diskostu Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 So i've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now. She texts me every day. She alway initiates and contacts me first. She has also invited me for coffee 4-5 times. She also spent the night once at my place and i spent the night once at her place. However, we just fooled around. She wanted to wait with sex until we got to know each other better. Here's the weird thing though. I've invited her to my place 4 times. She said yes once, but the other times she said no. The excuses sounded legitimate and i pretty much invited her to my place right then and there. no planning ahead. however, if she was really into me, she would have dropped the other things and made time for me? Or is this normal? Girls, give me some general feedback. What's with all the texting and coffee dates, but no sex or come to my place at night?
Buttercup84 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 It has only been a few weeks, so she might wait for sex a bit longer. Maybe she feels more conifdent at her place ? Ask her to your place during the day to have lunch etc. 2
Archgirl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 She's not comfortable having sex with you yet. Which she already said. She's also calling most of the shots - I freakin approve! And well adjusted women with busy lives do not drop everything to spend time with a guy they barely know, even if she's interested in him. Well done. You caught one of the saner ones. 4
clia Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Why don't you take her out on a date somewhere other than your house? Why don't you initiate some contact with her? I don't blame her for being cautious about sex with you. It seems like that's all you are after. 6
Buttercup84 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 To be honest, I do not go to a guys house that soon, unless friends are with me. Do you want a relationship with her ?
Author diskostu Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 By you constantly asking for her to come over, I agree with the above posters that you are trying to rush something that she wants to wait for. She likes you. She is comfortable fooling around but she has boundaries. With that being said. Take her on some real dates and stop thinking with the other head, if you keep asking her to come over you will drive her away. she did come over to my place once and she spent the night. the next day she invited her to her place (she was drunk though) and we spent the night there. both times we fooled around and she got really wet/horny, but stopped just before we were about to have sex. So i don't know. Is she avoiding being alone with me because i push for sex and she wants to wait? The second time we spent the night together, we did everything but have intercourse. She was really into it, but her room mate came home and interrupted things. Maybe she thinks we'll have sex if we meet up again, but wants to wait and therefore invites me to "crowded places"...
pyramid Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 i pretty much invited her to my place right then and there. no planning ahead. however, if she was really into me, she would have dropped the other things and made time for me? I think it has a lot to do with this part, actually. Even if she wants to have sex, she doesn't want it to be last minute. Why don't you try asking her ahead of time, hey, want to come over to my place on Friday? And no, she shouldn't drop her other plans. Then you'll be back here in a month complaining that she's too clingy. Be happy that she has a life! 3
Dudesmobile Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 She's not comfortable having sex with you yet. Which she already said. She's also calling most of the shots - I freakin approve! And well adjusted women with busy lives do not drop everything to spend time with a guy they barely know, even if she's interested in him. Well done. You caught one of the saner ones. This sounds like my girlfriend except i havnt been to her house yet. I love her and we have been seeing each other for a year yet she calls all the shots and text me all the time and calls me all the time. I just say dude you gotta be patient. Sounds like the girl is really into you or she wouldn't initiate stuff. Pick up PC games and play them while ur waiting. It sure kills time for me when I'm waiting for her. 1
Archgirl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 she did come over to my place once and she spent the night. the next day she invited her to her place (she was drunk though) and we spent the night there. both times we fooled around and she got really wet/horny, but stopped just before we were about to have sex. So i don't know. Is she avoiding being alone with me because i push for sex and she wants to wait? The second time we spent the night together, we did everything but have intercourse. She was really into it, but her room mate came home and interrupted things. Maybe she thinks we'll have sex if we meet up again, but wants to wait and therefore invites me to "crowded places"... Dude you are missing the point. She does not want to have sex with you yet. And she probably is trying to steer you to public places because she wants you to treat her like a real person instead of a fun factory. Try what Mr Sparrow said- take her on real dates for a bit, treat her like something special and don't keep pushing. 3
xpaperxcutx Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 She knows what you're after but she doesn't want to be a bootycall. Why haven't you taken her out or meet her in a more public area? Are you interested in her as a person or just interested in sex with her? 2
Object_a Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 If you keep inviting her to your place instead of taking her out it looks like you're more concerned with getting shagged than making an effort to impress her. Even if that's not your intention in inviting her over, the subtext is there and it's probably making her anxious. She's clearly not ready yet and at this rate she never will be. Take her out and enjoy getting to know her more first and the rest will happen if and when it's supposed to. 1
Babolat Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I agree with most of the replies here. You need to figure out what you want from this stable/healthy woman. If it's just sex, sounds like she is not your gal. If you want to get to know her, date her, than step up to the plate and do so. Your comment about her getting wet tells me where you are though.
FlyerFan54 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 If anything, you are giving off the wrong vibe to her. You've gotta initiate some conversation and at least take her out on a date, and let her know in advance. Last minute things drives people nuts. She will lose interest very quickly if you do everything last minute and don't show some more interest off your end.
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