lildinoises Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Here is the down and dirty situation. We work in the same building and we both are not married and we both have kids. I joked around and asked him for his number and made the second move by texting him and one thing landed to another. I ended up at his house and he told me that he knows that I like him and all that he doesn't do relationships. Then we had sex and I slept in his bed. He told me before we went to bed that we were getting very personal because I slept in his bed. And the sex it was amazing, even though he went soft in the end. Then I found myself texting him more and he slowed down the texting. That following week I asked for help with a packet I had to fill out and put together. That resulted to a bj after joking around on how long it would take in the work place. He said ten minutes and I said five. He called me out so I did it in two minutes. He text that was soo good I want another. This week he is ignoring me and I texted him can you do me a favor I'm lost and I need help. So he text k and gave me a call. I told him no not now tomorrow I need help putting my washer and dryer together. He said ok after work. I like him what do I do...
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 You'll need the advice of the other female posters on this one for an emotional perspective/relatability as this is a pretty clear cut situation of casual sex and not going to lead anywhere...yet you're going to do it anyway, then obviously catch emotions yet feel "confused". Emotionally I don't know what you expect or are prepared to endure as you progress through this casual sex relationship, and I'm not sure what you as a woman or person in this situation would need to tell yourself in order to live with the fact that there is no opportunity to progress into something more "significant", exclusive/relationship. If you follow the common norm/practice, you'll merely hope and try to convince yourself that "maybe it'll change" with pixie magic, or something or other.
ses Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Unfortunately, it sounds like he got what he wanted from you. I would have insisted on a date and been more upfront with my intentions before hopping in bed with a guy. Don't let yourself be used by someone. It's already emotional for you, so you need to dial down your feelings and create some distance from the situation. I was in this zone with a guy a while back. He told me he would hurt me but I decided to forgo any sensibility and hooked up with him. Of course he cut off contact and blew me off. Your hookup buddy just wants to have a warm body next to him; he doesn't do relationships. Listen to him and go NC. He's not going to change his mind and suddenly evolve to Prince Charming. I would stop texting him immediately. Don't hookup with him further. Focus on other things in your life. He's not going to fulfill you in the manner you would like. Allow yourself to be sad but move on and learn from it. Don't EVER settle for a FWB if you like him and want more. You'll only end up with heartbreak and resentment. Find someone who not only turns you on but treats you with the respect you deserve. Edited May 1, 2013 by ses
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I'm all for sex in unusual places but blowing a guy you barely know at work is not the way to entice him into a relationship. You need to step up the class and the quality you go after. I'd say generally it's not smart to chase men, especially when they tell you that they know you like them.
ChessPieceFace Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Why's this called "toy lover?" Anyway, you may have just set yourself up for an embarrassing life at work. Can't be sure, but it sounds like he may be a player type. If you'd given me a BJ at work, you can be assured I wouldn't be ignoring you.
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