acrobaticmonkey Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I've never posted anything here and usually just read and get advice from others problems. However, the advice is never quite right because the situation is never the same. I've been with my boyfriend for a couple monthes over a year now and am utterly stuck. There are some parts of our relationship that are wonderful. He's a great person who is good-hearted. I am completely comfortable with him and we are just really close. I guess I could say that we are best friends and we get along great. On the other hand I have some major complaints. He's irresponsible. I get to handle all the bills, groceries, pay rent; I'm like his accountant-and I hate math. SOmetimes he'll tell me he's coming home to dinner at 6 and doesn't call or show till 3:30 in the morning. He'll do things like go out drinking instead of keeping plans with me. Our sex life is, well---it's bad to the point where I'm convinced rather be with a girl. When I mention leaving him he bursts into tears and begs me not to. I am his 2nd girlfriend (he 24) in he's life and his first love eachothers longest relationship and we've lived together for 4 months now. Am I just crazy, is he a normal guy? If not, how do I get out of this? How do I live with him in this studio after I've officially done it? How do I leave with mostly mine but sort-of our cat? HELP
DrunkenMonk Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 [color=blue]Sounds to me like he is not a completely mature person in the whole dating scheme. Dating is about trail and error just like about everything in life. I think he needs more experience with dating before moving in with someone and committing to an "in love" relationship. I would dump him. He is just like the child that is so used to being at home with mommy in her warm arms that he doesnt want to take a risk with going to kindergarten on monday morning. If you are absolutely certain that you arnt write for each other then he will eventually.... unless of course your wrong. Make sure it is not gonna work then dump his unconfident ass. DrunkenMonk[/color]
havNfun Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 The right thing to do though - BELIEVE ME I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE - Is to communicate this to him while he still has a chance to change and to keep your heart. The worst, is to find out when it is already to late. This is not fair to him at all. Every day that goes by, you are falling more and more out of love with him and he probably doesn't even fully get it - even if to you it seems like it should be obvious, it often isn't to us guys. You will hurt him badly if you don't keep him informed and warned and up-to-date on this. He will feel abandoned and like you dumped him out of the blue.
Author acrobaticmonkey Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 for the advice. I feel a lot better now that I've heard some other opinions on the matter. We're at different stages. He needs to find out how to treat a lady and what to do in bed and I need someone who already knows-at least somewhat (since I am not myself fully experienced in the dating world). havNfun, i think your advice is very good advice. We have a pretty open relationship though so he is mostly aware of the fact that I'm not happy. He doesn't know, however, to what extent I am unhappy. I think I'll give him a chance-after being completely and utterly honest-even though it probably still won't work out. The thing I most worried about is breaking his heart and losing a good friend. But I don't know any other way.
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