Today I put my ex bf on the spot by letting him know what i want from "us"----

[netrie]

And guess what? Its been hours and he has NOT responded-----i know him so believe me, he got it. Part of me knows its because I have basically emailed a REPLY to him that I will not ONLY be his Girl Friday to keep his bed warm and sexy---he needs to respect me and I said I dont want STDs... I did not use those exact words. Initially, he emailed to see if we could get together and for me to say when. Here is my email reply --------copy/paste:

 

[color=violet]

Hi, (his name)

 

Well, I'd love for you to take me to a movie or dinner? Saturday night? Also, its not a good idea to sIeep with more than one for several reasons: STDs, emotional etc. and I think you told me this in the beginning. So let me know your stance on this.

 

Netalia[/color]

 

Also, this will tell me how much he really is serious or f__kin with my head...by using my gorgeous body that most guys would love and appreciate.

 

Netalia

[Jilly10340]

Wait a minute....So he's your ex and your still sleeping together but you want him back?

 

Is that what this is all about?

[netrie]

Hi Jilly

 

We keep on getting back together even though I am dating others... And I know he has "slept" with others too but we still are drawn togther. I have tried the NC just to get myself emotionally balanced in regards to HIM, and that was 5 weeks ago but he is still hanging on and letting me "call the shots" to a certain degree.

 

What did you think of the email? I just want him to know that I will need to be "treated" with more respect such as doing things together other than just sex...

 

He did not reply YET! Perhaps this is his way of saying, Sorry Cant Commit. But that will be fine because I have other male suitors, very nice guys, wanting me and open to treating me great and they do!

 

The problem is the "attachment" with ex bf and he is with me... Both of us.

 

Netalia

[Jilly10340]

I know how you feel, believe me. I've been there. I went out with a guy, moved in with him and broke up 7 months later. We still continued to have sex for a month after we broke up. We got back together three months later and it ended AGAIN about two months ago. We still can't be around each other because, well, like you said, we're too attracted to each other.

 

What is it that you want exactly? Do you want to be in an exclusive relationship with him again? If that's so, and he doesn't want to commit then I would say do the no contact thing for awhile. I know you said that you tried and it didn't work but try harder. That's what I did and it's so much easier now. It was hard not to call or see him at first but it gets better over time. I actually saw him last friday and I felt nothing, and the nothing felt great!

 

If you just want to date and have fun every once in awhile then withhold sex until you get it. If he drops you, then you know that's all he wanted and he doesn't deserve you anyway.

 

Is there a possibility he didn't get the email?

[netrie]

Hi Jilly

 

Oh. No. He got the email I am so sure. I hit a Reply from his initial email to me wanting to get togther and he did not reply to that. I know it is because he is "disappointed" that I did not say Sure, lets get togther tonight---he was wanting to see me immediately, yesterday and I said "Saturda" instead and I deliberately made sure to add "dinner or movie" to indirectly say that I want more than just sex with me.

 

In the beginning he took me everywhere, dinners, the SF symphony etc. and then it moved into sex only and I am not complaining but that gets BORING for me after awhile if a man is not treating me right.

 

In fact, he may have been "looking" for Ms Right while he sleeps with me and spends his money "dating" in search of Ms Right---screw that. It makes me feel CHEAP and I want to respect myself a lot more than that. So while he is spending his money dating around etc. and having sex with others too, I am suppose to just be there for him? Forget it. He is arrogant and I am not an idiot!

 

Thank you Jilly for your replies!

 

Netalia

[Jilly10340]

There you go! Make yourself less available to him until he comes around. You can be in control of this relationship and if he doesn't want to play by some ground rules then screw him.