Bluewaves188 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 So I met a girl on a dating site and we messaged eachother for about a month. She initiated the messaging saying we had similar interests. For one, we are both grad students and working so we both have very busy schedules. So we messaged eachother every day and eventually moved to texts. She eventually asked if we could meet and we went out to see an exhibit at the musuem and had dinner/ drinks after. It was a lot of fun with good conversation and laughter. No kiss, but a good hug. She texted me right after the date saying how much fun it was and would love to do it again. I have to admit I was nervous, yet I was confident on the date as she is the cutest girl have gone out with. We texted eachother throughout the week and we both had our birthdays coming up. She works the weekends sometimes and she managed to get someone to take her shift for a Saturday so we could get together again. She even went to the extent of dropping her dogs off at her parents for the weekend and then took it step further and bought really good seats to a major league baseball game for us. She even said pick out some horror movies for the evening. We had a great day at the game and flirted with each other. We walked along the river and I showed her around downtown. We went back to her place and watch a couple of movies and have a couple of beers. (NO we werent drunk or tipsy.) She put her legs on my lap during the movie and cuddled with me. I knew she wanted me to kiss her and I did. We made out and she started to get really into it. She told me I could stay the night and we took it to the bedroom. We had sex. It felt great. We spooned until we fell asleep and then cuddled and small talked in the morning. She had to work that day so she got ready for work. Now here is why I'm confused. She said she had a great time the day before and said her week was going to be crazy busy with her birthday dinner with friends one night and parents the other, school and work. She mentioned a few nights we could to do something or maybe a day date next weekend. We hugged goodbye (firm, tight and strong hug) and maybe we were both a little shy to go in for a kiss as it was the morning after and I'm sure our minds were full of questions. Later that day I sent a photo text of a few horses as I was photographing a Horse Expo and that I hope she was having a good day. Never got a reply back. The next day was her birthday so I sent a Happy Birthday text and told her I had a great time over the weekend and that she should let me know when she could go out again. She did reply back and said "Thank you :)". She felt short as she used to ask how my day was going pre second date. Now I feel like she isnt interested anymore or maybe she is just busy. I dont plan on reaching out again. Do girls reply back if they are not interested anymore? What to do?
Jane2011 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 This is bizarre. If I were you, I'd send a text asking directly (doesn't have to be heavy), just a basic: "Hey, are you feeling ok about things? You up for hanging out more?" Then, if she doesn't reply to that, you have your answer. But I wouldn't assume just yet that she's not interested. She seemed to be pursuing you in the beginning, and she did answer the later text. I'd say things don't look great for you, though. If I'm interested in a guy, I answer all his texts and fairly quickly. 1
Jane2011 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Actually, I read more of what you wrote (what you said to her in the text). The ball's in her court, really. You could text a final time or not....
Maneater Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Girls normally do text more BUT sometimes people really are just busy. I would wait a couple more days then text her and just directly ask her out again. If she still says no and doesn't offer to reschedule then sorry she's probably not interested.
FlyerFan54 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Now this is bizarre... It's possible though that she did NOT get the text with the horse photo. A while back I was talking with a girl I met through OLD and she never got a text from me. I never said another word, figuring she lost interest. A week she sent me a message saying she was bummed that I never asked her out. I had to take a snapshot of my phone and send it to her to show her I wasn't blowing her off. Anyway, I digress. If it was her birthday she was probably tied up, but right now I would give her a little room. You guys hung out all the day prior, and you should have let her come to you. She mentioned she was going to be busy, so you don't want to press the issue. Jane is right though, the ball is in her court. Let her come to you. If you don't contact her for a few days, she'll start to wonder what's going on, and will contact you. The key is right now is to remain patient and keep your mind off of it. Since the ball is in her court, it's her turn to play or go home. I wouldn't worry though...by the way you describe the time you had...I'm sure you'll hear something.
Larry Walker Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 STOP texting her. Give her a chance to miss you. Ignore the above advice about sending her a text asking her "if you are "OK". That is terrible advice. You need to disappear for awhile and let her miss you. Give her a call in a few days and stop acting needy or she WILL lose interest.
mesmerized Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Yeah, she probably has lost interest. I don't know why poeple here are finding it bizarre. Maybe she didn't enjoy the sex with him. Just because it felt great for him doesn't mean it felt great for her!
MidwestUSA Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Yeah, she probably has lost interest. I don't know why poeple here are finding it bizarre. Maybe she didn't enjoy the sex with him. Just because it felt great for him doesn't mean it felt great for her! The truth! Never underestimate a woman's ability to fake it (not just orgasms, but the whole experience). She may be feeling some regret. And, really, too "shy" to kiss the morning after? After having had yours mouths all over each other? What better statement to make it appear to be just a ONS. Edited May 1, 2013 by MidwestUSA
pbjbear Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I think she is just not interested. Its too hard to tell based on the Internet why.
Jane2011 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 STOP texting her. Give her a chance to miss you. Ignore the above advice about sending her a text asking her "if you are "OK". That is terrible advice. You need to disappear for awhile and let her miss you. Give her a call in a few days and stop acting needy or she WILL lose interest. I don't think it's terrible advice to ask her directly what the deal is (if he really wants to know, assuming she's willing to answer). Of course, it's not the "smoothest" / "most cool" thing to do. The more slick thing is to just sit back and wait, in true "I don't care too much" fashion. But I'm assuming the OP doesn't want a woman who even needs him to do things like that in order to be interested. Who wants a person who is interested only when you ignore them a bit? A woman who's actually interested in him will miss him from the get-go after they've had sex. If she needs him to go away for days at a time in order to be interested, he might as well just know sooner rather than later whether she's interested. Plus, my advice didn't say "Are you okay?" It said, "Are you okay about things?" It's not asking for her general well-being. It's asking if she's still up for hanging out. Asking "how are you feeling about things?" isn't that unusual for people whose last date included sex, as we all know that things can get weird or delicate at that point. I understand where you're coming from by saying what I said is bad advice. But...it just depends on how much you want to play mind-games with people and have them think you're all "smooth" and "I don't care" or not. Women like men who like them. They're not always dying for the guy who appears not to give a damn. Sure, human beings in general (men and women alike) can be a little intrigued by a person who's out of reach. But it is not the case that a guy who is attractive enough to a woman in his own right HAS to act aloof in order to keep her interest. If you have to do this at all times, there is a problem with the social situations you're choosing, or you're really in sort of "middle ground" territory with her in general. Because if she's actually excited about you, she's texting back right away and/or prolonging text conversations even if just a little. Normal people, when they have a good time on dates, follow-up fairly quickly after and start seeing each other. Normal people don't want someone who doesn't want them. That said, to the OP, certainly it could be that you disappointed her with sex. For some reason. If that's the case, though, and she liked you otherwise, I think she's acting prematurely. I've had some of the best sex of my life with guys who, the first time we did it, it TOTALLY sucked. It could well be that she really just doesn't know this. And if she doesn't, that's a damn shame...
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I blame the horses....once she saw the difference in penis size from the horse compared to you, she was clearly disappointed. 2
mesmerized Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I blame the horses....once she saw the difference in penis size from the horse compared to you, she was clearly disappointed. I blame you. She must have had you as a lover before or this wouldn't have happened
scorpio1978 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I wouldn't say she didn't enjoy sex with you, the first time can be weird for both people, especially so soon without really knowing a whole lot. Don't let mean people say that it's because she didn't have fun. I highly doubt that was it. It sounds like she is just busy, but I agree with giving her space. Let her come to you.
Larry Walker Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 What is with all of the over analyzation? Of course she is interested, she let you stick your dick in her. The problem here is SHE TOLD YOU SHE IS GOING TO BE BUSY. Why are you contacting her if she told you she is busy? Back off and she will come.
Larry Walker Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 I don't think it's terrible advice to ask her directly what the deal is (if he really wants to know, assuming she's willing to answer). Of course, it's not the "smoothest" / "most cool" thing to do. The more slick thing is to just sit back and wait, in true "I don't care too much" fashion. But I'm assuming the OP doesn't want a woman who even needs him to do things like that in order to be interested. Who wants a person who is interested only when you ignore them a bit? A woman who's actually interested in him will miss him from the get-go after they've had sex. If she needs him to go away for days at a time in order to be interested, he might as well just know sooner rather than later whether she's interested. Plus, my advice didn't say "Are you okay?" It said, "Are you okay about things?" It's not asking for her general well-being. It's asking if she's still up for hanging out. Asking "how are you feeling about things?" isn't that unusual for people whose last date included sex, as we all know that things can get weird or delicate at that point. I understand where you're coming from by saying what I said is bad advice. But...it just depends on how much you want to play mind-games with people and have them think you're all "smooth" and "I don't care" or not. Women like men who like them. They're not always dying for the guy who appears not to give a damn. Sure, human beings in general (men and women alike) can be a little intrigued by a person who's out of reach. But it is not the case that a guy who is attractive enough to a woman in his own right HAS to act aloof in order to keep her interest. If you have to do this at all times, there is a problem with the social situations you're choosing, or you're really in sort of "middle ground" territory with her in general. Because if she's actually excited about you, she's texting back right away and/or prolonging text conversations even if just a little. Normal people, when they have a good time on dates, follow-up fairly quickly after and start seeing each other. Normal people don't want someone who doesn't want them. That said, to the OP, certainly it could be that you disappointed her with sex. For some reason. If that's the case, though, and she liked you otherwise, I think she's acting prematurely. I've had some of the best sex of my life with guys who, the first time we did it, it TOTALLY sucked. It could well be that she really just doesn't know this. And if she doesn't, that's a damn shame... I'm sorry but are you a woman? Please stop giving advice to men. Women don't even know what they want. You tell him to send that text, but it's really a turn off.
RedRobin Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 meh... sex wasn't that great and/or she might be thinking that you aren't 'relationship material' for some reason.
jw123 Posted May 2, 2013 Posted May 2, 2013 Didn't kiss the morning after having sex? I doubt it's going anywhere. The only times I have done that is when I regretted it the next morning for whatever reason. Call her up and ask her on another date, if you're interested. Call! Don't text. It's both more manly and less likely to leave you in the dark about her intentions.
AlexDP Posted May 3, 2013 Posted May 3, 2013 Yeah, she probably has lost interest. I don't know why poeple here are finding it bizarre. Maybe she didn't enjoy the sex with him. Just because it felt great for him doesn't mean it felt great for her! I don't know. I've only had good sex when the other party enjoyed it too..
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