jamie1987 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Well hello everyone i hate using things like these as i like to think i can deal with things myself but i think thats my downfall as i never really talkabout things lol. Well anyway ive been broke up with my ex now for 1 year and 2 months and for some reason the past few weeks ive been thinking about her allot. When we first met each other we were so alike i could not beleive it i could not belive how much we had in common and we would laugh at the same things have disscussions on things that we both found intresting witch i have never had with another girl. So any ways everything was going fine untill a year later when she fell pregant with my daughter bonnie. We were so excited about having a kid and our own family that we decided to apply for a council house to move into so we did that. Then my daughter was born and god everything we had in the biginning was completly gone everytime i tried to have a conversation with her she would snap at me everytime i tried to have a laugh i felt asthough she was faking her laugh. I felt really abandoned and the funny thing was that when she was with her friends she was a completly different person laughing away wanting to party all night but not with me and i was nothing but nice to her. Dont get me wrong i had a few problems myself like playing computer games all the time witch i think is a problem witch ive had from a young age and also everytime i drank i brought up how hurt i was and felt asthough she was leaving me out to her she would tell me to shut up its all in my head and it would turn into an argument. Anyway got to the end of the year when i was out with friends and i was suppose to be going to my friends house to stay but wanted to go home and she was in with her friends and she said no just stay out with your friends i wasnt time with mine for a change, so i just bloow it i was curseing and swearing and everthing it just got to me that everthing else came before me. So the next day she told me we were finished and she has not loved me for a long time and that was that. So a just after the breakup i started having a nervious breakdown i think it was anyway never felt that low in my lif and my aniaxty got ten times worse i missed work lost my job texing her every minute of the day phoning her in tears going to my doctors in tears looking up the most painless way to kill myself because i felt so lost as i spent almost all my time with her everysingle day and i was back staying with my mum who i dont get on with and no friends ogh and no job now. So that went on for the most part of 2012 from the moment i wake up i would think about her thinking everyday how i just want the pain to end tried every antidepressant and none helped. But anyway so at the start of this year i started to feel better by trying to work out and make myself feel better as ive lost so much confidence since that day but even thats starting to fade and i feel me going back to how i felt before. I dont know if its because im dreading the day she tells me that she is with someone it will kill me and the fact that someone else will be in my little girls life Can anyone relate to this.
lavenderlove Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 This exact scenario hasn't happened to me, but there are things that help all of us to cope. For instance, try to focus on the good things that happen to you. Don't let go of your daughter no matter how the situation changes. You are her father, and nothing will ever change that. I never tried any antidepressants so I cannot talk from experience, but I think when something needs to be resolved in you heart and mind drugs can only fade and blur things for you. In my opinion it is important to go through these painful times, because a lesson will arise, and you will become something more not something less. It is very good that you are working out, try to spend time with your friends and do things you enjoy. The reason why that good feeling you got by exercising faded is because at the beginning it was something you started, made a step, now you are just maintaining that, so now it is time to make an other step and move one level up again. Best of luck, keep us updated:)
TaraMaiden Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 You're in the UK, I can tell, so: One: You need professional psychological support and counselling. go to your Doctor and kick stink to get it. Two: man up and grow a spine, for god's sake, and be a father to your child. Pay whatever you can to your ex in order to help her bring up your little girl. She's going to be a long time growing up - the least you could do is be the kind of father she can be proud of. Three: - Accept it's over. Accept that your ex will see other guys - in precisely the same way as you should accept that you're not going to be living under a rock for the rest of your life, and will probably date other women. Life goes on - you don't have a terminal illness, you're not disabled, and nobody's dying. You need to grab life by the horns and start shaking it.
Author jamie1987 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 This exact scenario hasn't happened to me, but there are things that help all of us to cope. For instance, try to focus on the good things that happen to you. Don't let go of your daughter no matter how the situation changes. You are her father, and nothing will ever change that. I never tried any antidepressants so I cannot talk from experience, but I think when something needs to be resolved in you heart and mind drugs can only fade and blur things for you. In my opinion it is important to go through these painful times, because a lesson will arise, and you will become something more not something less. It is very good that you are working out, try to spend time with your friends and do things you enjoy. The reason why that good feeling you got by exercising faded is because at the beginning it was something you started, made a step, now you are just maintaining that, so now it is time to make an other step and move one level up again. Best of luck, keep us updated:) Thamk you for the reply I see my daughter every week so none of this really affects her thats why i never really spoke of her . But i went to see my doctor yesterday and he put me on an antidepressant for my anxiety as ive now been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. But im still going to work out as well as this keeps me going to and slowly is building my confidence lol.
Author jamie1987 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 You're in the UK, I can tell, so: One: You need professional psychological support and counselling. go to your Doctor and kick stink to get it. Two: man up and grow a spine, for god's sake, and be a father to your child. Pay whatever you can to your ex in order to help her bring up your little girl. She's going to be a long time growing up - the least you could do is be the kind of father she can be proud of. Three: - Accept it's over. Accept that your ex will see other guys - in precisely the same way as you should accept that you're not going to be living under a rock for the rest of your life, and will probably date other women. Life goes on - you don't have a terminal illness, you're not disabled, and nobody's dying. You need to grab life by the horns and start shaking it. Ok 1 Im currently on the waiting list for counselling. 2 What do u mean man up im always there for my daughter i never said i was not so im confused as to why u would think that ?
TaraMaiden Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Talk of suicide, depression and 'someone else being in your little girl's life' is self-defeating, demoralising and does you no good. You need to shake yourself up a bit. Play footie, do some jogging, listen to upbeat music and get yourself - out of yourself. You'll be no good to your little girl with a despondent and self-defeating attitude. Don't let your ex- control how you feel. It's over. But your child will always be your child. Be the big guy she will always look up to.
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