Skipper888 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Hi guys, i was just wondering what actions would you consider moving on? Hanging out with girl/guy alone? Kissing a random guy/girl out clubbing? Sex with a random guy/girl? Texting a girl/guy? or even just forgetting about you ex? etc? be good to get an insight into what ppl consider moving on. I for one havent done any of these things.
all_cats_rgray Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Hanging out with girl/guy alone? You are can hang out with girl/guys alone when your in a relationship. So this does not count. Anyone that says you cannot hang out with a person of the opposite sex well you are in a relationship is controlling and insecure. Kissing a random guy/girl out clubbing? A good way to pick up mono. And you will feel worse about yourself. Sex with a random guy/girl? A good way to pick up a STD. AND you will feel really ****ty in the morning. Texting a girl/guy? Texting/ or to you mean Sexting. ... Really boring forplay. or even just forgetting about you ex? If your ex was important to you. You will never forget them. Getting over you ex. A significant time has passed. The longer the relationship the longer the passage of time is. You have to go through the stages of loss: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. BTW, they are never in order, and you can go backwards. ONE day you will be "Im over them"....then you see something that reminds them of you and your crying. Moving On/ Getting over them. DOES NOT involve other people. AKA another person to help you feel better. We call these and everything you stated Rebound relationship. They don't help, I know im talking to the wall when I say this. BUT no one has ever posted, I had sex with some new .. i'm over them...I made out with a girl..I'm over them. The posts I see go along the lines of. ITS been a LONG time since the break up. I have worked on being happy by myself. And I don't feel the same about my ex because I have had a hard long look at my past/ and are relationship. And realized it is not what I thought it was. Look at it like this. Remember how you felt when you where dumped. Scared, rejected, with no confidence. When you over come these feelings you will be over/moved on from your ex. Edited May 1, 2013 by all_cats_rgray 3
Author Skipper888 Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 thats how i feel at the moment, scared, rejected no confidence... i know im defs not over her.. we text every day and night and she calls me, yet i found out yesterday she kissed some random at a club about a month and a bit ago before we started reconciling. I don't know whether to let go or try and keep doing what we are doing.. but thats the thing i dont know what we are doing as she holds all the cards.
Rebecca1134 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 In my eyes, moving on is when you can see them with another boy or girl and not give a ****. 1
Kobe2345 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 In my eyes, moving on is when you can see them with another boy or girl and not give a ****. True that..... 1
D-Lish Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Moving on isn't really something anyone else can qualify for you. It has to be something you feel. You could go out and have sex with a hundred women and still not feel like you've moved on. Conversely, you could spend a lot of quiet nights at home alone, work through the tragedy of your loss internally, and achieve progress that way. What helps one person may not be the best way to move on for another. When you've moved on, it's just an intrinsic feeling that hits you. How people get there is often different, but the feeling of knowing you're there is always the same. 3
cavalier99 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Moving on isn't really something anyone else can qualify for you. It has to be something you feel. You could go out and have sex with a hundred women and still not feel like you've moved on. Conversely, you could spend a lot of quiet nights at home alone, work through the tragedy of your loss internally, and achieve progress that way. What helps one person may not be the best way to move on for another. When you've moved on, it's just an intrinsic feeling that hits you. How people get there is often different, but the feeling of knowing you're there is always the same. Great post! Exactly, you just feel it and know it. Cav
EmptyWalls Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Wow nice responses! I'm getting there!!!! I think once I'm not: thinking of her everyday upset that shes with someone. hoping she will call and hoping she will not. thinking of her coming back. realize it was for the best (which I do). I will be moved on. I accept her decision still love her and always will, but even I can feel its changed. I don't hate her, wish bad upon her, or even wish her new relationship will fail for my own benefit. I'm happy that shes happy. I wish her all the best and hope she finds true happiness. All while doing things I like to do, and things I need to do.
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 thats how i feel at the moment, scared, rejected no confidence... i know im defs not over her.. we text every day and night and she calls me, yet i found out yesterday she kissed some random at a club about a month and a bit ago before we started reconciling. I don't know whether to let go or try and keep doing what we are doing.. but thats the thing i dont know what we are doing as she holds all the cards. Oh, god, quit this. Texting night and morning does only one thing: Keeps ripping the stitches out and opening the gaping wound in your heart. You will never, ever, EVER be able to consider yourself as even BEGINNING to move on - until you cut off all Contact. What is it exactly you are 'trying' to do? Because if she goes off and kisses some random.... then, that's hardly 'trying' - is it? You're broken up. (in more ways than one....) Quit talking, quit texting, quit any form of connection to her - and that includes blocking/deleting facebook, deleting her off your phone, blocking all incoming - AND outgoing possibilities. Go No Contact. Read my signature. Do it. THAT _ Counts as 'moving on'. Anything else is just painful bullschytt. 1
Author Skipper888 Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 yeah ive./. tried doing that ive deleted her number several times and she has ended things twice with me.. She kissed a random guy before she started seeing me again she also asked too see what i was doing next weekend so we could hang out. But she has become cold again, I asked her if she had kissed anyone yesterday and she said yes.. that was followed by we need to be honest with each other to move forward.. which is true and i over reacted and so did she we both said our goodbyes and then she said if thats what you want that okay then i said its not what i want.. that was followed by a then a well lets not send a million msges in the heat of the moment.. She then told me she was taking an anti depressant which she has never done ever. Today she has been distant and short as well and very busy at work, but i havent done anything wrong and feel as though i have she just her trying to get control back i think. I know i need to go no contact but what if she is actually trying to and being cautious. We spent a weekend together with family 2 weeks ago which was perfect. But she had trips planned with her friends last weekend and this weekend. Its like trying to date someone from scratch except i have no game cause im still hurting
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I know i need to go no contact but what if she is actually trying to and being cautious. We spent a weekend together with family 2 weeks ago which was perfect. But she had trips planned with her friends last weekend and this weekend. Its like trying to date someone from scratch except i have no game cause im still hurting Actions speak louder than words. She's TELLING you she wants to try, but she's completely ACTING like she isn't. And if she's kissing other guys, krist man, this is all the indication you need that you're the 'Patsy' doormat-guy!! Please - for the sake of your own sanity - shut this down now, and go No Contact!! You're just being a masochist now. What are you scared to let go of? because from where we're standing, you're holding on to a frayed rope.... that's not actually tied to anything, at the other end....
Am4Real Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Agree...it's an eventual "State of Mind" Moving on isn't really something anyone else can qualify for you. It has to be something you feel. You could go out and have sex with a hundred women and still not feel like you've moved on. Conversely, you could spend a lot of quiet nights at home alone, work through the tragedy of your loss internally, and achieve progress that way. What helps one person may not be the best way to move on for another. When you've moved on, it's just an intrinsic feeling that hits you. How people get there is often different, but the feeling of knowing you're there is always the same.
CorridorE Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Moving on is simply when you can say to yourself honestly that you no longer want them in your life. It doesn't have to involve anyone else; it's just about you. It's when you can see a future for yourself that doesn't have your ex in it. Edited May 1, 2013 by CorridorE 1
Author Skipper888 Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 Actions speak louder than words. She's TELLING you she wants to try, but she's completely ACTING like she isn't. And if she's kissing other guys, krist man, this is all the indication you need that you're the 'Patsy' doormat-guy!! Please - for the sake of your own sanity - shut this down now, and go No Contact!! You're just being a masochist now. What are you scared to let go of? because from where we're standing, you're holding on to a frayed rope.... that's not actually tied to anything, at the other end.... Yeah, before she kissed that guy there was no talk of anything we were never getting back together, then the week after she did it she wanted to see me and hang out to see how we both felt so we could move forward. But your right i know that its the right decision, just i have doubt in my mind that its not.
TaraMaiden Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Please look intently at the No Contact Guide in my signature. The first post, is the Guide itself - an invaluable gem that providing you implement it as it should be - will save you prolonged heartache and a long, drawn-out, exhausting and debilitating recovery. Go with No Contact 100% - and stick with it. It makes the going so much easier - although there will be times when you'll be hard-pressed to believe that.... The remainder of the thread is generally from people who have, in various ways and for multiple reasons, wither been thinking of breaking NC - or have actually done so - much to their regret.
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