naomii Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Today is NC day 4. I keep going back and forth between being happy and extremely upset. I will admit, I havent been sticking to NC the way i should. I texted him on day 1, but for a legitimate reason. I needed to know what he had done with something in my apartment as I could not find it, so I asked him, he responded and that was that. I also had joined the dating site he was on, and while it'd be nice to talk and meet new guys, I'm no where near ready and mostly joined to stalk him (although he stalked me too, and also stalks my facebook. I cant see his as his is private). I deleted my dating site profile yesterday. The less I know about what he's up to, the better i feel. I've already made changes in my life the past four days. I've quit smoking cigarettes (he knew i was quitting and decided to break up with me two days before, so i'm shocked that i still did it), and I have an interview for a job I really, really want on Thursday. I feel like he was holding me back in a lot of ways, and he was. He was using me. He hasn't had a job in the past 4-5 months due to charges he had against him. Guess who paid for pretty much everything we did together? (Yep, me). He used his friends/mother for alcohol and food, too, always bumming off of them, so I dont feel as bad. He told me he didnt mean to use me and that's why he wants to end it because he knows he cant be the boyfriend i deserve. He said he has feelings for me and i'm everything he's looking for in a girl, but because of all the bad things that have happened (legal situations), he doesn't see us working out unless we have time between us (1-2 months atleast). He said he feels like he's slapping his mother in the face every time he sees me because she was there for him during the legal problems we had (she paid his rent and fed him while he was unable to work due to charges that eventually were dropped), and she thinks i'm a psycho (although she doesnt know the real story). My family isn't too fond of him either. He feels that since he's the only guy i've ever loved, that I should go out and make sure he's what I even want in a guy. We spent the last year "together" and have known eachother for three. He says even if we don't end up together in the end, he'd still like to be friends in the future. Funny how he doesn't have job and isn't "able" to be a boyfriend or even support himself, yet he's on a dating site. He tried to reassure me that he has no luck on said site (which is somewhat true, most guys on that site have no luck, but still why would you look for someone else when you cant even support yourself?). He told me he also made it because he knew i'd find it and figured I wouldnt want to hang out with him anymore if he was on it so that we'd be forced to take time away from eachother (he seems to think we really need it). He may be right, but I hope he realizes that once too much time has passed, I will be over him and moved on for good, which is my goal right now. To him, this is a "break". To me, this is a break up.
Author naomii Posted May 2, 2013 Author Posted May 2, 2013 (edited) I feel like a fool for letting you back in to break my heart yet again... He showed up at my door the other night, telling me he missed me. I stupidly let him stay over. I asked him to delete his dating profiles. It was like pulling teeth. I knew he didnt want to delete them and that he just wanted to see if he still had me. Instead of deleting one, he deactivated it but can still use it to message people. And the other he is still active on although he told me he doesnt use it. I told him to never show up at my place again since he wants to see other people still. I'm hurt all over again... NC day one. Edited May 2, 2013 by naomii
Author naomii Posted May 3, 2013 Author Posted May 3, 2013 NC day two. The last thing i said to him before we stopped talking was "user". He never replied to that, because he knows thats what he is. He knows he's worthless and doesn't have the capacity to make ANY woman happy. I take comfort in knowing that his ex girlfriends also have said that he's dark, cold, and manipulative. Glad to know it wasn't just me that he was a complete ******* to. Things I wont miss: -Implying that i'm stupid all the time while he boasts about how intelligent he is. -His behavior when he gets extremely drunk (which happened most of the time). -Him talking to other women behind my back and trying to deny/hide it. -Him never having money to do anything because he thinks he's too good to work at a job like McDonalds, so he rather be flat out broke while he waits for a good job that most likely wont hire him anyway. If they do, he wont be able to keep it like his other 3 jobs last year. -Him hiding me from his family. -How cold he gets during an argument. He tells me to "**** off" and usually kicks me out of his place, then comes running back a few days later. -He's a habitual liar. I think that's good for now. I'm feeling pretty good today and optimistic. I know no one is reading this lol but that's okay. It feels good to vent. 2
ViciousCycle Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 This guy sounds like a giant tool. I know how he has treated you may not seem absolutely atrocious, but all those characteristics you listed are very strong signs that he isn't suitable for you or anyone else. I know NC is extremely hard, and I broke it several times. I can tell you that it gets better. Connect with yourself and who you were before him. Stop thinking for him. You're right, it's a break up and a blessing for you.
youngnlove89 Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 So after reading your thread, I have to say our ex's are extremely different. Sure, both of commitment issues, but yours is just a complete jerk! He doesn't treat you well. Kicking you out, putting you down, talking to girls behind your back, too lazy to work, tells you to f.ck off...and on top of that can't commit! You deserve more. Trust me, I know how hard it is to walk away. Maybe you need to write him a letter...let him know that he needs to respect your decision to walk away and move on. He is a tool. 1
Author naomii Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 oh, i wasnt sure if your ex was mean to you or not. i read most of your posts but not all. i meant they were the same as in they wont let us move on! but yes, my ex is a jerk and i cant wrap my mind around why i love someone like him! (i guess because i fell in love before his true personality appeared)
Author naomii Posted May 4, 2013 Author Posted May 4, 2013 This guy sounds like a giant tool. I know how he has treated you may not seem absolutely atrocious, but all those characteristics you listed are very strong signs that he isn't suitable for you or anyone else. I know NC is extremely hard, and I broke it several times. I can tell you that it gets better. Connect with yourself and who you were before him. Stop thinking for him. You're right, it's a break up and a blessing for you. you are right! he will never make ANY woman happy and deep down he is a very, very unhappy person.
GI_Joy Posted May 4, 2013 Posted May 4, 2013 Ick, scum. I'm sorry you had to deal with him, it's a shame. I hope you remember what has been discussed in this thread every time you feel that you miss him. He doesn't deserve to be missed.
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