one of the guys.

[FaithInTheDark]

I have always been one of the guys, Im a real girl with friends that are predominately male. I do talk like a guy alot , i swear too much, i drink beer and love hiphop. I do have a girly side and dress feminine and wear make up. I seem to always fall into the friendship zone and never had any relationship last over 4 months!....i am abit on the heavier side but do get complaments on my looks...

Theres this Guy i know and We hit it off so well, We act like bro and sis but deep down i realized how much i like him. He hooked up with a friend of mine recently and it kinda sucks. I want him to look at me more than just friends. I really want guys to look at me more than one of the guys but still remain true to myself.

Do guys just like girly girls? How can i break away fm this? Im sick of being single.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Your type is not the most appealing to men unfortunately.

 

Yes, men prefer women who are feminine and skinny, and it is typically a strong preference. And the reality is often times the men are not studly studs themselves but expect a feminine woman nonetheless.

 

This is one of those things where some people may feel it is changing who they are to appeal to the opposite sex, but at the same time there certain factors between men and women...some things that work, and somethings that typically do not.

 

Acting like a guy, swearing a lot, drinking a lot and partying it up, is not the most favorable light for a woman, it puts you in the category a short-term fling (if that) or fun time girl by a lot of men, but not someone you want to take seriously, even though the guys along with you are partying it up with you. Not many guys are going to want to bring a girl that acts like a bar wench home to momma, that's just the bob honest truth.

 

A guy doesn't mind a girl who knows how to mingle with the guys and get along, but you don't want to be amongst the guys and on their level, you have to draw the line somewhere. Guys like being guys, and like guys being guys ultimately, not women. You swearing a lot is just classless, It's fine to swear but overdoing it puts you a distasteful category...men may find it humorous but it's not appealing, even for men to do. Drinking is fine as long as you don't overdo it too and keep it under contorl, once you start waving your arms in the air, talking way too loud, opening your legs and flashing the outline of your beat up vagina through your spandex pants, while cursing f this and that...that's not typically going to scream relationship material to most men.

 

The way you carry yourself is going to be the strong attracting quality to men. You need to separate yourself from men and draw a distinctive line of how they are supposed to treat you versus other men, once men just see you as one of the guys or just a girls guy most are going to just stick around because they can talk to you and get along, but won't feel that romantic spark. You've got to be able to bring the femininity to the table, that's what you offer as a woman, something different, why would acting the same like one of the boys be appealing to men when he can just hang out with them? he's already got that part of his life, so what do you add to it? it's not different and obviously men aren't attracting to the behavior of men. If you act like a guy with a vagina, sure they'll sleep with you and touch your boobies, but in the end they'll be turned off because ultimately you remind them of.....a guy.

 

I know a lot of this can make you feel very insecure, but look, you've sought comfort in men because like many other women who do, because you can relate to them and their easier to get along with. And that's fine, but you can't maintain that level of interaction with them if you want those same men to find you appealing, you have to be able act like a lady, and not like a man. Make-up and girly clothes only go so far, i could put a spring dress on and a bow in damn hair but I'm pretty sure nobody is going to buy that!

 

I think for you you need to remind these guys that you are a woman, I think you need to embrace your femininity and be comfortable with it. Try to hang out with women you find to be sane, and also think about your lifestyle, are these even the kind of guys you want to attract and be around, these run-around types? I know you're likely young but you don't build a house over nite, if you want to start appealing to men you need to carry yourself like a lady at least in some way shape or form, you need to act like what you want men to perceive you as, don't let them talk to you like a man, draw boundaries, tell them what is not ok, men like to be scolded and put in their place so do it.

 

It's not about changing who you are, it's about branching out into other facets of who you are as a whole person, do you really think that at this age and this point of your life that this is all that you are and who you become? I guarantee if you try you will surprise yourself...and likely the rest of your life, there's always ways of growing and that automatically induces change, but not away from who you are but into the greater person of who you are trying to be. Just make sure you change for yourself and not for men, ultimately there is rules to the "dating game" but know when it's time to play and it's time to be yourself, and that takes practice.

[Archgirl]

I'm totally one of the guys too but still look like a girl and I've never had a problem attracting guys or relationships. As far as I can tell most guys love a strong goodlooking woman who can give as good as she gets, doesn't mind getting dirty but can still rock heels and a cocktail dress.

 

Four months is not a long time to be without a boyf.

 

And now and again some guys just don't like you that way, you just move on and find the ones that do. Poor them. They are really freakin missing out.

 

Or it could be that he doesn't look at you as a casual hook-up and he still isn't old enough to have worked out that the chicks you can talk to and have fun with are the ones to hang on to.

 

Personal question but how overweight are you - I'm trying to work out if you aren't taking care of yourself or if you are a perfectly healthy curvy teenage girl with those awful body insecurities we are all plagued by at that stage ( you are in your teens right?)