J_slay Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 (this is very "choppy" so pls bare with me, I dont have time to correct it) Ok, what I'm about to say might sound confusing but pls read on, I'm a wreck. I dated this girl for 2 1/2 years, this girl was completely infatuated with me, did everything and anything for me. I guess you could say that I sort of distanced myself from her for basically the whole period we were together (im 20 years old, and a guy, im sure you understand). We hung out all the time dont get me wrong, but she had to initiate it, I rarely wanted to do things with her parents/friends/relatives or really, now that I think about it, did I initiate 'alone' time for us at all, she did. Well anyways 2 and a half years go by and to make a long story short I basically let her go, thinking I'll just find someone else. We agree not to talk for awhile, at all (to painful, you know the drill). It's been 5 mos, I havn't spoke to her (she stops hanging out with everyone we used to, no one hears from her and her friends say she's been acting strange since we broke up). I won't let myself call her, I'v been on the dating scene and everyone else just seems so illigitimate compared to her. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world for not realising what I had when I had it, I can't seem to forgive myself for letting her go. I worry about her all the time, I hope she's doing great. I don't know what I need to do to let her go, I mean its been 5 mos ( and trust me: I'v never had a problem letting anyone go before)!!!!!!!! I think somethings wrong with me, I don't know. Maybe I'v just never had my heart broken before. I feel sick to my stomach, wtf. I think I'm just scared I'll never find someone that will treat me the way she did, thats scary. I can count the number of times we argued on one hand. I feel like i let something great fly out the window. guess the jokes on me now.
gold26 Posted September 22, 2004 Posted September 22, 2004 its possable you may have loved this girl way more than you realized..all the time you dated her, you did your best to steel yourself from becoming attached to her.. and yet she has managed to break down the defensive walls you had built up.. now that you have dated and compared her to others you see the difference.. i think you may have broken her heart as well.. i feel sad for both of you... but just remember... its never too late when too people love each other.
Author J_slay Posted September 22, 2004 Author Posted September 22, 2004 You hit the nail right on the head, and the funny thing is that I won't call her. I don't want to put her through anything else, or myself. If fate wants us to be together then we will, I just hope that if I ever get in a relationship like that again that I will realise what I have while I have it, not a month after we're broken up. She taught me a very valuable lesson and I love her for it, now I guess I don't really have a choice but to suck up what I feel and move on. Yesterday I threw out everything I had of hers (pictures, cards, notes, perfumes, clothes etc.) and cried like a little boy the whole time. Shouldn't I be over her by now? This can't be healthy, I get sick just thinking about it.
Author J_slay Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 should I call her? i really want to. she called me about a month ago at like 1230 at night and I tried calling her back the next morning and left a msg.......she never called me back. i don't want to seem like a psycho but I just want to hear her voice. I so afraid that she might be with someone else, I need help.
backspn Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I would text her...its safer. Ask her how everything is going and ask her to call you when she gets free time......then let time take care of things.
Author J_slay Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 i think she changed her email (because it was the day she met me in numbers) or I would have
hurtingandconfused Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I'v been on the dating scene and everyone else just seems so illigitimate compared to her. You're not ready to date. That's why you still compare your ex to the new girls. I would stop dating and be single for a while. I hope she's doing great. That's all you must do. Hope that she is doing great. Do not email, call, text, IM, and/or talk to her in anyway. (Unless you come across her at the store or whatever.) I need to do to let her go, I mean its been 5 mos It takes a while to completely let someone go. Give it more time, do not think about it; it will naturally happen. I'll never find someone that will treat me the way she did Trust me you will. should I call her? i really want to. Nope.
Author J_slay Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 Thanks for your input, I rly need advice like that. I just can't help but feel like she feels the same way as I do. I hope she doesn't and that I'm making the right choice. This is honestly the hardest decision I'v ever had to make and I hope (on everything i hold sacred) that it's the right one.
backspn Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I think your wrong hurting....he wont find anyone who loves him like she does.....everyone loves differently. I think you meant he will find someone who will love him again....of course he will....but it wont be the same. Maybe better....maybe not....but it wont be the same.....she is unique in your life.
gold26 Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 i dont see any harm in calling her and just telling her you were thinking of her.. as a friend.. it doesent mean your sucking up or trying to get her back.. but you can still have a friendly chat.. and who knows what could happen? if you close the door the way it sounds like your trying to.. you will alwasy look back and wonder.. i am not an expert... but i know time heals a lot of pain from a breakup.. but i have also heard so many times in my life how **** never got over the breakup with ***** we may move on.. but i dont think we every Totally forget someone we loved that much.. especially when they were good to us the way you say she was to you... and believe it or not, a month really isnt that long to be broken up with someone.. some people reconcile many months down the road.. even years later..
Author J_slay Posted September 23, 2004 Author Posted September 23, 2004 see, the problem is that while she was my best friend, she was never 'just a friend'. from the first time we saw each other there was that feeling, ya know? i feel like im half way through my greeving, I can't go through what I'v already went through again. I'm not going to call her b/c I still love her. No matter how bad I want to I can't do it. I can't set myself (or her) up to go through what we'v been through again. So I guess I got to get all the 'what ifs' out of my head somehow. How? who knows, it's hard to forget someone after a relationship like that.
hurtingandconfused Posted September 23, 2004 Posted September 23, 2004 I think your wrong hurting I'm sorry backspn but I disagree with you. I've read advice that you have given and I think that it's advice that people want to hear. But in reality that is not how you go through a break up. i dont see any harm in calling her and just telling her you were thinking of her.. as a friend.. Calling her may cause even more harm. A heart can be broken many times by a single person. Jslay is still in love with his ex, why would he want to become friends with her?? but you can still have a friendly chat.. and who knows what could happen? This is not a friendship mentality. but i dont think we every Totally forget someone we loved that much.. This is the only thing I agree.
Hendrix Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Originally posted by gold26 its never too late when too people love each other. cool thing to say! i jus broke up with my gf... and we (she) and myself to be honest had everything goin for us... Its so weird and odd why we broke up... Its unexplainable.. we were both in love... still are... she jus wanted to sort herself out... But i dont feel hurt or anthin... Read my post if u want... its here on the first page or 2... In time i feel she will feel like the Threadstarter... and im sure i will too maybe, i think we jus met wen we were to young... its hard to exlpain.. But every situation if diff... but its hard... I havnt met anyone new yet... but im scared i wont find someone as good too.. =/ but ah i duno... life is strange...
Author J_slay Posted September 24, 2004 Author Posted September 24, 2004 sounds alot like my situation except you just broke up.
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