Archgirl Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Nope. I was not really into him when we met, I actually started to like him ( the douche) after realizing that we have so much in common and could talk about nerdy stuff and we love the same music. With nice guys, we never know if they like us or not. It is great that they are respectful and all, but sometimes we wonder if they are just being nice to us. Plus he and I are best man and MOH, so we naturally were talking more. Normally I stay away from these kind of guys anyway, I much prefer nerdy, sweet and romantic guys. Just never dated one ! haha. I never assume they are "just being nice". I am a fun smart goodlooking young woman - just like you. They ain't just being nice. They are guys. There is always at least a "what if?" 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 this should be taped to every nice guy's refrigerator. nice guys, this is how the fairer sex operates. she's not an anomaly at all. stop being a nice guy. why? it doesn't work. You misread this. It is not a choice, I would love a boyfriend like this, just have not met anyone like that who is interested in me.
outsidethebox Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 ahhhh, Buttercup femme fatale avatar. You Australian girlls are something. 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Beeeee! Stop it!!! You know what you are doing and just stop it! He is interested to some degree. Quit looking for the negative and bashing your own self esteem! Please please read that thingy on self-worth and dating - I can't find the post any more It doesn't matter what he thinks of you. Not even one little bit. You are you. You are awesome. If he can't see that his bloody loss and you don't freakin want him anyway! Right? Fist bump on it? Haha sorry Arch, I will stop. 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 If you've never dated nerdy, sweet, romantic guys....then you don't actually prefer them. Personally, I've been both the bad boy and the nice guy. Bad boy works much better. I have only been in one relationship so far. And hardly date.
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 something I am not is naïve. you are 28 and have never dated one. not a one in 28 years. guys: of course its a choice. girls will tell you they want the nice guy over and over, but if you can get an honest answer to how many nice guys have they dated, it'll probably be none. but they hem and haw and don't like the question. buttercup has made it easy by giving the answer on a silver platter. zero. I had a long term boyfriend, who was very nice but turned out to be an abusive jerk. I have liked nice guys, but they were not interested in me. For example, years ago I really liked this guy I worked with, he was just sweet and a gentlemen. I just found out now that he always liked me too, but never did anything about it, despite me flirting with him all the time. And this friendzone thing really bugs me. A woman does not have to date you just because you are nice. Does not make her awful or something just because she is not into you. 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 btw buttercup, if you and mark become an item, or you and mark ever have sex, you can come on here and tell me 'org was wrong' and i'll stand corrected. Yeah, because it is up to me. As you have read, I am the one who likes him and I am the one who messaged him twice, asked for his phone number etc. See, girls go after nice guys too.
Archgirl Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) something I am not is naïve. you are 28 and have never dated one. not a one in 28 years. guys: of course its a choice. girls will tell you they want the nice guy over and over, but if you can get an honest answer to how many nice guys have they dated, it'll probably be none. but they hem and haw and don't like the question. buttercup has made it easy by giving the answer on a silver platter. zero. I dated three in a row. The last one for six years. I know now that it's a disastrous match: I am not a nice girl. Now I've gone back to the bad boys, the current on is very bad and it's better, I'm happier and I'm not trying for something which doesn't fit me. BTW I can't tell if you guys are gently arguing or gently flirting it's super cute! Edited May 4, 2013 by Archgirl 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 I dated three in a row. The last one for six years. I know now that it's a disastrous match: I am not a nice girl. Now I've gone back to the bad boys, the current on is very bad and it's better, I'm happier and I'm not trying for something which doesn't fit me. I want to hear more about this Arch, sounds interesting :bunny: 1
Archgirl Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) I fixed it. your honesty about preferring bad boys in refreshing. most girls claim to want nice guys but secretly want bad boys. Hahaha! I was in a committed loving long term relationship with a quiet nice ordinary guy for 6 years. There was no using. Another was a guy I met on fieldwork but lived in a different city so we just had a mad passionate fling again any using was mutual. I don't use men, I adore them, I love getting to know them, flirting with them, getting to know their bodies. And they like me back. About 90% of the guys I've dated more than once or twice are still in my life a friends. But in one way you are right, nice guys aren't for me because they aren't equals. I'm complex, compassionate, tough, sexually experienced, street smart with a dark streak. I need so someone who matches that, can take me on and not shy away from the dark side and give each other heaps without taking it personally. None of the nice guys could do that. Just because a woman takes some of her own power back in dating and has healthy self esteem and sense of self does not mean she is a heartless user. It means she is happy. Edited May 4, 2013 by Archgirl
Archgirl Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 guys: if a girl refers to you as ordinary she is so over you. a girl isn't going to admit to using a guy. who broke up with who? archgirl: you are a normal average girl and what you want in a guy is what most others want and that isn't a nice guy. on an anonymous message board the truth comes out! :lmao: Seriously? Where have you been dude!? I am neither average nor normal :lmao: Time to stop derailing B's thread though methinks. Lets get back on topic. B when is the BBQ?
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 Good lord. You know, nice men do not have to be the unattractive, shy and awkward guys. My friends have married men who are confident, outgoing but good men. GOOD MEN. They are not perfect, no one is. But they looked after their partners when times were hard, they are loyal and their best friends. 1
Archgirl Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Good lord. You know, nice men do not have to be the unattractive, shy and awkward guys. My friends have married men who are confident, outgoing but good men. GOOD MEN. They are not perfect, no one is. But they looked after their partners when times were hard, they are loyal and their best friends. Ah! You've hit on the key point! The difference between being a good man and being a nice guy. Current guy I am dating is a good man in many ways as you have described but still very definitely a bad boy 1
Author Buttercup84 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 :lmao: Seriously? Where have you been dude!? I am neither average nor normal :lmao: Time to stop derailing B's thread though methinks. Lets get back on topic. B when is the BBQ? You are too awesome to be average ! He said either next weekend or the one after. He has a hot tub, thank God I have been to the gym hehe.
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