BustedUpInside Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I know that everyone has different experiences and thoughts after a break up, but I was wondering how long it takes until I can expect not to think about my ex all day long almost every day. We were together for six years and broke up about 4 months ago. That is 1/3 of a year where my thoughts are routinely occupied by him; what he is doing, what he is thinking, who is he with, etc. I just want to be less obsessed and I just can't seem to get there. Any advice?
SLW89 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 It never goes away. It's been almost a year and to be honest the only difference is the gut wrenching pain. The crying will go away, but that's it. For the last nine months he is the first and last thing I think about and it pisses me off but I do a journal, I do this website, talk to friends. All you can do is figure out a way to get the thoughts out. Otherwise your gunna drive yourself crazy. When you really love someone it doesn't go away. Sorry
TheBladeRunner Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 The million dollar question, I wondered the same thing last August 17th when I found out about my wife's affairs (yes, there were a few). I lived in a fog and I know I drank too much the first four months then things started to subside. I got smart after my four months of anger and started to work on me and creating a solid relationship with my daughter, this really helped. What I mean is that I started to focus on me. She wasn't coming back, even if she did, I didn't want her anymore; she crapped on me AND my daughter as far as I am concerned. What you may want to think about is doing something that you always wanted to do and then just do it. I took up hobbies just to take them up and I have made some great new friends along the way. It will NEVER get any better regarding how you feel about your "ex"............BUT...........it will get different if you allow it too (and Different IS GOOD (Trust Me)). 1
Author BustedUpInside Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 I think that is some good advice. Maybe a new hobby will let me be distracted long enough that even if I think about him everyday it won't consume all of my waking thoughts. 1
DreamLost Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Hi BustedUpInside, You have just answered your question - different people go through different things in life and the time it takes for them to recover can differ greatly. I have broken up with my ex for 9 years but the thoughts of her still haunt me from time to time. A good way to get your mind off these thoughts is to keep yourself really really busy with other stuff. DreamLost
TheBladeRunner Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I am a liberal..........but she is a D-bag liberal (A liberal w/ no thoughts of her own ) She hated guns, I got one to go target shoot with my buddies (I'm too liberal tom kill animals ) I took up bowling......and I am bad........but I joined a league and made lot's of friends. I go to movies that she would hate.......last night I saw Oblivion with Tom Cruise and Morgan Freeman.......I liked it. I go out to eat at nice places....even by myself.....and sit down. She always wanted to do take-out. You get the picture, right?
Author BustedUpInside Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 I do get the picture. I am going to start a craft project tonight and then just go from there.
Toddbt12y1 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Unfortunately memories do not erase. Well...easily. You will actually think less of them...as you move on to the next girl or Guy. You won't forget them. But the thoughts will be lessened. 1
Am4Real Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 It can certainly linger until you meet that next really great person, then poof, all the links seem to come apart and your focus changes. Back to you and not hijacking the thread, what are you doing to meet new people? It never goes away. It's been almost a year and to be honest the only difference is the gut wrenching pain. The crying will go away, but that's it. For the last nine months he is the first and last thing I think about and it pisses me off but I do a journal, I do this website, talk to friends. All you can do is figure out a way to get the thoughts out. Otherwise your gunna drive yourself crazy. When you really love someone it doesn't go away. Sorry
aisuru Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I think when you discover things to fill the void he was filling. Be it hobbies, new friends, volunteering, reading, discovering yourself. The worst thing you can do is look for somebody else to fill that void. It's hard I know. I am not always successful at shutting off the thoughts myself.
Author BustedUpInside Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 I haven't done much to meet new people. I am not really ready to be social yet, but I am going to try some new hobbies and get back into some old ones.
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