Archgirl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 And you young lady are my favorite loveshack poster. I'm not afraid of Archgirl either. Man! I don't care if Treasa isn't afraid of me - she wasn't being a meanie and ganging up on OP like all you boy bullies! but you Mr Sparrow!? What do I have to do to get a lil respect 'round here OP you clearly know you effed up if you actually liked him. But do you want judgements on the situation, advice on how to hook up with him again or advice on how to pursue something more serious with him? 3
Archgirl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 The little monkey stole the rum. Is that me? Is that why I have no respect? Will you be afraid of me if I bribe you with the stolen rum? OP seriously try texting him- showing some initiative/giving him a lil and then let us know how it goes, if he was keen enough to text you for that long after a coupla hookups he was probably pretty keen so it may still be salvagable. 1
Archgirl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I'm not being mean. Her actions were mean reading her thread. If it were a man insulting a woman I'd respond the same way. Everyone judges. You post here those are the consequences of advice from Internet strangers Miss Arch Girl. I like it when you call me Miss make me all dizzy I don't think her actions are deliberately mean. I honestly get the impression that she has no idea about the emotional effect/implications of her actions or subtext of his actions. Some girls get the sex/hook up bit but still are a largely clueless about men. I like how OP genuinely seems to want to understand and learn. That automatically gets my respect and any advice I can offer. 1
Divasu Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 After he left the bar alone, I text him - 'Have a good night, it's a small world' He has not text me back at all! He always does. Do you think he thought I may have left the bar with someone else since I didn't ask him to meet up later??? No. I think he didn't respond because you didn't invite him over... :/ 1
ComeUpOutDaWahta Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Wasn't trying to "gang up" on OP. I'm pretty hard on most everyone on this site in my posts, men especially, mainly because the fact that someone posting here (or anywhere) for advice shows that they aren't very confident in the choices they've made to begin with. They aren't happy with the results, and are looking to be pointed in a different direction and not simply given justification and a pat on the back. As Don Draper put it "People like being told what to do, and frankly, some people want to be told what to do so badly that they'll listen to anyone." (I do realize that quoting Draper in a riposte to a claim of misogyny is probably poor form, but hey, you only #yolo once.) Look, this guy only knows as much as you've told him and shown him, unlike us. If I were in his shoes, knowing only what he knows, I would have fled and fled some more. You shamed him with a slip of the tongue (albeit inadvertently), shamed him by saying you wanted to keep the hookup hush hush, then shamed him by ostensibly insulting him via texts after seeing him in person shoulder-to-shoulder with a gang of dudes. Given the fact that you run in some of the same circles, I'm going to tell you right now: this guy has put you in top runnings for The Most Regrettable Hook-up Ever. OP, don't try to contact him anymore. He'll either not respond (best scenario) or he will respond, in which case... how could you possibly respect him? He clearly doesn't respect himself if he chooses to do so.
Author Maneater Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 No. I think he didn't respond because you didn't invite him over... :/ Thank you for answering the question!
Author Maneater Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 For what r you hiding? I dont get the private thing. why call his cock small. you are living 2 lives. how can you have peace. tell him you are ashamed of him and not interested and move on. We are not an exclusive couple so I prefer the entire town NOT knowing I'm hooking up with some guy. NOT because I'm embarrassed of him but because it just looks bad since we're not a couple. I simply do not want to be labeled a whore because I've hooked up with one guy IN MY CITY. 2
Author Maneater Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Is that me? Is that why I have no respect? Will you be afraid of me if I bribe you with the stolen rum? OP seriously try texting him- showing some initiative/giving him a lil and then let us know how it goes, if he was keen enough to text you for that long after a coupla hookups he was probably pretty keen so it may still be salvagable. Thank you for supporting me. I will be in his area of town tomorrow night. I was thinking of texting him TODAY, 'pencil me in your schedule for tomorrow night'. Normally hook ups, people seem to text the day of. In this case, if I text me ahead of time - that shows I care and am making an extra effort. What do you think? 1
ses Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 We are not an exclusive couple so I prefer the entire town NOT knowing I'm hooking up with some guy. NOT because I'm embarrassed of him but because it just looks bad since we're not a couple. I simply do not want to be labeled a whore because I've hooked up with one guy IN MY CITY. It's your life. People hook up all the time. It's normal. I understand you like your privacy but you should have conveyed your concerns more thoroughly. It just sounds like you're ashamed or insecure. I agree with the other guys that your comment was hurtful, irrespective of your intention. I think it would be the equivalent of a man denigrating the size of a woman's breasts. Some guys may try to come off as macho but deep down all of them have feelings and insecurities. Be careful, and tread lightly. Always accentuate the positives and always be considerate in your words. Focus on the guy, and don't engage in any comparison/contrast with any previous partners. That's a sure fire way to engage his insecurities. Don't engage in any more drunken hookups if you're looking for something serious. Do you want the long-distance guy, or the current hook-up? It's okay to keep your options open but don't lead anyone on to expect more than you're willing to offer.
Author Maneater Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 It's your life. People hook up all the time. It's normal. I understand you like your privacy but you should have conveyed your concerns more thoroughly. It just sounds like you're ashamed or insecure. I agree with the other guys that your comment was hurtful, irrespective of your intention. I think it would be the equivalent of a man denigrating the size of a woman's breasts. Some guys may try to come off as macho but deep down all of them have feelings and insecurities. Be careful, and tread lightly. Always accentuate the positives and always be considerate in your words. Focus on the guy, and don't engage in any comparison/contrast with any previous partners. That's a sure fire way to engage his insecurities. Don't engage in any more drunken hookups if you're looking for something serious. Do you want the long-distance guy, or the current hook-up? It's okay to keep your options open but don't lead anyone on to expect more than you're willing to offer. Thank you for thoroughly reading the thread. Yes I can obviously see how he took my comment negatively. I do want to see if this current hook up can move towards something serious. I have my doubts about him because he does have a past which includes a lot of women. He's a lot older now and said he's done with that period of his life. I probably subconsciously did not take him seriously in the beginning because of his past. I already told long distance guy I'm not interested and if he chooses to fly out here again, that's on him. I would prefer to see how this current hook up goes. I think if I just flatter him a couple more times in text, he'll come around.
Author Maneater Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 I do not see how your penis comment was an insult ? He should feel good about it ! And do not let the others make you feel bad. Thank you!
Archgirl Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Thank you for supporting me. I will be in his area of town tomorrow night. I was thinking of texting him TODAY, 'pencil me in your schedule for tomorrow night'. Normally hook ups, people seem to text the day of. In this case, if I text me ahead of time - that shows I care and am making an extra effort. What do you think? No worries babe Good move -Just phrase it nicer - Say- it was good to see him the other night, you want to catch up properly and will be out your way tomorrow night - want to meet up? Something like that only how you would say it - you gotta lay the honey on a lil bit more to make up for the potential ego blows. And you never know there could be a whole other reason he's not texting. Let us know what happens!
Author Maneater Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 No worries babe Good move -Just phrase it nicer - Say- it was good to see him the other night, you want to catch up properly and will be out your way tomorrow night - want to meet up? Something like that only how you would say it - you gotta lay the honey on a lil bit more to make up for the potential ego blows. And you never know there could be a whole other reason he's not texting. Let us know what happens! Thanks! great idea. nicer does not hurt right now 1
RedRobin Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 meh... OP, I don't see that you 'shamed' the guy about his penis. It is totally fine to comment on 'fit'. Better than fine. If he takes it the wrong way, that's his problem. This isn't really about the penis comment though (although the 'small world' comment was pretty hilarious...) Sounds like it is about the dangers of 'hooking up' in a small town and the awkwardness that surrounds it. This situation sounds like more hassle than *I'd* want to deal with... but that is just me. If you want to try and salvage the situation, looks like Archgirl has some good suggestions. 2
Recommended Posts