She's getting comfortable and settling in a bit' - Weight gain

[thefooloftheyear]

I work out for 45 mins everyday.

I use two 30 lb dumbbels for many of my exercises. I only use free weights. Machines are for wussies.

I run, bike, hike, rock climb.

I am in good shape. Im not an avid gym goer, I do different things involving exercise outside of the gym.

I am also a huge nerd. I read dorky books, watch dorky shows and spent 2 hrs last night talking to my best female friend about a range of topics- astronomy, politics, psychology, neurobiology.

 

You can be both in shape and nerdy. Perhaps there arent alot of people like me but you can do both. Most of the guys I meet at the gym are just sporty though and dont do much to stimulate their mind. I have had several men there say they were intimidated by me at first because 1) I strength train and most girls dont 2) I am pretty smart and I guess most smart girls are ugly according to them and 3) I dont take **** from people. I dont think Im intimidating, but whatever. Im pretty sure when I walk down the street people dont go "peyton is a thug"

 

Sanatarium, my weight goes to my boobs and ass first. Then if I keep gaining it goes to my arms and waist. This is why I dont starve myself or really even try to lose weight. I like my Tits and Ass. Losing 5 lbs just makes me bonier in the chest. Everyone has a different body shape. It is also easier for men to gain muscle weight than women. It took me almost a year of regular strength training to gain a lb of muscle.

 

 

Sound like my kind of woman.:laugh:

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

this is relevant how?

 

Just trying to point out that it isnt always a big deal if someone puts a few pounds and relaying a personal experience. If you dont find my post relevant to your agenda just move along...I wont be offended.

 

TFY

[Anela]

I think she is getting comfortable and settling in! We have been dating for six months. I have posted on here about how she stopped wearing make-up as much and jewelry (I know I got the riot act for the makeup statement). Anyways, now she is starting with the weight gain. When I met her, she worked out (gym, treadmill, work out videos) religiously every day. Now, she has given that up almost completely. She goes on walks with me and her dog and sometimes my kids. And to answer the question before its asked…yes I do exercise at least five times a week.

 

I read an article today that stated 90% of women gain weight (up to 15 lbs) in the 4-6 month period of a new relationship. This is not fair when the majority of the popularity bases a lot of their choosing their mates (at first glance) based on their attractiveness levels. I’m just sayin’

 

I realize I am going to get the riot act again from the ladies on here, I would like to hear your honest opinions on this though. As far as the guys, has this happened to you and when it did ...how did you handle it?

 

I know more than one woman who put on some weight when they were happily partnered - because they were so happy. the men didn't mind at all

(one just asked his girlfriend to marry him).

[Anela]

Since I'm dead inside, I have no issue telling her in a half-joking but completely serious way, "don't get fat."

 

But as long as you continue to live a healthy lifestyle, you should promote her to do the same.

 

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

 

Now on a more general note...if your significant other lost her job and decided she didn't want to look for another one, should you still love her "just the way she is"...? Why is physical health and appearance treated so differently...?

 

People have also dieted and exercised themselves into an early grave - taken supplements that lead to a heart attack, etc. Who am I to decide whether or not someone is "allowed" to do something?

 

Drugs would be one thing, hookers another, but if someone smacked an ice cream out of my hand, telling me I couldn't enjoy it, because I had a little too much tummy? Ooh... There is a thread all about porn here - a very long one - with people defending the use of that, even when it makes their partner unhappy.

Why is so important to so many, that everyone be skinny?? If I told you what you should be doing in order to make *me* happier, just because we share oxygen, you'd laugh in my face, or just ignore me.

[Anela]

Oh, you know I love the hell out of you, but people know when they're gaining weight. People don't do anything about it unless and until they want to, though. If they want to do something about it, great. If they don't, that's fine too, and it's fine for the other person to go off and find something that they want more.

.

 

And sometimes the weight won't come off, no matter how hard you try. I've had a stomach issue that's had me vomiting almost everything up, for over three years now - it got worse, and I may have hit on a combination of things that helps to ease it, at least on certain days, but I've put weight *on*. When I was exercising regularly, it didn't come off (the bit of weight I had before this).

[pbjbear]

It's not about being skinny...for me, I just want somebody who is reasonably decent shape. I don't like seeing hip bones but I don't like cellullite or stomach fat either. Somewhere in the middle is perfect

 

Sorry Sanatarium. Plenty of skinny fit girls at my gym that have cellulite. Thats genetic.

[crederer]

How much weight gain are we talking about here? I mean, if it's like 20lbs in a couple of months, yes I can see your concern. However, physical appearance isn't that important to me.

[TouchedByViolet]

I couldn't deal with someone who let themselves go. Physical components are obviously a part of sexual attraction and so are many other things. For example I want a girl who has a drive to improve, learn and continue to grow. I wouldn't want someone who becomes complacent or negative in these areas.

[pbjbear]

My issue with this thread is that alot of the men I know that bitch about their wives and girlfriends weight have let themselves go as well.

 

If a guy is really fit and it is a very important part of their life, I dont blame them for wanting a girl who is the same. Thats why I dont want to date a gym rat. I would never want that pressure of being expected to look impeccable all the time. Im fit but Im not obsessive and I go through phases.

 

However, the vast majority of men I know who are married and complain about their wife's weight also gained weight themselves. THIS is when I become pissed off. Nonethless, misogyny is rampant in our society still. Women receive much more crap about gaining a little bit of weight than men do, because we are valued primarily for our looks.

[xxoo]

I don't think the details of how much weight matter. You're not married, it's only been 6 months, you've already broken up once, now you are criticizing her body: break up. This isn't going anywhere good.

[fortyninethousand322]

My issue with this thread is that alot of the men I know that bitch about their wives and girlfriends weight have let themselves go as well.

 

If a guy is really fit and it is a very important part of their life, I dont blame them for wanting a girl who is the same. Thats why I dont want to date a gym rat. I would never want that pressure of being expected to look impeccable all the time. Im fit but Im not obsessive and I go through phases.

 

However, the vast majority of men I know who are married and complain about their wife's weight also gained weight themselves. THIS is when I become pissed off. Nonethless, misogyny is rampant in our society still. Women receive much more crap about gaining a little bit of weight than men do, because we are valued primarily for our looks.

 

I'm a gym rat. I'd never expect a woman I'm dating to be the same. Would I like it if she wanted to join me on a hike or a bike ride? Absolutely, because it would be fun. But I could care less if a woman dedicated her life to staying in shape.

[USMCHokie]

Hmmm, for all the gals that think it's hypocritical for a guy to complain about a woman's weight gain while foregoing his own body, let's flip it around. Would you be inspired and motivated by him improving his own body to improve your own, or would you just clap, say good job, and continue on your way?

 

If relationships are about adding to your life, then why does it seem like individuals collectively regress in a relationship...?

[xxoo]

Hmmm, for all the gals that think it's hypocritical for a guy to complain about a woman's weight gain while foregoing his own body, let's flip it around. Would you be inspired and motivated by him improving his own body to improve your own, or would you just clap, say good job, and continue on your way?

 

If relationships are about adding to your life, then why does it seem like individuals collectively regress in a relationship...?

 

There is a big assumption that gaining a moderate amt of weight (remaining in "healthy zone") is regressing. It could be finding balance, and making room for other important things in life--like the relationship!

[pbjbear]

Hmmm, for all the gals that think it's hypocritical for a guy to complain about a woman's weight gain while foregoing his own body, let's flip it around. Would you be inspired and motivated by him improving his own body to improve your own, or would you just clap, say good job, and continue on your way?

 

If relationships are about adding to your life, then why does it seem like individuals collectively regress in a relationship...?

 

 

Heck yes I would. I got fit because others inspired me to.

 

Hypocriticalness = selfishness.

 

Why do men regress in a relationship and then get pissy if a woman regresses?

 

Can I ask what you will do when your wife has your kid and she doesnt return to her prebaby body instantly?

[USMCHokie]

There is a big assumption that gaining a moderate amt of weight (remaining in "healthy zone") is regressing. It could be finding balance, and making room for other important things in life--like the relationship!

 

This is a good point. But then comes the question of whether the weight gain is related to health or attraction. Like I said before, healthy does not always equate to attractive, just as attractive does not always equate to healthy.

[xxoo]

This is a good point. But then comes the question of whether the weight gain is related to health or attraction. Like I said before, healthy does not always equate to attractive, just as attractive does not always equate to healthy.

 

And sometimes attraction itself can be unhealthy.

[GorillaTheater]

And sometimes attraction itself can be unhealthy.

 

And, ironically, the first things to pop to mind were huge medium-rare steaks and banana splits.

[thefooloftheyear]

I'm a gym rat. I'd never expect a woman I'm dating to be the same. Would I like it if she wanted to join me on a hike or a bike ride? Absolutely, because it would be fun. But I could care less if a woman dedicated her life to staying in shape.

 

 

Im with you...And I do agree...I just dont like the overly hard workout nut women with low bodyfat and stupid looking fake tits...Its just a total turnoff for me...

 

What PBJ is saying is that maybe the woman might feel intimidated by always having to have your "game on". I can see the point.

 

My ex used to be like this. She let herself go pretty bad. I know it was due to some pre menopause crap and her general depression. I tried to be undertsanding and never put any pressure on her. She would get SO upset if one of her friends commented about my body. Or she would get pissed off and ask me if I wanted their phone number..I did feel bad at times about it, but what am I going to do? It wasnt like I was going to stop going to the gym and put on 50 lbs so we can be fat and happy together. She probably would have wanted it that way I suppose..

 

TFY

[USMCHokie]

It wasnt like I was going to stop going to the gym and put on 50 lbs so we can be fat and happy together. She probably would have wanted it that way I suppose..

 

This is sad but true for a great many couples...and often a noticeable disparity with the woman in better shape serves as a security blanket...you often don't see the opposite, where there is great disparity and the man is in better shape...

[thefooloftheyear]

This is sad but true for a great many couples...and often a noticeable disparity with the woman in better shape serves as a security blanket...you often don't see the opposite, where there is great disparity and the man is in better shape...

 

That might be true up til around 35 or so...

 

After that, the men do have a huge advantage. Its just far easier for a guy to build/maintain well into 40/50's when for women its just very hard. Do-able, but very hard.

 

I will say that in the particular geographic area I live in the older mommies look smokin hot. But they have super rich hubbies and they spend tons of $$ keeping and maintaining their look. And I suspect there is a lot of cosmetic surgery going on there as well...

 

TFY

[pbjbear]

That might be true up til around 35 or so...

 

After that, the men do have a huge advantage. Its just far easier for a guy to build/maintain well into 40/50's when for women its just very hard. Do-able, but very hard.

 

I will say that in the particular geographic area I live in the older mommies look smokin hot. But they have super rich hubbies and they spend tons of $$ keeping and maintaining their look. And I suspect there is a lot of cosmetic surgery going on there as well...

 

TFY

 

You are my new favorite LS poster. Few men acknowledge this fact. Hormones make it very hard for women to keep their figure later in life. COME AT ME BRO.

[anne1707]

Curious.... I wonder if the OP will ever come back to this thread. After all, he's not been back since the opening post and here we are 190 posts later with everybody getting in a right old state

[USMCHokie]

That might be true up til around 35 or so...

 

After that, the men do have a huge advantage. Its just far easier for a guy to build/maintain well into 40/50's when for women its just very hard. Do-able, but very hard.

 

This is true. However, it demonstrates how important it is to build a lifetime of good health habits, even if it's motivated my physical vanity. If you take a woman who has taken care of herself for 40 years, she will feel no lifestyle adjustment trying to maintain her health and physique. However, if you take a woman who has never lived a very healthy lifestyle and tried to improve that lifestyle, the difficulties are almost more psychological than physiological and the feat is near impossible.

[Roadkill007]

more to love? lol

 

 

A pair of my friends are also a couple, and now they both want the other to gain weight so that they don't get so much attention from the opposite gender. They're so adorable

[Jane2011]

Only read the OP and a few replies on page one.

 

I don't think people should be downright shallow and care about a slight bit of weight gain, but I'm with the OP in that it'd bother me if someone didn't stay in shape.

 

I exercise at home or run outside more often than I go to an actual gym, but I exercise every day and watch my weight. I kinda want someone who's in shape, too, and I pretty much want them to stay in shape long-term.