Author tuxedo cat Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 I feel relieved but also have this sinking feeling. It will probably go away eventually. I just wish my phone would disappear right now.
Star Gazer Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I said: "There is no "us" to talk about. I want to be with someone who has the strength to be direct and honor his commitments. Take care." Bravo! I know you're second guessing yourself; that's natural for you, particularly given that you hadn't ended it sooner. But you did the right thing. 2
Minneloa Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I said: "There is no "us" to talk about. I want to be with someone who has the strength to be direct and honor his commitments. Take care." Well-done, TC. I know that you are feeling anxious right now, but I predict that you are ultimately going to feel proud and empowered. Way to take control of this situation! Sending good thoughts. M. 3
Author tuxedo cat Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I'm sure I wouldn't have done it without you on my case. I still feel pretty anxious, though. I'm afraid to look at my phone. Maybe I'll just keep it off for the rest of the night. 1
anna121 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I'm sure I wouldn't have done it without you on my case. I still feel pretty anxious, though. I'm afraid to look at my phone. Maybe I'll just keep it off for the rest of the night. That sounds like a great idea. 2
tbf Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I'm sure I wouldn't have done it without you on my case. I still feel pretty anxious, though. I'm afraid to look at my phone. Maybe I'll just keep it off for the rest of the night.Treasa and SG pushed you hard where this was a good move, not because of any preemptive rejection reasons to save your pride but because the dude was a total dud. Even his stupid delaying of "we need to talk" was just another example of what a weirdo he is. Moderate eccentricity is fine. Loopy and selfish are not. 4
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I said: "There is no "us" to talk about. I want to be with someone who has the strength to be direct and honor his commitments. Take care." Good job, Girl!!!!! Yay! 1
spiderowl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) "Is there a way I could suggest we speak over the phone instead? He seems to be rather stubborn about doing things his way and I'm concerned if I ask he will dig his heels in." You can actually do whatever you like in this situation. It's your heart at stake. If you don't want to meet him for a 'let's talk' talk, then tell him. If you think he's going to break up with you, then why wait around to let him do it. I've been through that scenario myself and now I'd know the warning signs. If someone told me they needed to talk, they wouldn't get that talk. I'd avoid them and tell them I didn't want to meet if that's the way things were going. I noticed that a sign that someone was about to break up with me (not that it's happened much!) is that they start saying really nice things about you a week beforehand. For example, "I really admire the way you go out to work and still look after your son." "I think you are a very talented person." And even "I love you." I think this happens because deep down they are coming to the conclusion they need to break up and yet they are still arguing with themselves rationally and trying to deny the rising guilt, effectively telling themselves "How can you possibly be thinking of breaking up with someone who works so hard and is so caring about her son?" Edited April 30, 2013 by spiderowl
tbf Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I noticed that a sign that someone was about to break up with me (not that it's happened much!) is that they start saying really nice things about you a week beforehand. For example, "I really admire the way you go out to work and still look after your son." "I think you are a very talented person." And even "I love you." I think this happens because deep down they are coming to the conclusion they need to break up and yet they are still arguing with themselves rationally and trying to deny the rising guilt, effectively telling themselves "How can you possibly be thinking of breaking up with someone who works so hard and is so caring about her son?"She's already broken up with him. As far as the above being indicative of a break up, not necessarily. You'll find different people react different ways, where the majority emotionally withdraw. But the overarching theme in most cases is that they break their normal pattern of behaviours. This is why people can usually sense an impending break up. 1
Treasa Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I'm so proud of you!! The more I heard about him, the less I liked him. And yes, I was pushy. He was a HUGE dud. 5
sillyanswer Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I sent it about twenty minutes ago and then I shut off my phone. Well done at last. 2
salparadise Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Y'all are so convincing you got me thinking about texting a breakup message to my gf, and she's a sweetheart!
Author tuxedo cat Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 Well, I still haven't looked at my phone. I'm surprisingly calm, considering. I feel a bit wired, though. Just took a couple benadryl and waiting for the relaxation to hit me.
Art_Critic Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I said: "There is no "us" to talk about. I want to be with someone who has the strength to be direct and honor his commitments. Take care." The Take Care makes it final... I used to groan when a woman used that, I always knew it was over... 2
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 He just told me that he wants to delay meeting until next week. I responded that he's leaving me hanging in suspense and that if it's something upsetting I would rather discuss it now. He wrote back: "It's nothing bad I just wanted to talk about us!" This is bullsh*t. He is being so evasive. You did the right thing by sending that text. What an inconsiderate idiot.
Emilia Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 It's gonna be hilarious when it turns out this guy was totally into her, and things were a little wonky with him because he liked her so much and she made him nervous and he could just see an amazing future with her, but it will never happen, since she dumped him via text message because some people on the internet told her to. Holy sh*t. I'd say you would have breaken up with this person after the 'I have herpes' text. Or did you miss that part.
MidwestUSA Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I said: "There is no "us" to talk about. I want to be with someone who has the strength to be direct and honor his commitments. Take care." Simple and to the point, awesome. So sorry it didn't work out, but happy you were strong enough to do this.
MidwestUSA Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 It's gonna be hilarious when it turns out this guy was totally into her, and things were a little wonky with him because he liked her so much and she made him nervous and he could just see an amazing future with her, but it will never happen, since she dumped him via text message because some people on the internet told her to. Holy sh*t. Or he informs her that his test result was a false positive, and there is no need for condoms. 1
Treasa Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Or he informs her that his test result was a false positive, and there is no need for condoms. Which he could do over text. Instead of saying, "We need to tlak," and then when she tells him she's anxious, he snaps at her, is cold, and reschedules. Not to mention the sexual hangups, the rescheduling multiple times.. Nah, the STD thing was just the icing on the cake. This guy is an *******.
MidwestUSA Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Which he could do over text. Instead of saying, "We need to tlak," and then when she tells him she's anxious, he snaps at her, is cold, and reschedules. Not to mention the sexual hangups, the rescheduling multiple times.. Nah, the STD thing was just the icing on the cake. This guy is an *******. Agree completely. The "we need to talk" reminds me of my boss at work "I need you in my office after lunch". No, I want to know NOW! If I'm getting fired, just do it! 3
Treasa Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Agree completely. The "we need to talk" reminds me of my boss at work "I need you in my office after lunch". No, I want to know NOW! If I'm getting fired, just do it! Ha, right??
BluEyeL Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I wonder how TC is feeling today. I didn't intervene because everyone else was so articulate.
MidwestUSA Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I wonder how TC is feeling today. I didn't intervene because everyone else was so articulate. Says the one who made me look up "asymptotic"! 2
Treasa Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I'm wondering how she's doing, too. And my contribution yesterday can be summarized by two words: "DO EET!"
ChessPieceFace Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 It's gonna be hilarious when it turns out this guy was totally into her, and things were a little wonky with him because he liked her so much and she made him nervous and he could just see an amazing future with her, but it will never happen, since she dumped him via text message because some people on the internet told her to. Holy sh*t. Well put. And whether it was or wasn't true in this particular case is irrelevant. What's relevant is that this forum has a plague of people coming out of the woodwork telling people to end their relationships and not having the faintest clue the damage they're potentially doing to people's lives. I've thought about having a signature with a warning about this. To at least try to minimize the damage done by fools who would wreck people's relationships over the internet because they think it's fun and exciting. 1
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