BustedUpInside Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I just want to be alone right now. I just want to be depressed. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to hear how great your life is or how many opportunities you have waiting for you in the future. I don't want to worry about why you can't pay your half of the bills. I just want to do nothing. I want to wallow in self pity without people acting like I am not doing anything with my life. Guess what? I already know that. I am trying not to drown under the immense weight of my own depression. Stop telling me to get out there and meet new people and try new things. I don't want to see anybody or do anything. I just want to be alone for awhile with my own obsessive thoughts. It is an absolute chore to try and maintain my half of a conversation and I am tired of pretending that I care about anything other than wondering when my ex is going to realize that he made the biggest mistake of his life and come crawling back to me begging for me to just give him one more chance. I also know how crazy all of this sounds and this same time next week, I will probably be out of this funk, but please just let me be depressed this week because I feel like I am about to come out of my skull and am constantly on the verge of an emotional break down. 5
Author BustedUpInside Posted May 2, 2013 Author Posted May 2, 2013 It's just so hard to give up on something that I wanted so badly. It is difficult not to feel like a failure and hang on the hope that this is temporary. Facing reality is what makes me depressed.
andre84 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 In a lot of ways that is how I feel (or felt)... I'm not really depressed anymore, I'm just sad and feel like I have a huge hole in me. The only difference is that I did not want to be alone when I was depressed. I spent hours upon hours on the phone with family and friends trying to make sense of my situation. The scariest part is not knowing what your future holds. I had all these plans for a future with this person and now that she is out of the equation, it scares the crap out of me. In the end I know that I'll be ok. It's just that it takes time sadly. 1
KPChick000 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Yes it all sounds crazy, but it's only natural to have days like this. On my "off" days I totally just want to lay in my bed and go through old pictures or emails and reminisce about all the good times with my ex. Does that do me any good? No. Does it bring him back? No. Does it make me want to cry sometimes? Yes. But sometimes a cry is just what you need to get out of the funk. Like my friend always tells me, it's two steps forward, one step back, until you get to the finish line (acceptance and moving on). Keep telling yourself, you will get there. And you will. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Fair enough..as long as you own it, and as long as you have faith in yourself that you'll be able to pull yourself out of it later. Good luck!!
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