fabi20 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 (edited) hi everyone, i'm back here after a few months bc i have made some contact with my ex and have some updates. i would really appreciate some feedback. background story, we've been broken up for 6 months...he got into a new relationship very shortly after we broke up and i was a complete mess. long story short, i decided to try and move on, so i did not try contacting him for a while. we had been 3 months NC when i decided to try and communicate with him since i could ot stop thinking about him. since our break up i decided to move out of town also. i went to visit two weeks ago, and his mom asked me to stop by and see her. when i went to see his mom we briefly talked about my ex and she told me he had broken up with his new gf....shortly before i went to visit i had spoken to him briefly on whatssapp and noticed him being very friendly with me (this was after 3 months of NC) and i initiated the convo. after we spoke on whatsapp i felt happy, just having some sort of contact, but when i went to visit and tried calling him his number had changed. so, his mom textd him and told him i was visiting and i wanted to sy hi, he told her i could have his new number. i called him that night, which was the night before i was leaving and we talked for an hour. it was so good to hear his voice, and i told him it was, he said it was also nice hearing my voice. i suggested meeting up before leaving, but since it was such short notice he told me he would have to take a rain check...we agreed that next time i'm in town we would meet up and catch up. now, i didn't want to get my hopes up, but knowing the type of person my ex is, i was surprised he would agree to meet up next time and the fect he was so open and friendly with me...when we broke up he was the complete opposite, not sure if it was bc he had a new gf, but when we broke up he was so careful to even hint any time of reconciliation.... the thing is...we agreed to also keep in touch through whatssapp, but since he changed his number, he still hasn't downloaded it to his new phone, i check every so often but he's not on there...i would think if he really did want to get back together he would at least stay in touch bc i already did initiated some contact..i know i should not get my hopes up, but i can't help it it's been two weeks since we spoke on the phone...i live out of the country by the way and don't think he has my number...but again, he hasn't downloaded whatsspp..i just don't know what to do, if i should call him or text him...i don't want to seem desperate like before Edited April 30, 2013 by fabi20
Author fabi20 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 any advice? input? am i totally getting my hopes up?
bitterruin Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Yeah, you're getting your hopes up when it seems like there's nothing there. If he wanted to be with you he would have contacted you by now.
ThatJustHappened Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 If he had wanted to see you when you were in town he would have made time for you. Sorry but I think he's just being polite, and he's probably feeling pressured about his mother being in contact with you as well.
Author fabi20 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 i get it, but what makes me get my hopes up is if it was about just being polite he didn't have to talk to me for an hour and be so open with me, being the type of person he is...he didn't care to be polite when i was trying to speak to him for the last 6 months, he ignored me then. i thought maybe now that things didn't work out with this new girl he might miss me? or maybe he really did enjoy talking to me?
shiver23 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 It probably took him the first 6 months to get over you (NC). Now he's being mature and talking to you because you guys had a relationship. No ulterior motives unless he openly says so. Guys make moves when they are interested.
DavidSoBased Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 From what I read, he never initiated the contact with you. He's the dumper, for him to not initiate the contact means that he isn't interested in you in that way, or in any way for that matter. You contacted him? That's great, but it doesn't seem like it would bother him any way whether you had contacted him or not. Just my outlook on the matter. 1
Author fabi20 Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 there are many things that went wrong during the relationship and i don't expect him to want to jump right back in it. but the fact that he is considering meeting with me or at least said he will when i return is nice because then i can at least get a feel to see if anything is still there on his end and show him how things can be different. i know i'm gonna have to be the one to put the work in, so i just want to do it in a way that doesn't come off as desperate...not sure if i should call him or wait until i return in a few weeks
aisuru Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Don't initiate the next contact. Let him do it. I suspect he's not interested, but you never know. In the meantime, take care of you and try not to think about him. You could be missing out on an even better guy because you're busy stewing on this one.
bitterruin Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I really don't think you should contact him again. You seem to need to work on a few things on your end before you decide to start another relationship. You can't convince him to be with you, it's something that needs to come from him, and honestly he isn't putting in any effort, which can only mean one thing: he's not interested. Sorry but you need to move on with your life.
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