hcy226 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Recently, I've been feeling very confused about what to do about my current relationship. It's been going on for about 2 and a half years, but I think things are somewhat starting to change, and I don't know what to make of it. Let me begin by saying that we do get along quite well (most of the time). We understand each other so well, and we laugh together and are able to have mature conversations about problems we're having, life, and so on. I can honestly say I love this girl, and I care about her very much. However, for the past month of two, a confusing feeling has started lurking. I feel like I just have a shorter temper with her now, and there are small quirks and things that I no longer think are endearing. On top of that, I find myself less and less PHYSICALLY attracted to her, and while it may seem shallow, the fact that I used to be attracted to her physically, and now I'm less so, really bothers me. I don't know. Let me say again, that I really do care about and love this girl. The only problem is...I'm wondering if it's turning more into a best friend kind of love and deviating from a potential significant other kind of love. I fear breaking up to find out will simply lead to the biggest mistake of my life, but don't know any other way to truly find out. So confused and lost in my own head.
andre84 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Man I know exactly what you are feeling. (My story if you care to read it all: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/388840-sharing-my-story ) I moved across country for my ex (we started as very good friends/roommates in college) and last year when I made the move and left a big group of friends/family behind, I started resenting her and I also started being less attracted to her. We would fight about all the little things and I was the first one that almost walked away but we somehow managed to ignore a whole year of bickering. (Granted there were a lot of good times there as well) Well she just dumped me a month and a half ago... Sadly it was at a point where I started to feel things for her that I had not really felt over the last year, so for me its like I got dropped when I was feeling my best. But for her, she basically fell out of love and was only looking for reasons to not leave... but at the end she couldn't find any. Anyways, I would be sure to be careful in your situation and make sure you are not going through something like Grass is Greener (GIGS) that I read so much in the forums. In a lot of ways I'm glad my ex dumped me, because you can't force feelings where there are none... The only thing you have to be careful is that you in fact have lost those feelings and are not just getting antsy because things are not new and fresh. I feel like a lot of people are addicted to that honeymoon stage and once it passes they think that they just don't care for the other person anymore... This is why marriages take so much work. Best of luck to you!
Author hcy226 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Read your story. It sounds eerily similar. We are currently seniors in college right now, and live on the same floor of the same dorm. While it's not living together, we are still pretty much 100% within each other's space. I honestly just don't know. I have considered the Grass is Greener Syndrome, but ruled it out because I'm not considering other relationships in the process of my thinking, or yearning for other things. The only thing bothering me is how I'm feeling about my current relationship. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It gives me some more to think about as well. Best of luck to you andre. ____________________________________________________ I also forgot to mention that we'll both be living in the same city after graduation next month due to having the same job. Not really sure if that'll impact anyone's advice, but just throwing it out there
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