summerof12 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 (edited) Hi! So Im currently struggeling a little bit, or a lot. I was in a relationship with a girl, we were both early 20s. She was the first person I every really opened up to, and I guess you can say she was my first love... But we lived far away from eachother(plane), and it would take years before we could have lived together. I was deeply in love, and so was she. But behind the love I had my head getting ripped apart by doubts. If she was the one. If she really had the qualities i was looking for in a girl. If I was ever gonna be truly and lastingly happy with her. The point is, we were so different. While she want to see the world and wouldnt have mind living in a trailer park. I want a stable and safe economy. While I am very stright when it come alcohol, she wouldnt mind driving after a drink(not saying she would drive wasted). The list goes on. I just couldn`t do it anymore. My head was filled with worries and doubts all day, every day. I mean, you can help a girl grow/improve. But you cant change who she is. Thats not fair. So I broke it off. But now Im such a mess. She was my best friend. The one who could make me laugh and smile. The idea of never seeing her again, never talking to her again, never hearing her voice again. Jesus. Terrible. So how do u cope with this? Its so painful, and something I´ve never experienced before. We cut of contact, and I guess it needs to stay that way for some time, but its hard. Edited April 29, 2013 by summerof12
316 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I just couldn`t do it anymore. My head was filled with worries and doubts all day, every day. I mean, you can help a girl grow/improve. But you cant change who she is. Thats not fair. So I broke it off. You just answered your own question here. If you stayed in the relationship you'd just become more and more unhappy. You understand that problems which pertain to serious character flaws in your significant other typically do not get better overtime; they only get worse. You made a very mature decision that will benefit both you and her in the long run don't forget that. As much as you're hurting (and will be hurting) right now you should know you made the right decision. 2
TearyEyedPride Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 So essentially doubt and anxiety overcame your feeling of love toward your gf because you couldn't accept who she was as she was? Wow. Hopefully you were as honest with her as you were with us, she at least deserved an honest explanation. If it was making you unhappy though, hopefully she'll find someone who can love her with all she's able to give. And hopefully you'll find someone who fits your needs as well. 1
Author summerof12 Posted May 1, 2013 Author Posted May 1, 2013 So essentially doubt and anxiety overcame your feeling of love toward your gf because you couldn't accept who she was as she was? Wow. Hopefully you were as honest with her as you were with us, she at least deserved an honest explanation. If it was making you unhappy though, hopefully she'll find someone who can love her with all she's able to give. And hopefully you'll find someone who fits your needs as well. Whats with the attitude? I said we were different. Thats not about being able to accept who she was, but facing reality.
TearyEyedPride Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 (edited) Sorry if it came off that way summer, but it was really shock. That's how I saw it. People's differences IMO is what distinguishes us from one another and what makes us unique, and your post quoted some vague differences between you two. In my opinion real love conquers most things... so the fact that your doubt and anxiety conquered the "deep love" you said you two had threw me off. Incompatibility is a factor that can lead to breakups, but that's when you let it. Putting myself in her shoes though, I wouldn't want to be with someone who claimed to love me but gave up so easily, so I feel that she deserves more and I'm glad you could see that. I agree to disagree with anyone who feels differently as well, and I hope you find what you're seeking too. Edited May 1, 2013 by TearyEyedPride
Hopeful714 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 Sometimes there are "lifestyles" that can't be tolerated. Especially when the significant other doesn't or won't realize that it bothers you and is unwilling to compromise and or make changes. If you feel so badly, you cared. I hope you tried everything in your power to communicate what you felt and at least gave the chance for her to rectify before doing the actual break up deed. 1
Recommended Posts