Bathina Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 For the most part, I am a shy person and I hardly talk with people I don't already know. Sometimes I will try to make conversation, but that is only when I am really in the mood to talk and be social. Here is my problem: I can't seem to open up to a particular guy I like. Granted, I've only known him for a short amount of time, but it frustrates me nonetheless. I can hold conversations with the rest of my friends.. I ask questions and we can talk about what seems like anything and everything. It's just, with him, I can't say a word. Is this saying something about the chemistry between us? How do I overcome this problem? Is there a way I can use it to my advantage? I'm afraid that if I don't start talking soon, he will just give up on me. I feel like this is something I don't want to let slip away. He is making it obvious that he likes me. He doesn't play games; he made it clear from the beginning that he was interested in me.. not so much in words, at first, but in his actions. He seems to be genuinely interested in who I am and what I'm about; it's isn't "how you doin'?, whats your sign?" etc. It must take a lot for him to put himself out there, just so I'm aware that he likes me. He, too, is a quiet person, but I can definitely tell he is really making the effort. I once asked him why he calls me every day since he's had my number, asking to see me/lunch with me when he knows just as well as I do that we hardly speak. He said he enjoys my company and that he feels something good about me. I think the reason I'm like this is because I like him very much and I'm afraid that by letting him in, he would not like me as much. I'm also afraid that I will tell him too much, too soon and it will scare him away. I told him that I don't open myself up to people that easily; it's my nature and I am also afraid of being vulnerable. I reassured him that I do indeed feel something for him, but that it would take a while for me to be comfortable around him. He said he felt comfortable around me and that he wanted me to feel the same with him. I feel bad that I can't reciprocate as of yet. I am aware that things are better off not rushed, but it just frustrates me so much. However, the only time I am not self-conscious or bashful is when we are being cute together (kissing, snuggling, tickling, caressing, complimenting). That is the only time I can really look into his eyes and not blush or feel awkward. I'm not afraid to talk then and I'm not afraid to be affectionate. I don't know. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, does that mean it isn't so strange that I enjoy the physical intimacy that we share? We are human and humans for the most part are designed to want companionship, etc. Is that why all of this physical stuff comes so naturally/feels so natural? I'm very confused. Also, and I don't mean to offend anyone by saying this, I have in the back of my mind that this is just another one of the things a guy will do/say to take advantage of a girl like me. I claim total ignorance when it comes to the opposite sex; I have next to no experience in dealing with guys. I usually don't realize what's going on until it is too late to do anything about it. What do I do? How do you interpret this? Any advice/suggestion/opinion is welcomed. Thank you for taking the time to read and think about this.
UCFKevin Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Just let things happen. Try not to be so scared to open up. Be yourself.
Papillon Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 It's ALWAYS like that in a new relationship. Don't sweat it. You'll grow to be more comfortable with him and everything will be fine. You'll see. In any case, if he really really likes you, he will look past your silence.
PR Posted September 26, 2004 Posted September 26, 2004 Just be comfortable with the idea that sex is on his mind (and it has been on your's, too). The guys who try to get it from you as fast as possible are not right for the type of person you are (i.e., shy and reserved). As a matter of fact, I prefer women who have a nice balance between being shy and being outgoing. Also, be attuned to what you--not him--want from this relationship. Are you using it more to date, or are you looking more to have something long-term. Maybe it is both. You should allow yourself to entertain both possibilities as the relationship ebbs and flows. Doubt is seriously a normal part of all of our relationships. You sound like a good person and someone I would like to get to know.
Brooklyn8503 Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 i would say to just be yourself and let things unfold. listen to your inner thoughts and if you think that he's really into you-he won't pressure you. i found myself in a situation similar to yours with my first boyfriend. i really liked him and visa versa. he came over one night and we played video games, watched a movie and then retreated to my bedroom to sit on my bed and talk for 3 hours. we were both listening to each other and just relating on every level and we talked about everything-homelife, past relationships, school, work, life in general. that was also the night that we told each other how we really felt. we both could see a long term relationship and less than a week later, we were an offical couple. we broke up a little while after that and then got back together after realizing that at this time, we are perfect for each other. good luck with your situation. it will turn out for the best if your optimistic.
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