manofmystrey Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Ladies I am confused about something......... I am just wondering something? I was brought up in a house where we were taught to respect woman. This has led me to be a nice guy i think, but here is the problem i have. I do things like hold the door open, buy my special lady flowers things like that. Things aen should do for woman to be gentleman or to show interest. I have been called things like a player or someone that is just trying to get laid or someone that is just bull sh@$$ing the woman. I have also been called gay. When ever I ask woman why is this they tell me that I am far to nice and that is why men like me have this lable. They have told me that men are not nice unless they are looking for something. I am doing something wrong? What can i do to not look like a player or a guy that is just trying to get into some girls pants. This has gotten to be quite frustrating for myself. The truth of the matter is that i dont now how to be a bad boy cause I have been brought up to be a gentlemen my whole life and it seem now a days that woman are looking for a guy that is a bad boy image. I admit i have been out of the dating scene for a long time cause i just got out of a long term relationship but are things that different now?
Moon Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I think there's nothing wrong with the way you're acting, being gentleman is a good thing and I believe most women still appreciate that. Unfortunately some people may take it the wrong way because alot of men out there do those things for a purpose, if that's not your purpose then it's great. Do not try to be somebody else you are not, I am sure you can find a lady that totally appreciate your "gentlemen" effort, at least that's how I feel from a woman's point of view. As long as you are not overdoing it, that special someone will come along and realize it's not some sort of a "game". Good luck, and don't try to be a 'bad boy' just because they may appear to attract more female (those who actually enjoy being mistreated).
imjustagirl Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 There is no reason to go for the whole bad boy image.....if you go for that image, you're bound to pickup something you cannot take home to mother. My boyfriend was raised in a house full of women. He too learned to open doors for ladies, put the toilet seat down (I thank'd his mother!) and cook. (He is lacking on the flower portion tho, but we're both broke, so I completely understand and am not about to make a big deal about it). Long story short...keep doin what you're doing and you'll end up w/ a loving lady at your side.
bluechocolate Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Originally posted by DJ_Dork be yourself. can't add to that
CurlyIam Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Honestely, who cares what other men think? They're jealous they have to force themselves to do the things you do naturally. Be yourself and I am most certain you won't be on the dating scene for long . I cannot tell you if you're a player or a good guy, but I can certainly say you're a keeper. Good for you and for your family !
ps123 Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I agree with everyone else. The only thing you might be doing wrong is picking women that dont appreciate you being nice. I posted about this a few weeks ago. I also have dated women who think that nice guys are just out to get something and that theres always an evil side hiding behind the nice part. I do nice things because I am just a nice guy, and I want the woman Im dating to feel special and I feel that they deserve it, not because Im out to get something...and if it does lead to something...well thats just a bonus Keep doing what youre doing and the right person will come along who appreciates it.
Author manofmystrey Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 thank u all for the advice. I am just sometimes so confused cause the woman i have talked to are always like I have some angel, but the truth is i was brought up to respect woman and treat them well. I have never disrespected a woman in my life and that is why they are always like i am just trying to get something. The truth is that i am just a nice guy. The whole bad boy image is not me i could not pull that off i tried my hardest to do it. It works for some guys but I am not one of them. Does anyone have any advice as to what i can do to stay nice but not come across as a player or just someone trying to get something.
SoleMate Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Being nice is always nice. But I do have some advice: Don't treat a girl like an "angel". Don't put her on a pedestal. It is an uncomfortable, confining space and it hurts so bad when she falls off! Instead, treat her like a PERSON and a woman. Do you see the difference? Also, who called you gay? Surely not a woman whom you were courting. Maybe it was another male who was annoyed at you raising the courtship standards for the area. Final word: When you give flowers, make sure that she wants flowers and that they are the kind she likes.
JessicaAlmond Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 How old are you? The thing is Younger girls do not know how to appreciate a gentleman. They don't know they want one yet..but you'll see;) Act like yourself and do what you feel is right. And it will pay off in the end. Also be nice but not smothering I think thats what solemate was trying to say.
Author manofmystrey Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 Hey SoleMate I understand what u mean, I dont like being over bearing or somerthering when it comes to the matters of the heart as they are very delicte. I just believe that there is nothing wrong in treating a girl with respect and show good manners. I mean there are far to many men out there that treat woman like garbage and that to me is not right. I was in a very long relationship which ended badly but when I looked at my friends they always seemed to treat their woman like trash or paly things and it was not very respectfull to the woman. The gay thing is normally other guys that are like he cant be straight he is too nice and crap like that. U figure for being adults they would be a little more mature. The flowers part is hard sometimes cause its hard to know what a womans fav flower is, but i like giving them cause it shows that i care. JessicaAlmond I am 25 right now and I have always tried to be a gentelman some woman like it some dont. The whole dating thing can be quite a challange sometimes. I dont for anyone change who I am they will either like me or hate me for me but not for someone i am trying to be.
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