Things becoming clearer......

[Coping Vortex]

It's been 5 months since the BU. Weeks since the last contact. Its really over now. Dead and buried. I'm still sad but i feel a weird feeling like dating her was all a dream. Like it never really happened. So strange. Part of this feeling is a feeling if clarity as to what may have been really going on.

 

She told me she met her new BF two weeks after she BU with me. But little things have become clearer to me now. Like the day she BU with me we had gone to the mall earlier that day and we were walking around. We were holding hands like kids and she pulled her hand from mine. Then something odd happened at the time, she texted someone. But she pulled away from me and turned around as to hide herself form me as to who she was texting. At the time I figured it was one of her kids or a GF, and that she was embarrassed to text someone while being with me. But now its become clear to me that she had to be texting the new guy already, not two weeks after the BU as she claimed later.

 

My friend surmised that she may been talking to this guy for awhile, which would make sense as to why she BU with me out of the blue and then didn't feel the need to try to reconcile after. His theory is that maybe he was a confidant and may have prodded her to leave me so he could date her. We had been together for years. I thought it was odd she didn't want to work thing out at the time.

 

As I am thinking more clearly now, I have begun the process of getting her off that pedestal. Seeing the little clues now and piecing things together is definitely helping seeing a picture I was totally confused of at the time.

 

There were other clues too. She admitted later that she already knew the guy before she said she met him. That he was from her home town and graduated her high school a few years before she did. Also, that her GF had a crush on him. That would make sense for her to me attracted to the guy as there was a rivalry there with her GF.

 

No matter, its become clearer to what may have been really going on.

 

Funny all through the first few months of the BU she was contacting me behind his back and hooked up with me twice. So why would I think she wouldn't have done that to me at the time as well?