mbee Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Just yesterday I met up with my ex. I found out he had been emotionally cheating on me the past few weeks with a married woman, a fellow writer, who he met at a writer's conference that I also attended, he knows online and lives across the country. I informed her husband, and they are working it out and she de-friended my ex on Facebook. I told my ex what I did, and he was understanding and didn't seem to care. Yet I asked him if he loved her, and he said he doesn't know. I asked him why he wanted to end things, and he said irreconcilable differences. I asked him for a few and they could have not been issues if he had communicated about it. Last year we went through something a bit dramatic and we worked through the issues, we both changed, and he even said things were so much better and he was happy. We had planned to go to counseling next month to get him to open up more since he's always had a problem communicating what he's feeling and what's wrong. I'm not being egotistical but I was an amazing woman towards him. I love him with all my heart. He's a writer and we started this very popular (100K visitors a month) website together (I'm a technie so could help do it). Last Christmas I took him to see his best friend in San Francisco and treated him to all these things. I NEVER move for guys and thought he was the one and moved states away to make this work about a year ago. I supported him in his writing, career, been there for him during rejections and acceptances, went to most of his book readings, etc. He met my family (we drove from TX --> CA) and we were supposed to be there for a week but his grandpa died. He couldn't afford a flight and they are super close so I cut the trip short (we were only there for 3-4 days) and we drove from CA --> IL to make the funeral. We both love to travel and I treated him to vacations to Central America and Poland. We both have two adorable dogs together. Please note he's a published writer and does make money, but I make far more money than he does and he showed me love and support in other ways. We lived together and got along so well. We did argue occasionally but we worked it out and had our comfortable routine. Just yesterday he said I was his best friend but he felt that he couldn't make me happy and I deserved better than him. He said the 2 years we had together were the best of his life. He didn't want me to kiss him or anything because he felt it would confuse him and give him mixed feelings. Even the same morning he broke up with me he was telling me how happy he was and crying tears of joy. It was all so sudden and it's hard to understand how he could walk away. He says it's not from this girl but how could it not be? Even as he walked away, I asked if he'd ever regret this, and he said he couldn't afford to think like that right now. He's convinced he can't make me happy, and that we had these issues that I don't even know about that probably wouldn't have ever changed. Any suggestions for coping with this? I know it's over and I'm not chasing him down. He chose to leave. I just don't understand how he could walk away from us.
flitzanu Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 people get confused and want to attach deep meaning to things, when it is as simple as him not wanting to be with you. that's truly all it boils down to.
all_cats_rgray Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 The "Why"... doesn't matter Bottom Line no matter what reason they tell you for why they dumped you...Here is the real one ( this applies to everyone) Their feeling for you changed, no longer want to be with you, they think / feel / believe/ know / certain that their life is better off without you. Same reason above applies to GIGS, commitment phoebe, BPD, seven year itch, normal break ups, crazy break up, young, old, short relationship, long relationship...etc.. 1
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