BustedUpInside Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 This is the hardest part so far. Reminding myself everyday that whatever he is doing, thinking, buying, whoever he is seeing or talking to does not concern me anymore and doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if he meets and dates hundreds of new women because he doesn't want me and that is not going to change. I just want him to be jealous, worried, and depressed just like i am everyday. I drive myself crazy wondering if he is feeling one tenth of the range of negative emotions that I subject myself to on an almost daily basis. I try to have a mantra in my head for when the obsessive thoughts try to take over 1. He doesn't love me anymore. The reason doesn't matter only the result. 2. He will never love me again. No matter what I change, no matter what I do, we will never be in a relationship again. 3. He doesn't care what I am doing so I have to stop caring what he is doing. 4. If his number one concern is himself, and my number one concern is him, then who is putting me first? 5. Finally, if he really wanted me or cared, nothing would stop him from contacting me. The very fact that we have been NC for three weeks is evidence that he is happy in his new me-free life. Accept it! 10
IS IT Better late Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Busted Up... that's actually really good stuff to keep your mind off of him. I'm going to print it out and try to follow it. I do the same stuff. I know when she's at work, at school, has downtime. Drives me nuts! I can picture her in those settings and I wonder if she thinks about me at all. #5 is the most important, I need to lose the hope also. She's not coming back!! 1
Skipper888 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 those points are very good i will try and use them now but my situation is very different.... what do you do when they still do contact you, still text you every day/night, do see you and when they do see you they kiss, cuddle you, are very affectionate, hold your hand, kiss and cuddle in front of her family, yet still doesn't want a relationship with you or doesn't tell you how they feel or what they want from you? 1
LoveB86 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 I will post this everywhere around me Seriously, I've been in bad shape and what you wrote gave me some strength. Thank you Bustedupinside.. Thank u 1
Author BustedUpInside Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 I appreciate the nice words. Thank you! Sometimes, I really have trouble remembering these words for myself so now I have extra motivation knowing that other people are using them too.
Author BustedUpInside Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 those points are very good i will try and use them now but my situation is very different.... what do you do when they still do contact you, still text you every day/night, do see you and when they do see you they kiss, cuddle you, are very affectionate, hold your hand, kiss and cuddle in front of her family, yet still doesn't want a relationship with you or doesn't tell you how they feel or what they want from you? I think the last sentence really tells you all you need to know. They DON'T want a relationship with you. They are just using you as a cushion for their own emotional needs until they can find someone else. It is actually more cruel than no contact because while they are healing you are hanging on and holding out hope for something that is not going to happen.
Toddbt12y1 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Think of a break-up as nothing more then a time to be selfish. Where you think of yourself for once. In a relationship...we spend our time thinking of them. This is your time. Go and do the various things you couldn't before. Live for you. 1
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