troubled s0ul Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 So after about 2 years of dating my girlfriend decided to end our relationship. She told me I was t moving fast enough in life for her. She also said that she had to act as a mother figure to me all the time. What I mean by this is she constantly was having to try and encourage me to quit my job and go to school full time and to quit smoking. Well I did quit smoking and I was taking one class at a time. But after about 6 months with no cigarette I relapsed one night and had a few. I was up front with her about it and she flipped out on me saying Thai I promised her I would never smoke again and that she was sick of mothering me. So after 2 years she decided to leave me. This was my first serious girlfriend and she was a quality woman who only wanted what was best for us. I realize now that I should have tried harder and that I took her for granted. So after a out 2 months of being separated I saw that she became friends with a new guy on Facebook. This was a devastating blow to me because we had split up before and I thought she would give it one last try. But when I realized she was moving on I began a rapid descent into depression. Never before have I felt this terrible feeling in my heart. I started Thinking about all the magical memories we had and all the incredibly thoughtful Things she did for me and how she was such a strong woman with her head on her shoulders. So I tried to call her so we could at least talk about what I was going thru and she wouldn't even listen to me. She cut the convo short and told me to stop contacting her and that she would call me when she was ready to talk. What the hell does that mean anyway? I know in my heart that I had it all and I truly want to spend the rest of my life with her but she just won't give me a solid answer. I am hanging in the balance between complete despair and optimism. I just am losing people to turn to and I want a fresh perspective on this situation. And one last thing, when we broke up before she always told me that a grand gesture such as showing up to her house with flowers to declare my love for her would win her back. So I got all dressed up and bought a beautiful bouquet of purple orchids( her favorite color) along with a purple plush teddy bear and a two page note explaining my feeling for her. But when I k kicked on her door she refused to answer. So I thought maybe she wasn't home so I decided to come back later I stead of leaving all this stuff on her front porch. Well it turns out she was watching me thru the peephole inner front door and just didn't answer. She sent me a text telling me she appreciated the flowes but to stop calling, texting, emailing and sending her gifts and she will call me when she is ready to talk. What the heck does that really mean? I truly feel that I must wi. Her back before someone else steals the only women that I have ever loved from me. What should I do?
aisuru Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Love isn't about winning or losing. You have to let her go my friend. Give her space. Work on yourself. Be the kind of person you want to be with.
justletgo07 Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 She sent me a text telling me she appreciated the flowes but to stop calling, texting, emailing and sending her gifts and she will call me when she is ready to talk. What the heck does that really mean? I hate to sound harsh, because I know you have good intentions, but I think it's pretty clear what all of that really means. She has asked you repeatedly to leave her alone, and that is exactly what you should do. She might have appreciated you bringing her flowers when you were still in a relationship, but you're not anymore, so all of the rules have changed. Honestly, based on how you've handled things so far, the best thing you can do is back way way off. I know you're panicking and trying everything to figure out how to "win her back," and that's normal. However, what you're doing will only hurt your chances at getting back together down the road. Getting dumped really sucks, and many of us are in the same boat now and have done the same things you have done. Try to relax, calm down, and focus on yourself. I know its hard to hear, but there really isn't anything you can do right now to get her back. That is 100% totally within her control, and just because someone loved you once doesn't mean that they will or have to keep doing so. I know you think that if you just show her, tell her, prove to her, etc. etc. etc. then she'll see the error of her ways and want you back. We have all been there and wished that. Give her a chance to miss you. Good luck buddy. 1
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