Dudesmobile Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 So girlfriend brought up the suggestion that she wants to have dinner with my mom and me this week. Dad lives in a different state since parents are divorced. She has the same situation with her family so I guess that makes me feel better. She is highly family oriented and I want to make a good impression. So I told my mom a list of topics she has to avoid when talking to my girlfriend. I hope this goes well. It's only for an hour but still. Idk what they will think of each other. Any advice for me or just let it flow? I'm of course sitting next to my girlfriend at dinner so she doesn't feel like she's being drilled. That's one thing I told my mom not to do is drill her about her school (since we r both in college), how much money we both make, how we r paying for things and just other little random things that don't matter to us but I know my mom would bring up.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Don't try so hard, just let it flow. If they get along it's going to go very smoothy, and that can be hard to predict. If they don't get along or your mom doesn't like her....welllll. You've got no control over the situation, the questions aren't as important as the vibe and the impression your mom just gets from this girl, that's just going to be it. I think you're way too paranoid though, just be relaxed and maybe steer them out of silent moments or be the mediator if you have to, otherwise they'll be talking without any need of your assistance, it's just going to be what it's going to be, don't go in highly critical of your mother and trying to make her act and be a certain way to impress your girlfriend...that's now how it works and you're placing too much emphasis on "family oriented", someone who really wants to be with you isn't going to judge you based on your relationship with your family but how you handle the family you create on your own. Don't stress over this, it's not going to be a big deal at all more than likely. 2
ja123 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 If your GF is family oriented then she'll probably do fine with your mom: meaning she'll have the right instincts. But here are my 2 cents on how I always won over the bf's mom. Little things count: such as letting mom sit in the front seat of the car with son (in fact, gf should insist on it). No kissy-kissy or hand-holding in front of mom (the hand-holding comes way down the line, and that's only if you're with others: never make mom feel like the 3rd wheel.) Moms are often frightened to lose their sons to this "other" woman. GFs need to remove this threat, and be docile, compliant, and friendly with mom: never overbearing. Showing respect towards her son (not cutting him off, never pointing out his weak points, etc.) should go without saying. And that's how it should be at all times, anyway, in public. GF needs to make mom feel like the centre of attention. If mom talks about your school, then ask mom what her favourite subject was in school, who was her favourite teacher and why, etc. Mom needs to be the belle of the ball in other words. I tell you that my approach works, but I am quite genuine as well, I might add. I'm not fake, and I show genuine interest in the mother (afterall, she created the little miracle I'm dating!) I was once warned by a bf that his mom passionately hated all his GFs, but guess what? She loved me! Always a first time, eh? 2
veggirl Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 What topics have to be avoided? Weird. It's just 2 people meeting, relax! 1
Author Dudesmobile Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Thanks for the support Im just gonna relax and I hope things go well.
Treasa Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I just thought of trying to stifle my mom, and I almost snorted Diet Pepsi out of my nose. If anything, I have to tell guys, "If she doesn't like you, she'll let you know." It's my mom. She's not some monster. And she knows I'm an adult and will make my own decisions. If a guy doesn't have a big enough set to handle meeting my mom without restrictions on my mom's part (not that she'd listen to them), he'd never make it in my family anyway.
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