forgetmenot75 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) I was NC with my OM. I'm actually separated from my H, was married at the time of the A. After 10 days aprox. of NC, my OM sent me a text, and I replied the next day. Then we talked on the phone, he was very affectionate. We met the next day. Everything was perfect, he was very caring. We talked and he said this was temporary for him. and that I should try not to think too much. After much thinking, later on that day, I decided not to continue with him. I don't want to see it as temporary. Besides, he's still looking on dating sites. Actually, he never stopped looking in the 4 months that the A lasted. He's single. So, I sent him a text the same night we met, asking how was he doing. No reply. Next day (Wednesday last week) I sent him another text saying I wanted to end it. He replied 3 hours later saying that he was sick and sleeping (?) and that if we were going to do the "end thing" again. I replied yes, that I didn't want to be with someone who thinks of me as "temporary". I wish him good luck and to take care. NO REPLY. (why he woulndt even say bye to me?? He told me I was important for him once...well) Sunday he visited my profile on an internet site we both visit. I couldn't refrain, and visited his profile (we know who visits the profiles), and "liked" one of his pics. He then, 15 min later, signed in and liked ALL my pics. That was yesterday. I did nothing. I love him, but I cant stand he doesn't take me serious. I deserve better, and its his lost. Why is he still looking for me online, but he doesn't talk to me, or try to connect? I visited my profile on AM and also saw he's being active, after long time, and he has changed his profile picture there. I don't know what to do. I love him very much, I miss him... Edited April 30, 2013 by forgetmenot75
HonestNeurotic Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Anyone active on AM is obviously not ready to be in any kind of committed relationship. They're still "looking". Single guys on AM are looking for only married women so as to not have a commitment. IMHO - as always.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Yes, this was always an issue with him. He's been hurt a lot in the past, and now he can't commit to a serious relationship. He told me this several times. As I posted in my first thread, he told me that he will never get attached to me, and in case he gets attached, he will never admit it.
Spark1111 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 So here is the question you need to ask yourself..... Why are you attracted to a man who will not, cannot commit to a relationship with you or any other woman? Why do you love this unavailable man? is it because you CAN'T HAVE him? We all have different attachment styles and if you attach to a man who won't commit.....if you perceive being ignored as love....then you will have a life of heart ache and loneliness. being curious about your FB pics in NO WAY signifies anything of any real importance. Move on and try to get some counseling. You may not recognize or appreciate a good guy knocking on your door IF you will always be most attracted to the unavailable, distant man who does not or can not do real emotional intimacy with a life partner. 3
Author forgetmenot75 Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 I'm done with him. I created a fake profile on am, he talked to me last night and wanted to have sex. When asked why he was there and what was he looking for he said he's in love with one woman but that she's not ready to jump in with him (that's true, he also told me that). He added he's not dating or in a relationship and that he was tired of having to play with himself. I don't care anymore. He didn't even mentioned me. We've having sex each week, he might think our "relationship" is not worth it to mention. F*** him, I'm so mad this time. I know he's single, I broke with him last week, he can do whatever he wants, but yes it hurts. He sent me a message yesterday Saying he was horny, I didn't reply, nor I will. I was very clear with him in that I didn't want to see us as temporary. Now he's desperately seeking for sex everywhere. He won't find it with me, I'm so much better, and I deserve better. I feel sad for him, I think he's a rat. 2
Author forgetmenot75 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 The painful truth I didn't want to know. He clarified me this: -he has not feelings whatsoever for me (and it's been almost 5 months we started seeing each other! oh well...) -He just like me, and want to stay like this (having only sex) -He is only looking for sex because he's in love with a woman who's flirting with him, but never had anything. Today I am feeling drained again. I am no contact with him again. I only hope he won't contact me either, because that's the hardest part, not answering. Last week he contacted me, and I replied, thinking I was strong, but I was wrong. I don't want to have anything to do with this loser. I am feeling guilty for the first time in months. I am feeling guilty because I had this stupid relationship with someone who never cared for me while I was with my ex husband, who loved me very much. I made a lot of mistakes, I am feeling very down right now.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted May 6, 2013 Author Posted May 6, 2013 I think what hurts the most is the feeling of not being loved, and also the feeling that the hope is over. It's really hard.
Author forgetmenot75 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 I am quite stressed right now. Besides the feeling that he doesn't love, and never will, I had to do some testings to discard STD'S and I'm waiting for the results. He told me he was only with me, yet I can't believe him a word. I think he is immature (and he's 42 yo...) I found myself following him in this crazy story. It's been 5 days NC already, and I only want to forget. It's hard though, he sent me mixed signals, now I think it was to keep me interested so he can have sex with me.
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