ghouse Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I need to rant, and hopefully everyone here will tell me how stupid I am so I can get over this woman... thanks for reading and any input you may have, I need an outlet! Of course, everything is from my POV, so it may be biased, but since I'm the loser in this, I don't have much reason to lie. Background: I am in my late 20s and I have been friend-zoned by a woman in her early 30s... this has been happening for 5 years now. We worked together but not anymore. I have loved her for the entire time I've known her and tried to date other women during this time. Those relationships would usually fall apart and I ended up appreciating her even more. Working together, we would talk everyday. First just about work, but then personal. Through instant message constantly throughout the day, going out to lunch, and eventually spending time together after work. Always 1 on 1. Dinners, walks, drinks, long talks. Everyone at work knew something was going on, and I that I absolutely was her little pet. She said she had a boyfriend (they weren't serious), I didn't care. I thought being friends was better than nothing. I always respected her relationship. I seriously thought she was the most beautiful woman on earth. She got pregnant by her boyfriend, I didn't care. Things didn't work out with that guy... I still didn't push her for anything more. I still loved her, but said nothing. We still talked everyday. We would go out on "dates", everything but a physical relationship. Too many to count at this point. Even pregnant, I thought she was so beautiful. She gave birth, and started dating a different guy at work by secret (which was hard to do since she would talk and spend time with me all day, just shows you never know). I was devastated when I found out, but eventually I got over it. I just wanted her to be happy. Things ended with that guy (I'm certain her cheated on her since he knocked up a different woman, and doing the math, this was the time they were together). After a few months, I finally made my move. She said she didn't feel the same way. I was crushed. Took some time apart but eventually things became like they were. I got to know her son. I become attached to her son. Her son really likes me, and I genuinely like spending time with him. People at work started noticing this as well. I'm ok with being friends. Working a dead-end 9 to 5, we decide to start a side business. Yes, stupid idea. We start making some money together, but then she starts dating another guy. Doesn't tell me. I ask her to go to a wedding with me as friends, she turns me down. I finally squeeze out of her that she has a boyfriend, a 30+ year old douchy frat guy. I'm hurt, but its ok. She starts spending less and less time with me. This sucks. I take the plunge- I break things off completely. NC. We find different jobs, we drift apart. I still love her. The NC last less than 2 months. I apologize profusely. We start talking again, and things slowly get back to normal. Things don't work out with douchy frat guy (I'm not sure exactly when they break-up). I'm sure he just wanted to get in her pants. I always treat her with respect. We decide to continue our business again. Two weeks ago at dinner, I briefly mention how she has rejected me in the past and joke about it. Not drunk, not belligerent, not hitting on her. She doesn't find it funny. She cuts me off completely after that night. I am completely floored. I still love her. I try to tell her its all in the past and I'm fine with being just friends and that I care about her and her son. She ignores me completely. I don't understand why. I text her, call her, email, leave her voicemails this past week - nothing. Telling her I'll do anything you want, you can cut me off, but just explain why. I say we are adults, why can't we talk about this. I'm begging for a response. She refuses to acknowledge me. I am hurt beyond words. Tonight I call her from a different number, my house phone... her 4 year old son picks up. I'm delighted to hear his voice. He recognizes me. I tell him to put mom on phone. Her: "Who is this" Me: "Its me" She immediately hangs up on me. I call again. Straight to voicemail. She texts me and says "Please stop calling". I am devastated. I don't understand why she is doing this. I am upset. I write her an email saying this is it, I don't know what I did to deserve this, but you are mean and cold-hearted. 5 years of loyal friendship down the drain. Everything I've done for her means nothing. That's my story, please tell me I'm stupid for wasting the prime of my life chasing after her.
thefooloftheyear Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) Good God..Why would you hang around as someones emotional prop rod and get nothing out of it ..for 5 years?? There is nothing to say...cut your losses. TFY Edited April 30, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
Author ghouse Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Good God..Why would you hang around as someones emotional prop rod and get nothing out of it ..for 5 years?? There is nothing to say...cut your losses. TFY I'm not entirely sure... fearful of the unknown? Funny thing is I've been successful with other women, but I've been afraid to commit anything to them. Simple as it was... your post helps a lot Thanks brother
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