Col1 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) I'm a guy with a profile on a popular online dating site. My profile has 5 different photos of myself (face, portrait, and full-body clothed pics), completed essays and details filled-out. Today, I received a message initiated by a female profile. She wrote a nice message (4 sentences) complimenting my profile, saying we both have similar career fields, and have a common interest in playing a certain musical instrument. Her profile seems nice, except for one major detail: SHE HAS NO PHOTOS POSTED. Her message/profile doesn't say anything about offering pics or even if she'll reveal her pics before meeting. If I ask for her photos, then I seem shallow and focused on looks. BUT:She got to see my pics in deciding to contact me! If I had no pics, she probably wouldn't have contacted me. Attraction is a two-way street. If she's a Catfish (attention-seeker), she could take any pretty lady's pics off of Facebook and e-mail them to me privately. The person behind the profile could even be a dude! I also don't want to piss her (or him) off because s/he could steal my posted pics and create fraud social media profiles in my city defaming me. Suggestions? Edited April 30, 2013 by Col1
ForeverHopeful1 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) It doesnt seem shallow to me. There is no point on going on a date with someone youre not attracted to. For me, I would NEVER go on a date with someone if I didnt know what they looked like. I am a female, but I dont know... I just find it really odd to go on a date when you dont even know if youre physically attracted to them. Getting along great without sex = friendship. If I were on a dating site, Im not looking for friends. Maybe they are trying to keep things less superficial, get to know one another and then send photos? I have NO clue how online dating works. I have never done it, but it sounds horribly frustrating. I guess because I would think sending pictures of myself, after seeing what you looked like, it would seem normal. She could be a man. She could be a tranny, she could be a nice, sweet girl trying to weed through all the dirtbags who want to date her because she is smokin'. I can come up with more bad reasons than good to withhold pictures. I dont know. I didnt say I was good at the online dating stuff or knew about it anyway though! Lol. Forgive me if I am a complete and utter tool. If you are uncomfortable at any time with the situation, move on and dont look back. Life is too short to wonder who is behind the computer for too long. To me, being physically attracted to someone is important. I know looks fade, but as my husband and I have grown older together he has lost hair, gained more body hair, has grey hair on his head and in his goatee and gained weight. He hates it. I think he is the sexiest man ever and has aged really well. He is very sexy to me, and even more sexy now that he is older. Mmmmmmmm. I think he is amazing and I love just looking at him! I know he is probably a 7-8 in most womens eyes, but I think he is a 10. I think the emotional connection/bond we share makes us horribly attractive to each other when others would not be! Lol You could keep talking for a few days and see if they situation changes?? She may just want to get to know you a little better before sending a complete stranger her picture. Some individuals are more private, reserved and shy about these things. Also, some people need to be discreet because you never know is out there and they may have alternative reasons for not posting pics in their profile. I would be weary of it too and would appreciate a picture. Edited April 30, 2013 by ForeverHopeful1 1
almond Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 You are on a dating website. It is common courtesy to allow the person that you are potentially going to meet up with to see who they're talking to. Looks certainly matter to an extent, and if she takes issue with this, then consider yourself lucky that you weeded her out early. 1
Author Col1 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) You could keep talking for a few days and see if they situation changes?? She may just want to get to know you a little better before sending a complete stranger her picture. Some individuals are more private, reserved and shy about these things. Also, some people need to be discreet because you never know is out there and they may have alternative reasons for not posting pics in their profile. I haven't even replied to "her" message. That profile may be sending out messages to hundreds of guys to see who "she" can bait. If I reply, then that could put me on that person's radar. If I don't reply, the catfish just moves on to the next victim. Catfish like to steal other people's attention and time; they don't care about money. Like Manti Te'o got victimized. I also wonder if it's one of my female co-workers or female acquaintances (either messing with me or feeling me out) or some middle school kid who's bored. Maybe I should just ignore the message. Edited April 30, 2013 by Col1
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