lilablue Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I met a guy at work and we dated for a while. However, we broke up because of communication problems. He left the area to go to grad school and I did a no contact with him for a month. I contacted him after the month by email. He responded casually. So, I sent another email and he really opened up to me and told me that he had thought of me and that I probably felt his vibe. I responded that I must have felt it because he had been on my mind. Now what should I do to get him back since I dumped him and now he is in another state going to grad school. Help?? I have not heard from since our email exchange last week. Should I wait for him to reach out??? Thanks
Breathe Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 If you broke up with him and now you want him back - just tell him. You made a mistake and you want another chance. If you sit and wait for him to contact you then you may be waiting a long while as you were the one that dumped him and not the other way around. Don't play the games, just cut to the point and tell him how you feel and go from there.
Author lilablue Posted September 22, 2004 Author Posted September 22, 2004 Thank you. However, do you think it is wise for me to send him an e-card first to continue to break the ice?
WantanS4 Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Uhh... no.... a phone call would do... Even better... GO SEE HIM IN PERSON!
Author lilablue Posted September 22, 2004 Author Posted September 22, 2004 Thanks, I so scared that I will appear needy. Below is his reply to my email: God does answer prayers. AMEN! I thank and praise God often, but it's between us (God and I). Thanks for keeping me in your prayers. That's the most anyone could do for me. I'm not really stressed, just a bit humbled. I hope all is going well with you. I've thought about you. Maybe you felt my vibration What do you think???
WantanS4 Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 I never understood what 'needy' meant in terms of a relationship. I think it's BS term. See.... the basic nature of 'american' relationships is that each person (man/woman) is their own person... and that the relationship is a union of individuals...... but in reality... in my mind a relationship should be (when people actually LOVE each other.. not just care for each other).... there are no individuals...... just one. So if he thinks your needy... or your affraid to be needy.... then you probably don't LOVE him... if that's the case... then drop it. There are no individuals (i.e. i have my friends... you have your own.. i want my things.. you have yours...) in a REAL LOVE relationship... there can only be a ONE.. together..... 'if you get cut... i bleed' type of thing. If you/he think needy is a bad thing... then you guys are in 'so-called' relationship.... and there is no real love.
Author lilablue Posted September 22, 2004 Author Posted September 22, 2004 Thanks for your comments. I dont want to appear pushy. I know men like their space and love the pursuit. Who knows?
WantanS4 Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 Wow..... I know men like their space and love the pursuit. No... more like men are programmed to believe they 'need' space.... and they HAVE TOO 'pursuit'....... i'm the complete opposite.... i must be a bad piece or something..... bottomline... if he wants you.. he'll take you anyway you come... i mean go that is........ if not... wait... best things come to those who wait...
Author lilablue Posted September 22, 2004 Author Posted September 22, 2004 Thanks again. This guy is away in fl and in law school. I dont want to appear anxious like when he was working in my home state. I think I will send him an e-card to see whats new with him. I think I should be patient and try being his friend and not trying to go the same route of being a pest. I would constantly ask him what he thought of "us". I liked the fact that he is finally opening up to me. I need to show him that I appreciate and support him.
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