Paperflowers Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I've been dating a guy for about 4 months, casually for the first 2 months, but we made it exclusive about 2 months ago. I am 28 and he is 31. When we first started dating, I told him I was looking for something long term and I wasn't taking this lightly. He told me he was looking for the same. We have a lot of fun together and I really enjoy him, but I don't feel like the relationship is really progressing. He's not opening up about his past or his feelings, and it seems like we're in the same place emotionally that we were 2 months ago. I've encouraged him to talk to me about anything with hopes that we can get to know each other on a deeper level, but it's not making a difference. I'm getting to the point where I'm not sure we're ever going to connect in this way. I understand that relationships should develop naturally, but part of me is getting impatient and wondering if he'll ever be able to open up. Any thoughts?
Kwaters1977 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I am now in a similar situation. Although I only met her for a month. We do text a lot and I got some clear signs she's interested. However, on the second date it didn't end well, the convo is all serious and boring talk and there's no sexual tension at all. She didnt flirt during the dates but she does over texts. I felt it was situational and I wasn't set up for the move, although I really want to. But it seems the guy is just like me, just waiting for the right time. See if you could flirt with him a little instead of just talking about the deeper emotion and it might do the trick. I certainly wish my girl does it to me.
todreaminblue Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I've been dating a guy for about 4 months, casually for the first 2 months, but we made it exclusive about 2 months ago. I am 28 and he is 31. When we first started dating, I told him I was looking for something long term and I wasn't taking this lightly. He told me he was looking for the same. We have a lot of fun together and I really enjoy him, but I don't feel like the relationship is really progressing. He's not opening up about his past or his feelings, and it seems like we're in the same place emotionally that we were 2 months ago. I've encouraged him to talk to me about anything with hopes that we can get to know each other on a deeper level, but it's not making a difference. I'm getting to the point where I'm not sure we're ever going to connect in this way. I understand that relationships should develop naturally, but part of me is getting impatient and wondering if he'll ever be able to open up. Any thoughts? some guys find it really hard to open up.....normally before i even go out with a guy i know their history ...as they have already opened up to me as a close friend, I have an extensive history and if a guy is closed off from me before i date them i know the relationship wont work out.......openness is the only way i relax if they trust me i can trust them....in saying that.....you have to give him time to open up...be open yourself...i have found that when a guy makes that first step to open up ......you do it straight back.....you share your past.......doesnt have to be major but a continuation of openness helps encourage more openness...... one thing you cant do is judge you have to be objective........because normally when people have trouble in trusting someone to open up......there is something there....something that is difficult....either a reaction from opening up to someone about something difficult, or the actual thing that is difficult to tell.......when you open a history book and you read of horrible occurrences or tragedies or hard situations....you dont really judge what is written....you might have feelings about what you are reading.....but you dont judge ...because you cant change what is written.... same goes for someone who opens up their history book to you.....it is in their past......be open....be honest.....and when he does eventually open up to you....dont judge him but feel good he is able to trust you enough to share with you what he doesnt often share with anyone....i wish you well.....deb 1
CatGirlz Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Yep, I am in the same boat. And it's weird because most men I've been with are blabbermouths. For instance, I don't know anything about my guy's past relationships. Has yours discussed this with you? What else "isn't" he saying that's bothering you?
Author Paperflowers Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 Sorry to hear you're in the same boat. He's told me bits and pieces about his past relationships, but I don't know very many details. He started to tell me about a woman he dated about 5 years ago and how they were planning on getting married, but ended up calling it off after moving in together. I tried to ask questions about the breakup, and he literally told me that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I also know that he had a long distance relationship with a much younger woman for about a year and a half. He ended it and broke her heart. He hates sharing his feelings or being emotional, and stops himself from opening up, which I find really annoying. I think he's afraid that by talking about how he feels, it will make him less of a man. I'm at a loss because I've never dated anyone this reserved. Most of my exes have been the opposite actually. Other things in the relationship are great. There's a lot of attraction, senses of humor match, we get along well with eachother's friends, etc.
jmwinters Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I think he still into you. You see, guys don't like to talk about their past or maybe they dont have any relationship history to talk about. Why is the past important to you? Is present and future more important?
Recommended Posts