain my energy in a way but don't make me tired! Maybe exercise even though it makes me move around even more, I'm unable to stay still so sleeping will be hard as well unless I did some very very hard exercise on a hot summer day... Learning can be hard, especially when it's what you have to do! So what I did is buy an instrument I was longing for (the violin) and started to learn it by myself! You still learn but differently plus it soothes my mind (well, don't count the first week of screeching sounds) but there's not one solution that fits everyone! In my case, I overslept, like starting to sleep finally at 5 and waking up at 8 having overslept! Then I slept more and more into the day and then I fixed my sleeping pattern bit by bit... but this problem affected hugely my studies sadly, nothing I could do about it.... :/ 1
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