cherie88 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Basically long story short. My ex boyfriend was in an affair with my "friend" Its been four months, but its still hard to digest. Ive been through so much but I choose not to say a word to them and live my life , Im a university student and wanted to be mature about it. My good friend on the other hand seen the way I was hurting and decided to call out the girl my ex got into an affair with on a social network website, calling her an homewrecker etc. I was kinda upset about her doing that , but at the same time felt a guilty pleasure out of her doing it. Even after what the girl has done to me , she called me out aswell and told me it was cause I was jealous ( she has no shame whatsoever) Despite this , I stopped the fight and told them both its not necessary and should be put in the past. But lately all I can think about is whether I look immature because of my friend who was looking out for me did this or if I look Im still not over this? Even though at the end of the day I was the one was hurt ..ugh what is my problem:(
Jonah Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I stopped the fight and told them both its not necessary and should be put in the past. But lately all I can think about is whether I look immature because of my friend who was looking out for me did this or if I look Im still not over this? Even though at the end of the day I was the one was hurt ..ugh what is my problem:( You're gonna get hurt. This is life. Hurt, but why? Thank your lucky stars that this female with the mentality of a middle schooler exposed this "prize" as the POS that he is. Saved you much trouble in the future. And look at how you handled it... you took the high road and won! Now it is up to you to drop the storyline and live your life. That's what a queen would do, shake her shoes off and laugh to herself as she leaves the poppers behind to squabble amongst themselves. I think you were meant to experience this now. This experience will grant you much wisdom which will be very handy in the future. I think you handled this very gracefully. Your post made me smile. 1
candie13 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Listen, you got cheated on and you care about how you "look"? What's most important is how you feel! I believe that you were too preoccupied with not "looking" immature, not "seeming" exaggerated, focusing on controlling your behavior more than focusing on your feelings. You can't run away from how you feel. it's like a time bomb, it will hit you, sooner or later. It's actually hitting you 4 months later, because you were living in denial before. The best way to get over something is to get through it. Embrace your pain. Feel outraged. Get angry. Shout. Scream. Let it all out, otherwise you will continue to carry all those negative feelings with you, and never actually "set yourself free". Everyone wants to get over it without drama. Not how it works. The way you choose to handle those feelings of rejection, fear, hurt, disappointment, loss, that depends from one person to another. Some don't say anything, others take kickboxing classes, other go running. Other take a second job. Other start to sleep around to get confirmation of their sexuality. Others jump into a new relationship, seeking to mend their broken heart. Lots of options and lots of new mistakes you can do, out there. I'm not saying that wracking your partner's car is a good idea. But if you feel you have not let your anger and feelings get known, you actually should see your previous partner and let him hear you talk. Screw what he's thinking and what he's saying. It's about you and what makes you feel better. And sorry to say this, but the other woman has no place in this picture. It's strictly personal, it's between you and him. It doesn't matter how much that woman did you wrong, if she seduced him, drugged him into having sex, convinced him to leave you. It is his fault, his own wrong doing. You should have it in with him, not with her / the OW. So, to resume: listen to yourself, see what it is that you really really feel like doing to permanently let this situation go. After you understand what you really want, actually follow up and do it. After you do it, just let it go and move on. Please remember that there is no karma and there is nobody who will fight your battles. Cry your tears. Fix your wrong doings. You're responsible for your own well being. Chin up and move forward!
Author cherie88 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 You're gonna get hurt. This is life. Hurt, but why? Thank your lucky stars that this female with the mentality of a middle schooler exposed this "prize" as the POS that he is. Saved you much trouble in the future. And look at how you handled it... you took the high road and won! Now it is up to you to drop the storyline and live your life. That's what a queen would do, shake her shoes off and laugh to herself as she leaves the poppers behind to squabble amongst themselves. I think you were meant to experience this now. This experience will grant you much wisdom which will be very handy in the future. I think you handled this very gracefully. Your post made me smile. This really made me smile. Thankyou so much:o Ive never looked at it in this light ! I think I got the best gift in the end, and it was this experience 1
Author cherie88 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Listen, you got cheated on and you care about how you "look"? What's most important is how you feel! I believe that you were too preoccupied with not "looking" immature, not "seeming" exaggerated, focusing on controlling your behavior more than focusing on your feelings. You can't run away from how you feel. it's like a time bomb, it will hit you, sooner or later. It's actually hitting you 4 months later, because you were living in denial before. Chin up and move forward! So intereasting , ive never looked at it at that point of view, I was in denial that I was hurting saying to myself " Im so over this " and trying to prove it infront of everyone else aswell. This is an eye opener, and has made me learn how i should pay attention to how I feel instead of look in order to heal properly. Thankyou:o
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