Rez Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Ive been dating someone for about 2 months now. We get along great and dont argue, have lots in common, talk for hours, and the sex is good too. Only thing is that shes been making lots of "other women" jokes for about 3 weeks now. A few examples...I told her i had an extra unused toothbrush in the cabinet...she made a comment about having them all color coded for all my different women. I was getting out of the shower when she called one night...she asked if I had a hot date...things like that. She makes them seem like jokes, but is there anything to that? Theres been like 8 instances in the last two weeks that come to mind. I had thought it might be a kind of roundabout way of trying to fish to see if Im still dating other women so when she made a comment a few days ago, I just came out and asked her if she thought I was still dating other women. She almost seemed to get a little irritated and said, you know...i have no idea where youre at. So I said, that I wasnt seeing anyone else and that I hadnt since we met. She still seemed a little irritated and said, well, its your life, Im not going to tell you what to do. I dropped it after that. So, any ideas what happened there? Id definitely appreciate any female points of view. I would think that what i said would make her happy. So why the reaction I got. I know we cant get in her head and know what was really going on, but ... Thanks.
mehim Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 when she keeps on making jokes about other women, is becasue she is feeling insecure. also its still a new relationship, she doesnt know u that well, therefore she keeps on guessing, so she would hear u saying that u r not seeing any other women, maybe its just reassurance to her. i somtimes make some jokes about other women to my bf, but sometimes just to make him feel like i dont care. what he does to irritate me is to agree with me and go along with the jokes, somtimes it bothers me when he does that.
Author Rez Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 I agree about her being insecure, but it still doesnt explain the other part. Why such a strange reaction when I told her I wasnt seeing anyone else?
mehim Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 now that part i really dont know, as u said we cant get into her head, what i suggest is that u ask her, y did she react the way she did.
Pookette Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Well, joking about "other" women in past relationships was for me a maybe not-so-subtle way of finding out what's going on with the guys I was dating. Having done so in the past, I think maybe she was kinda embarrassed about being maybe not-so-subtle. That's the impression I got. But then again, she could be joking...You never know.
Author Rez Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 Wow...now thats an answer I hadnt thought of. I immediately thought the worst. It hadnt occured to me that she may have been embarassed that I saw through her comments. Definitely something to think about.
blondedeluxe Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 ANY GIRL THAT HAS TO SAY **** LIKE THAT OBVIOUSLY KNOWS HER WAY AROUND THE BEDROOM AND PROBABLY MARKED SOME MENS TOOTHBRUSHES OF HER OWN, FIND OUT HER INTENTIONS NOT EVERY GIRL IS SO INNOCENT AND INSECURE PEOPLE LETS GET REAL n.
Pookette Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 please shes so cheating on you I guess I don't understand where you got that from... Could you explain how she is cheating on him?
blondedeluxe Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 no rhyme or reason, just maybe she is cheating, sometimes when women get insecure about what men are doing, sometimes we are doing the same, so im not saying omg she def is, but just keep an eye on her is all im saying, in the past when men asked me many questions about other men, i found them later to be cheaters, only to fault that there questions were results of their infidelity of my behalf
Pookette Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Ahh, I see. Could be that you're right. Gut instinct tells me here that she's just trying to find out if they're headed in a one on one direction. Maybe I read to much Cosmo.
Author Rez Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 Well, I have to admit...the cheating thought had crossed my mind as well. We havent actually said we wouldnt date other people, but we have agreed not to sleep with anyone else. If she is cheating however, shes a damn good liar then. We chat almost every day and share how our days went. Theres never any weird gaps in her days or time spent with friends that she doesnt tell me about. I had thought the same thing though. She got defensive and told me to do whatever I want because she felt guilty that she was out doing whatever she wants. Or she still wants to be out doing whatever she feels like and would feel guilty if I wasnt doing the same, or she just doesnt want me to get too attached, or something along those lines. I hope Im wrong and its something more simple, but who knows (well she does I guess ). Im generally pretty cynical when it comes to trusting people (Ive been burned pretty bad in the past), but every once in a while I let my guard down and can be somewhat naive. I have been trusting this woman...I hope my instincts havent been clouded by my heart . Oh well...time will tell I guess.
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