lilmiscassie92 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 So I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months, he's 25, I'm 20. His bday (this past weekend), he told me his friends family and I were all going out to eat. So that day I went to the mall to get a gift, he calls me saying his friends weren't answering so I offered to go out with him. He said ok and i said i would call him back when i got home from the mall. So when i get home he says he still doesn't have plans, by the time i called him the third time to tell him to meet at my place, he says he's going out the bar with his friends but they wouldn't be gone long. I don't hear back from him the rest of the night but he calls me at 3:30AM drunk (i was asleep). Today, he calls me while i'm shopping with my grandma and i ask him if he would be able to meet me at my apartment in an hour to help me unload the stuff i bought from my hatch. he says he'd be there. So I text him at 7:15 telling him i would be home a little after 8. then he texts at 8 and says he was just leaving the park with his dog. he never showed up tonight. It's stuff like this that has been going on. he says he will call or let's hangout but then flakes. Another thing is that he used to be like oh i love you, and let's move in together in the fall or whatever. (compete bs) and it's like come on don't say that stuff if you don't mean it. Especially now I have my own apartment, he still lives at home 8 minutes away and he always makes up an excuse to spend the nights with me. now he says "i'm not looking to get married or anything until i'm 32. So i call him tonight and said it's not working out, we've been arguing, he doesn't respect me and isn't punctual (i've been saying this to him for awhile now but he won't accept it). Even in person, he just ignores what i say and is like , "so let's go get ice cream." so he's like "i don't want to argue i have to go" like he always does. I finally lied and said I was interested in seeing someone else (there is no one else), and then he flipped out on me accusing me of cheating and stopped returning my calls/texts tonight. I feel extremely hurt and disappointed that he didn't seem to respect me also.
crederer Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 How long have you been together? Sometimes that sort of stuff happens in relationships. But I can understand you being upset and not feeling valued. There have been a couple times when I went out with my buddies and totally planned on meeting with my girl then got drunk, time flew by and you hear "last call" and think "oh, **** it's way later than I thought".
bob the brave Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I think you subconsciously wanted him to value you more and treat you better, so you told him you were seeing someone else not to break up but to make him jealous in hopes that would spur him into being more attentive. In relationship problems, we often make knee-jerk reactions because emotions are involved which are sometimes counter productive. Especially when we mess with egos which are usually fragile. It is sometimes natural, but manipulating others for our own desires rarely works. It might not have been good telling him you had someone else when you didn't, but sounds like it worked out for the best. But don't beat yourself up over it. We all make mistakes, yours was understandable and wouldn't have even happened if he had been more considerate. No worries. This guy sounds like a self-centered jerk. So now you are free to find the good, caring guy you deserve.
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