chex Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 the rules Never bend for a man Never meet a man half way Never go outta your way for a man Make him chase you and court you.... If he wont go outta his way and court you Then he lacks ambition. A man thats confident Can handle chasing a women and also handle rejection Based on "lion chases a rabbit" If a lion is hungry and ambitious he chases The rabbit If the lion wont chase a rabbit you dont want a lazy Lion that lays under a tree mooching up left Overs that other lions left behind This seperates the alpha lions from the beta lions. Leaders from followers. Alphas dont care if a rabbit wants to be friends The rabbit is still a rabbit and a alpha lions Job is to chase it. That's the law of the jungle.... Eat and survive Sit under a tree and starve Generally prides of lions have the males sitting under the trees and relaxing, while the lionesses bring him food. All males who don't have a harem to do their work for them(the "beta" lions) are bachelors who hunt for themselves. Mediocre metaphor. 1
Author ddc579 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 the rules Never bend for a man Never meet a man half way Never go outta your way for a man Make him chase you and court you.... If he wont go outta his way and court you Then he lacks ambition. A man thats confident Can handle chasing a women and also handle rejection Based on "lion chases a rabbit" If a lion is hungry and ambitious he chases The rabbit If the lion wont chase a rabbit you dont want a lazy Lion that lays under a tree mooching up left Overs that other lions left behind This seperates the alpha lions from the beta lions. Leaders from followers. Alphas dont care if a rabbit wants to be friends The rabbit is still a rabbit and a alpha lions Job is to chase it. That's the law of the jungle.... Eat and survive Sit under a tree and starve This is just getting to be mindless trolling at this point. I know OPs normally don't ask this -- but can a moderator just close this thread? I've gotten a lot of wonderful feedback that I personally don't feel the need for this to drone on anymore.
grkBoy Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Wow 7 pages. Not going to catch up. If it were me, I'd go to breakfast and have no expectations. If she was feeling more "just friends" with me after that, then I'd pick one of these two options: 1) Accept friendship, and be her friend to a degree. "To a degree" means I won't be her cuddle-b!tch or crying blanket. I'll be checking out any attractive single friends of hers, and would gladly introduce her to guy friends of mine she finds herself attracted to. I'd also toss the idea of her as a girlfriend in the trash...so if it's a year later and suddenly she's madly in love with me, I would more than likely reject that. Not a revenge thing, just a timing thing. 2) Don't accept her friendship, tell her I'm looking to date, and politely say goodbye, wishing her well. I won't be snotty or mad about it, but simply tell her I don't get a "friend vibe" with her, and to be "just friends" at this point would be me telling her a lie and making things a mess. Be a man. Be logical. I don't care if she rejects and finds an absolute amazing gentleman she marries, or dates a string of jerks and ends up knocked up...it's not your problem. Better to either toss the lust away or just walk away when you know it's not the result you wanted. 1
charlietheginger Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 This is just getting to be mindless trolling at this point. I know OPs normally don't ask this -- but can a moderator just close this thread? I've gotten a lot of wonderful feedback that I personally don't feel the need for this to drone on anymore. Read the book Be a lion Not a cry baby beta..... your not a lion end of story
Author ddc579 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Wow 7 pages. Not going to catch up. If it were me, I'd go to breakfast and have no expectations. If she was feeling more "just friends" with me after that, then I'd pick one of these two options: 1) Accept friendship, and be her friend to a degree. "To a degree" means I won't be her cuddle-b!tch or crying blanket. I'll be checking out any attractive single friends of hers, and would gladly introduce her to guy friends of mine she finds herself attracted to. I'd also toss the idea of her as a girlfriend in the trash...so if it's a year later and suddenly she's madly in love with me, I would more than likely reject that. Not a revenge thing, just a timing thing. 2) Don't accept her friendship, tell her I'm looking to date, and politely say goodbye, wishing her well. I won't be snotty or mad about it, but simply tell her I don't get a "friend vibe" with her, and to be "just friends" at this point would be me telling her a lie and making things a mess. Be a man. Be logical. I don't care if she rejects and finds an absolute amazing gentleman she marries, or dates a string of jerks and ends up knocked up...it's not your problem. Better to either toss the lust away or just walk away when you know it's not the result you wanted. I know you didn't read the thread, so I'll skip to the end of the story...option #2 is exactly what happened. It was very cordial. 2
charlietheginger Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Wow 7 pages. Not going to catch up. If it were me, I'd go to breakfast and have no expectations. If she was feeling more "just friends" with me after that, then I'd pick one of these two options: 1) Accept friendship, and be her friend to a degree. "To a degree" means I won't be her cuddle-b!tch or crying blanket. I'll be checking out any attractive single friends of hers, and would gladly introduce her to guy friends of mine she finds herself attracted to. I'd also toss the idea of her as a girlfriend in the trash...so if it's a year later and suddenly she's madly in love with me, I would more than likely reject that. Not a revenge thing, just a timing thing. 2) Don't accept her friendship, tell her I'm looking to date, and politely say goodbye, wishing her well. I won't be snotty or mad about it, but simply tell her I don't get a "friend vibe" with her, and to be "just friends" at this point would be me telling her a lie and making things a mess. Be a man. Be logical. I don't care if she rejects and finds an absolute amazing gentleman she marries, or dates a string of jerks and ends up knocked up...it's not your problem. Better to either toss the lust away or just walk away when you know it's not the result you wanted. He turned down breakfast Scared of rejection.... The man thats afraid to die never gets to live Thats the whole point.... Go to breakfast See what happens The op is so afraid to be rejected he chickened Out You cant win the lottery if you never buy a ticket
Author ddc579 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 He turned down breakfast Scared of rejection.... The man thats afraid to die never gets to live Thats the whole point.... Go to breakfast See what happens The op is so afraid to be rejected he chickened Out You cant win the lottery if you never buy a ticket Yet I can earn a million dollars if I work at it. 1
StanMusial Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 He turned down breakfast Scared of rejection.... The man thats afraid to die never gets to live Thats the whole point.... Go to breakfast See what happens The op is so afraid to be rejected he chickened Out You cant win the lottery if you never buy a ticket Charlie you're one of my favorite posters but I disagree on this one. This is like playing the lottery after she already handed him a 100% guaranteed losing ticket. 4
charlietheginger Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Yet I can earn a million dollars if I work at it. Then why not go to breakfast earn the woman ? See the point? You think bill gates didnt take risk? Warren buffet didnt lose money to be a billionaire? What im asking is YOU TO STEP OUTTA YOUR COMFORT ZONE take a risk roll the dice... Wether you win or lose isnt always a factor In life you win some you lose some. Being scared to take a risk in life often holds people back
grkBoy Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 I know you didn't read the thread, so I'll skip to the end of the story...option #2 is exactly what happened. It was very cordial. Sorry...just wasn't in the mood to sift through 7 pages. He turned down breakfast Scared of rejection.... The man thats afraid to die never gets to live Thats the whole point.... Go to breakfast See what happens The op is so afraid to be rejected he chickened Out You cant win the lottery if you never buy a ticket I agree. Even my suggestion was to take a chance. Maybe she'll feel "more" after said breakfast. It can happen. 1
Author ddc579 Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 Then why not go to breakfast earn the woman ? See the point? You think bill gates didnt take risk? Warren buffet didnt lose money to be a billionaire? What im asking is YOU TO STEP OUTTA YOUR COMFORT ZONE take a risk roll the dice... Wether you win or lose isnt always a factor In life you win some you lose some. Being scared to take a risk in life often holds people back How about we just leave it like this? You have your philosophy. I have my philosophy. They clearly don't mesh. I appreciate your unnecessarily high interest in my dating life, but neither of us are going to be changing our minds anytime soon...so this is all a waste of time. Instead of all the semantics and metaphors, let's just let this whole thing go to rest so other posts can get more attention.
charlietheginger Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Charlie you're one of my favorite posters but I disagree on this one. This is like playing the lottery after she already handed him a 100% guaranteed losing ticket. Why is her buying breakfast offering friendship losing? Its winning. She could easily said hey lets go on a third date Or you seem like a great guy my friend and you would get along great Let me set you two up... What im saying is she is see the big opportunites in life
charlietheginger Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 How about we just leave it like this? You have your philosophy. I have my philosophy. They clearly don't mesh. I appreciate your unnecessarily high interest in my dating life, but neither of us are going to be changing our minds anytime soon...so this is all a waste of time. Instead of all the semantics and metaphors, let's just let this whole thing go to rest so other posts can get more attention. you think christopher columbus getting lost was a failure Others see it as discovering america... No offense being close mined in life gets you no were In relationships I learned it the hardway just trying to help you out man
charlietheginger Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 In business you're not going to do business with everyone. You have to weed out people. Plus he already met her and there was no sparks flying. He already planned to meet his friends that morning that was arranged long before he met her. So he asked for another time but she refused so there's nothing he can do. Noway I would ditch my friends that I made and promised over someone I barely know. What your discribing is walking on a highwire with a saftey net Its not a big accomplishment Walking a hirewire with no saftey net is what people pay Money to see... does a baseball player say " im afraid ill strike out So ill sit on the bench" No he goes to bat he may strike out or may hit a homerun Sitting in dugout sure you never strike out but you Never hit a home run.... What the op wants is a teeball on a stand that he knows he can hit..... Take risk goto bat strike out.... Moveon Hit s homerun thats awsome... No risk means sitting in the dugout
StanMusial Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Here's a football analogy. You don't throw a hail mary pass on 4th and long in the first quarter. You punt the ball and wait to get the ball back, and play the odds. If it's late in the 4th quarter and you're losing in the Super Bowl, then you try the hail mary pass. Given the context in the OP situation (OLD, first/second date, breakfast, friend vibe comment) I'd say it was time to punt.
charlietheginger Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 There is always a risk no matter what unless you choose to do nothing. Thats what happened he did nothing... They had a second date planned She had to move the date She picked a new date the date would not work for the op Op picked new date She agreed He agreed She said im feeling a friends vibe but we can still hangout Op had the ball in his possession Op could have said ok let's hangout see where it goes Instead op just said i got friendzoned Took the ball threw it away Had the op took the ball went to meet for breakfast ..... He had a chance to use his swagger to change the vibe From friends to third date But he just said " im not driving to be friendzoned" So the op folded his cards and didnt play out his hand Now he loses. Had he went to.breakfast on her dime at the later date He had a 50/50chance .. But now he has none.
Author ddc579 Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 (edited) Thats what happened he did nothing... They had a second date planned She had to move the date She picked a new date the date would not work for the op Op picked new date She agreed He agreed She said im feeling a friends vibe but we can still hangout Op had the ball in his possession Op could have said ok let's hangout see where it goes Instead op just said i got friendzoned Took the ball threw it away Had the op took the ball went to meet for breakfast ..... He had a chance to use his swagger to change the vibe From friends to third date But he just said " im not driving to be friendzoned" So the op folded his cards and didnt play out his hand Now he loses. Had he went to.breakfast on her dime at the later date He had a 50/50chance .. But now he has none. And here's the amazing part about your last sentence...I'm not upset about that! In fact, I have a date lined up with someone else next week. It's amazing what the power of "moving forward" can really do. So for the love of God, end your obsession over proving your point and "move forward." Edited May 4, 2013 by ddc579
charlietheginger Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 And here's the amazing part about your last sentence...I'm not upset about that! In fact, I have a date lined up with someone else next week. It's amazing what the power of "moving forward" can really do. So for the love of God, end your obsession over this and "move forward." and will this next prospect end in diaster while Scheduling the second and third date? viewers stay tuned for the next episode of "i didnt get what i wanted when i wanted it" To fix ones future they must except what didnt work In the past.... Good luck
SJC2008 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Then why not go to breakfast earn the woman ? See the point? You think bill gates didnt take risk? Warren buffet didnt lose money to be a billionaire? What im asking is YOU TO STEP OUTTA YOUR COMFORT ZONE take a risk roll the dice... Wether you win or lose isnt always a factor In life you win some you lose some. Being scared to take a risk in life often holds people back You would ask such a question since you adimit that most/all of your girl friends have courted you... Dude you have no basis in this thread! Acting like you're an expert when YOU wait for the woman to make the move. Either take back what you said a about all/most of your gf's asking you out or get the eff out of this thread dog. You're a troll dog and I'm tired of it...
SJC2008 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 The woman is a passive aggressive flake and everyone knows it. Two weeks isn't shyt to a serious person who is CONSCIOUSLY looking for a match. Got too cold lol!, didn't play the game right whatever! We're not hin high school any more.. If OP made the panties wet, two weeks wouldn't be anything. Besides, it's OLD, the , BBD is one click away... Grow up Charlie the Ginger I don't care what you read... If I lose their game good! That's one less immature person I have to deal with.
SJC2008 Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Why is her buying breakfast offering friendship losing? Its winning. She could easily said hey lets go on a third date Or you seem like a great guy my friend and you would get along great Let me set you two up... What im saying is she is see the big opportunites in life Because the last thing I'm going to do with a woman I'm interested in is f.uck everything up by playing some stupind game by friend zoning her. Dude you're in your 30's man. Drink a friggin glass of grow the f.uck up already. I'm preaching to the chior here. All of your realtionhips YOU have been courted like you're the woman!
Chicago_Guy Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I'm not young or naive (she's not young either -- we're both early-to-mid 30s). I suspected something was up for at least week, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Unfortunately, my gut instincts were right, but that's fine...you live and you learn. There will never be another attempt at contacting her from my end, and that's not coming from a place of bitterness. It's for the exact reason you said -- I won't be a doormat, nor will I allow myself to be played with. I still hope for the best for her...but I'm moving forward. I have learned to trust my gut when it comes to dating. It something doesn't feel right in your gut, there is probably a reason for it.
Chicago_Guy Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 from her view a woman that gets hit on everyday Guys always wanting sex and thats all. Her only option Is to screen guys to see if they are serious or only Looking for booty calls. If you showed up only expecting conversation and Maybe friends then she knows your interested as her In a person not as a piece of ass. Friendships can Build into relationships. She didnt know you from tom dick or harry. You could be some hiv infected filth ball looking For sex. After see your reaction to being friends Means i wont drive to see you. Her thought was great another player expecting To get down my pants the third date. Had you gone on the date no expectations she would have been able to feel you out and see you Really are looking for a longterm deal not just a piece Of booty then bail. Your goal if you are wanting to attract a woman is " be open minded To new people and friendships" not "im a pout like a 12 yr old if i dont get my way" She tested your maturity level... You failed... A strong confident man looking for a ltr would Have gone to breakfast with confidence and Excepted the outcome be it friends or maybe you Clicked. By not showing up she weeded you out . The OP wasn't playing any games as far as I can tell. Instead, the girl he referenced was either not interested or she was the one playing games. A girl who pulls stuff like this, especially if she is in her 30s as the OP claims, is not even worth his time. That girl might have been able to get away with this type of behavior when she was in her early-to-mid 20s, but if she is in her early-to-mid 30s, she is way too old to try getting away with this kind of behavior. Most men aren't players, yet a lot of women spend their youths dating players while playing the field and then when they later date decent men they are jaded and take it out on the decent men. That could explain the girl's behavior in the OP's post.
Chicago_Guy Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Im not trolling... Its not a "technical " game... yes if she was important you would change your plans. If you keep plans then she wasnt important enough. You seriously need to read the book man if not your Gonna strike out everytime. A few of the rules "always let him take the lead" "always play hard to get" "always end calls first" I was the same as you my friend... Once i read the book I finally got it. The bases of the book is make the man chase you. If he won't chase. Then he is not a alpha male he a passive Male and will never be successful in life as he is the guy Afraid to take risk. Once again im not trolling. If your a beta male or passive Then you wont get the woman. a alpha male would have the mindset " i want her ill cancel Plans , ill drive to her town reguardless of the outcome" The alpha is take charge versus ill go online pout i got Friendzoned. For the love of god just read the stupid book its free and Online. I think you've got this backwards. The one who chases the woman who acts disinterested in the BETA, not the ALPHA, male. The Alpha has women chasing after him and he won't waste his time with a woman who is too much of a hassle because he can easily get another woman, unlike the beta.
the_entertainer1 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 She texts back that it wouldn't work, and closes it with, "I like you, but I feel more of a friend vibe currently." She said if I wanted, I could still come down for a quick bite and conversation and (again) she would pay. I respectfully declined and wished her the best of luck. I don't care about being told that she's not feeling it. That's perfectly fine. I just can't quite figure out why she'd still try to keep some semblance of a date...and then tell me that I got the "friend vibe" when I said I can't do it that day. Even if she was just trying to let me down easily, why even invite me her way to begin with? She already hadn't responded to my voicemail -- why not just tell me flat out that she doesn't feel that way? I mean -- what if I said yes? Was I going to have to drive down and meet her just to be told the same thing? I'm not upset at all -- I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the logic of this one. Ok - from a girl's perspective ... there are a few ways I'd look at this situation. Firstly: She could be trying to let you down gently. Secondly: There is a possibility that she might actually want your friendship. I've dated a couple of guys in the past (where it didn't get that serious) who I wouldn't have minded staying friends with. Thirdly: if she's telling you she got the "friend vibe" - it's good that she was honest with you. But I think that by suggesting to still meet up, she was giving you (both of you) another chance, to see how things went. Almost like a 'challenge' to you, to see if you will change your behaviour from 'friend' to 'date'. To me, the third option makes the most sense, and it might be what I'd do. It's kind of what I'm doing right now, lol.
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