Leegh Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 After a break-up, do people find that they get closure more quickly if they see an old boyfriend/girlfriend and talk about things for an hour or so, or if they don't see the person ever again? I'm not talking about dating the person again, but just meeting at a restaurant or something for a final time. Most people want to move on with their lives, and want to make peace with the end of a relationship. What is the best way for closure?
Waz Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 The real closure can only happen in your mind. You already know the facts that are needed for now: The relationship is over. That's the only thing you can know. You figure out the rest, when the time passes and you can think more clearly and less emotionally. Then, you can see the reasons on your own without talking with the ex. 2
mbee Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 It depends why you want closure and how things ended. Just yesterday I met up with my ex and it helped me. I had concerns he was emotionally cheating on me with a married woman (which he was) and the real reasons why he wanted to break up (which he told me even if I disagree). Also the last time we saw each other, we were both upset, angry and emotional. He came over, had a serious conversation with me and even thinks he'll regret it. We laid together while he hugged me (nothing intimate happened) and told me what he thought of our relationship and how much he missed me. Getting that last time does make me feel better. At least I can say we weren't an emotional wreck and I got the answers to some questions, even if it was tough. Here's to no contact and trying to see some silver lining in the future. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Well, a last meetup may work for some, but I think it is a bad idea in general. You won't get any closure even if they answer some questions you might have. Who knows if they are even telling the truth or not. And most answers will just lead to more questions. You will be spinning in circles and feeling worse. Much, much worse!!! On the other hand, NC will help you gain insight through clarity. And after a while, you will understand and know everything you need to in order to heal and move on. Just my two cents...
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