Jilly10340 Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Something came up in another thread and I thought I would bring it up... How many of you have "stalked" an ex. You know what I'm talking about. You're sitting at home, just been dumped, feeling lonely, nothing to do......so you just get in your car with some lame excuse like you just want to take a drive but you somehow manage to drive by your ex's house just to see what was up? Everyone has been tempted one time or another. So how many people have crossed the creepy line?
tiki Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I only drove by an exes house once. It was probably 10 years ago. We had been broken up for a while. Looking back, it was borderline stalkish. Haven't done it since.
Author Jilly10340 Posted September 22, 2004 Author Posted September 22, 2004 I must admit............Once after me and my ex fiance broke up. I parked at the gas station across from his work and waited for him to get off. He left with another girl....... I'm so glad that no one was there to witness my spiral in stalkdom....thats just shameful
EnigmaXOXO Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I'm so glad that no one was there to witness my spiral in stalkdom....thats just shameful Yeap. Me, too…when I was sixteen. First Love; First everything. He was twenty-one, and after getting what he wanted, he dumped me so he could work on one of my highschool friends who was just as smitten and naïve as I was. Of course, we were "in love". At least; that's the angle he worked while trying to convince me that having sex with him was the best way to show it. H*ll, it worked like a charm! And I was still determined to prove how much I loved him when turning that corner to his house to give him one last chance. I was so caught up in rehearsing the scenario of my "fantasy reunion" that I didn't even see the dump truck barreling through the red-light at over 60mph. BANG! Talk about your proverbial "smack upside the head!" A shattered pelvis, three fractured vertebrae, a concussion, a hole in my hip, and twelve stitches to my forehead gave me a lot of bedridden time to think things through…How much of myself I gave away, and how much more I COULD have lost over something that brought me more emotional harm than good. H*ll, I was so thoroughly beaten down (literally) that I couldn't have even crawled to his doorstep if I tried. BTW…He never so much as visited, inquired about my injuries or even sent a "get well" card. My very first lesson in: LOVE 101! When I finally managed to hobble back to school, my ex friend Patty, was wearing the new ring he had given her…the one he bought for me that I had given back. Word to the wise: No matter how pizzed you are, keep the loot! But ya know; I still consider myself one of the LUCKY ones because I got to learn that very important lesson early enough in my life to actually make some use of it when I got older. I'm thankful it happened and would never want to go back and change that moment in time and risk loosing everything I gained from it. It certainly cured me! You know…if there is a God, I suspect he must have one helluva sense of humor. Or perhaps, every so often, he just decides to exercise some well-needed Tough Love? Then again…I brought it on myself, so maybe in the end we're all our own worst enemies, our own best friends, and sometimes even our own greatest teachers? Now---If only we could all figure out how to pass our lessons along. Or should we?
DrunkenMonk Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Ive had 2 1+ year relationships and each time i break up with them they do that! dang girls... so clingy. DrunkenMonk
aFighter Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 The way I am I just build a little wall around my emotions for them and carry on. They're gone - best forgotten. It's a hard thing to do but it has to be done. The last one was pretty awful. It's been almost 4 months now & i still have no desire to be with anyone. I'm not pining away or anything I just...feel...........real......apathy..........towards dating again. ah well *shrug*
Pookette Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Oh God, me too. He was my first love and I was good friends with his sister. I hung out at their house *all* the time. I'd call over there just to see if he answered the phone. How embarrassing!
UCFKevin Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Extraordinarily. There's a fine line between love and insanity.
DerangedAngel Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Hm. No. I haven't stalked any of my ex's. Potential boyfriends, though. -DA
Mr Spock Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Stalking is a LOT of work. I may have decided my social calendar on who may or may not have attended similar events. But as for driving and waiting, no.
Papillon Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Yep.... *raises hand* I done it once or twice
daphne Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I'm of the same ilk as the pre-dating stalker. While the guy's working up the nerve to take the hints as real indications of interest, we try to figure out how to insert ourselves in situations to see them. Fortunately last guy did the same for me. He'd hear where I was going and he'd "show up". It's nice when you are pre-date stalking someone who is pre-date stalking you too. Bad thing is that that's as far as it's going dagnabbit. After a year and a half all I get is hand holding and an open admiration of my midsection. sigh Never post-dated stalked anyone but have been "stalked" by my exes. Too proud to do that even if I've thought about doing the "drive by" with the last ex. I probably would have had I been able to do it discreetly though. One of my other exes moved in next door after we broke up. Another followed me around to hte clubs I went to and home at 3am. That was insane.
savethedrama4allama Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 Nope I've never driven past an ex-boyfriend's house. Well I did once just to see what the house looked like, but I knew the ex didn't live there anymore. It had been some years and I was curious. My first boyfriend admitted to me once that 5 years post-breakup he still drove by my house weekly. CREEPY. I quit the sporadic email correspondence we had when I heard that. But, I have done a drive-by on a current boyfriend when I didn't trust that he was home as he claimed.
WantanS4 Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 SHHHH.ITTTT YEA!!! I've done it about 6-10 times in the last 4 months...... just checked to see if she was home on a friday/saturday night. Why? Because of the nature of the breakup.... i just didn't get a straight answer...... and so i wondered if i got 'replaced' instead of 'fired'. I stopped when one night i drove by at 4:30am.... and she wasn't home....... so that's when i decided to let go. Where do people go at 4:30 in the morning on a saturday night?? You know the answer...
CurlyIam Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I've never stalked anyone nor have I ever been staked. All I did was drive around the place where I and one of my exes first kissed when I was really down. I did get letters from exes years after we broke up, I remember one of them was still calling... he was a cutie, but I just was too practical to get into LDR .
Author Jilly10340 Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 Maybe she was um....or she got....yeah, we all know the answer
quankanne Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 for about a year after Mr. Wonderful dumped me and moved back to his hometown, I used to read the obituaries from the Corpus Christi paper to make sure "nothing bad" had happened to him!
Author Jilly10340 Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 I'm going to have to say that's the first time I've ever heard that. Hmmmm...........
Panther Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 MIne is kinda hard since I was still in my Exes life as a "friend" babysittign her kid and such after we broke up. Once we iniitiated NC, it was hard not to drive by since we were neighbours, and she lived on my way too and from work, and shops at all the same places I go to since we live in same neighbour hood. I have since changed my way to work, and shop at a diffeen tgrocvery store etc. I will have to admit it was hard not to drive by at first, but all that will gety you is hurt. I mean like what are you gonna do if you see a strange car in there driveway late at night..knock on the door. I don't think so. I would rather not know what my Ex is up to, and wish her well. My Ex recetnly sent me a note telling me she was "talking" to somebody. This was in response ot her finding out I was.... I wished her well, and said I hope you and your new guy are happy, and I got back a venemous email telling me it was none of my business if she is dating this guy or not. I would havenever wished her well, had I not been told by her she was talking to somebody.... I figure I don't have to drive byher house since she shows up where I work anyway. (I work in a nightclub). I have been blessed with NC from her finally the last two weeks almost........ I don't understsnd driving by there house... is it some odd way to "see" them or keep in touch. I figure this.. if you were special to a person... and even if it was a bad break up..... You are goingh to eventually hear from them, cause there curiousity will get to them. Best way to do NC.... don't even let mutual friends know what is up, cause you know at least one of the mutual friends are gonna report to both of you regardless if you care or not. Stay with your friends, don't drive by, do NC, and move on... it will save your sanity, your emotional haleth and your gas bill......
Panther Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 to clarify, Ex sent me note to tell me she was "talking" to somebody, after she found I was dating somebody... I don't know what "talking" curtails, but I didn't want to know in first place.....
Istandalone Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 I am so guilty of this! I think it's a lot worse when you know you have been lied to in the past and your trust has been trampled on. Now your curiousity takes over and leads you to do things LIKE STALK AN EX. But, sometimes it's better to know than wonder. I think I posted something about that a while ago. If you wonder, it will eat at you constantly. If you know, then at least you can be pissed and have peace of mind at the same time.
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