mimi25 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I have come here because I would truly appreciate some insight as to what I can do and how I should feel about this situation. First of all, I am 21 and he is 22, we attend college together, will move in together in a few months, and have been together for a little over a year. My boyfriend has some history with one of his friends who is a girl. He used to really like her in high school and during his first and second year in college but was continuously getting rejected by her (he told me this himself when we first started dating). He was crushed and he always tried to impress her and became very depressed for a bit about her not choosing him over other guys who were no good. I originally did not mind trying to hang out with her but things became kinda uncomfortable for me when he would get really upset when she would cancel on us last minute. In year we have been together, I have only met her once because she would always seem to have something come up and change her plans. Her boyfriend recently broke up with her and now she has free time and decided to go over to my boyfriend's apartment to hang out with him and his roommate. She spent all night there and left a bit before midnight. I was not okay with this. I was out of town. Apparently, she wanted to hang out with the two guys again this week but I told my boyfriend that I did not feel comfortable with this and did not want him to go this time since he spent so much time with her the other day and she only seems to come around when it is to her convenient. Also, she uses him whenever she needs a favor or needs boyfriend advice. I decided today to follow my heart and be honest. I told him that it bothered me for him to always want to hang out and seem to obsessive about this friend who is a girl he had liked so much. He got very angry and told me that I cannot choose his friends and will not stop hanging out with her the few times that she actually says yes because he does enjoy hanging out with her a lot. Also, that i insulted him and it is juvenile and irrational for me to be acting this way...but I think it is disrespectful to have this girl hang out in the apartment for hours and the way he acts when she texts or calls makes me feel uncomfortable. He says he is not going to see her again this week but then again I am not in town so there is not much I can do but trust him (which I honestly do). I also spoke to his best friend today and confided in him and told him about my situation and he agreed that his relationship with her has always been strange, that he strives to be her friend and impress her and he doesn't know why my boyfriend feels as if he was something to prove... Anyways, I need advice. I should I approach this? I already spoke my mind and he didn't agree with me and says I am being "crazy" and not trusting him. He doesn't understand that it is not a trust issue but rather that I do not feel comfortable with this because I think it disrespectful to try to hang out with someone so much that he used to like and who only shows up whenever it is convenient for her and she needs him...
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