steelpantherrocks Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 hey guys, i know i have on here giving advice on how to do this and that, i have gone through a tremendous amount of heartache this past 7 months. many ups and downs and i felt as though i could help someone out in a similar senario. If i did great but now i feel as though i need an outlet to perhaps voice my own inner issues that i am feeling at this point in time.. ive given my story, left me after 4.5 yrs, engaged she was 11 yrs younger, found out there was another guy close to the end of the relationship which made it easy for her to walk away. guy happened to be my friend as well. i did the crying begging, pretty much stalking for many many months. thought back in feb i gained some ground with her after we spent a few hours together but she was firm in her stance she wanted to be single and not be i a relationship. we talked about the possibility down the road but she couldnt guarantee anything. we tried the friends thing but it was too hard. when she wouldnt answer me back or respond to me for hours even days it got insulting. this last contact about a month ago was the last straw for me and havent looked back since. shes young, going through party stage, finding out who she is what she wants etc. i get that and im not upset at her for that its how she left and how easy it was for her to sleep with my friends right away. i have been seeing a girl now for about 4.5 months. shes great. we get along, have fun together have way more in common, but its just not my ex. i know im probably not ready as most will say but i am trying. now that i havent had contact with my ex for a month its been alot better. this past week though i have been thinking of my ex alot, i deleted facebook a while ago etc so that i dont have the urge to creep on her. out of sight out of mind is my strategy here. it has been working up untill this week. i find myself thinking about her alot and really missing her. shes been hooking up with alot of guys around town, she hangs out where i normally did but i havent gone for months so that i dont run into her. we havent had contact at all in about a month or so, not even an email. she has been however emailing my mom to see if she can come visit my parents (my dad recently had some health issues). also has been in contact with my sister n law as well concerning my dad. she walks by my work a couple times a week and normally walks by with her head down very quickly, the other day she made eye contact with me while she walked by. it was weird. perhaps im looking into this more than i should but maybe theres more too it. alot of my friends say shell regret her actions eventually as i took care of her pretty well. i doubt shes over the relationship as we had something pretty special at one time. i dont want her back right now, im too messed up over what she did and i am angry at her for treating me like a piece of garbage. but why cant i take all the **** she did and just wipe my hands of this girl. like i know deep down were not good together right now, she needs to do some serious growing up before i could ever consider it, and the fact that shes been laying down for everyone and anyone doesnt sit well with me either. i guess im just wondering why all of a sudden now thats i havent spoken to her at all or really seen her are these feelings so strong right now, like i miss her alot latley. is she missing me too, im just super confused i have fought the urges all week to email her or text her as i dont want to go backwards.i am really angry at her and find myself really think alot about all the hurtful things we did to eachother. i dont want to love this girl anymore, by why is she so strongly in my thoughts. i am happy in my other relationship and i dont want this confusion.. im taking others advice to stay N/C and it def does help but holy, after 7 months i feel as though right now she left yesterday.. thanks for reading..
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