redexpo Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I feel like such a jerk asking this but I feel I have to. Three weeks ago I gave online dating a try for the first time. I started talking with a few women, two of which have lead to at least a second date. One of these women seems to be very excited about things which is something I don't really want to happen. After our second date she kissed me. I will admit part of this is my fault. Our second date we had dinner and went back to my house to watch a movie. During the movie I let her get close to me. She put her head on my shoulder and I got caught up in things. by the end my arm was around her and she was basically cuddled up next to me. Usually I would be very happy about this. I've have never been one to date more then one person at a time. And I mean NEVER. But that is the position I've found myself in. I want to slowly get to both of these girls. Both seem to be great, but i don't want one person getting too excited or to get her hopes up, which I know is happening with the one. She's been asking if I would like to hang out most days since our first, which was this past weekend, but we've only hung out together twice so far. What can I do to ensure she doesn't get too excited or gets her hopes up? I've been trying to avoid seeing her the past couple of days, but we still text.
BluEyeL Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Tell her gently, but directly that you would like to take things slow, you like her but you are worried you are moving too fast. If she likes you so much, she won't leave and might get the message. 1
bob the brave Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I agree with BluEyeL. It is her problem (very common though) to move to quickly. There is no way you can know someone that well, that fast. She is excited not about you (that is impossible after two dates). She is excited about being in a relationship. Therefore you are right to move slow for both your benefits. If you tell her you just want to go slow she may think you don't like her or get her feeling hurt. You might tell her you had some bad experiences with prior relationships, so that is why you just want to move slow. Also remember, that now you've unwittingly entered the player zone. If either one finds out about the other, you're done.
Divasu Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Let her know that you're dating other women and you're not at a point where you want to close off your options. It may help her dial her feelings back.
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