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[markjames77]

Hi guys, new here and have read alot of posts similar to mine and feel sharing this might help in some way to move forward.. It's a long drawn out saga but i will try with the condensed version..Any thoughts or advice is welcome..

 

Well firstly i must come clean and tell you the love of my life started as an affair. I was disconnected from my then wife and found comfort in the arms of another woman. Weak i know but that started a 2 year affair that brought out emotions and feelings in me that had laid dorment for a very long time. Three months ago the affair ended (her call) and my life started spinning out of control. I totally underestimated my feelings for her and within 2 weeks of her leaving i had come clean to my wife about the whole thing, within 4 weeks she had moved out of the house with my son..All i could think about was getting my girlfriend back..It consumed my life and i didn't care what i lost in the process..

 

Throughout the first two months of the break up i received a lot of mixed messgages from her. She completely shut off from me emotionally yet we still couldn't go more than three days without one of us pulling the trigger and making contact (mostly me)..After two months i decided i needed to get away and clear my head, i made it clear to her i was going overseas and leaving my phone at home and not coming back until i could live my life without contacting her..It was the best thing i could have done, spent two weeks away, slept with a couple of different girls and believed i found perspective in the fact the relationship was over..Had no contact with her over those two weeks and believed i could come back home and was ready to continue no contact..

 

The day i arrived home she called me that night (before i left she asked me to get out of her life and let her move on), she wanted to talk so i invited her over. She told me she missed me and of course we slept together.. Whilst in bed she told me their had been no one else and she just needed time to work on herself and apologised for being so selfish. Stupid me thought there had been a shift and the two weeks space had done the job.. For the next week she ignored every text and phone call i made finally replying a week later saying it was a mistake to be together and it was best that we both moved on separately. I was shocked, later that night i rang her seeking answers and she agreed to meet for a drink..She then proceeded to tell me she had started seeing somebody else 3 weeks prior and wanted to pursue it further..Something then clicked in me and i wished her all the best and accepted defeat..Obviously shattered but it was the final straw..

 

I then didn't initiate any contact however she continued to contact me, when we would catch up there was no physical interaction, she would play down her new relationship saying it was just casual yet not denying it. and continually tell me she missed our bond and connection. I then drew a line in the sand telling her i couldn't watch her fall in love with another man and needed to have no contact..She still found reasons to contact me..Then a week ago she rang to say she wanted to catch up, i invited her over, she told me the other relationship was over and for the next four days we spent every night together. She told me she loved me, wanted to be with me, wanted to work slowly towards a relationship and we talked about the blockages for her as to why she sees that as being hard..We were back on track!!! or so i thought..The day after having this discussion she started to withdraw again, i started to get concerned, last night not four days after talking about what we needed to do to have a future she has told me she is not ready, has too many issues that i can't handle and wants no contact.

 

To say i'm confused is an understatement..What do i do?? I love this girl and want a future but enough is enough. I just don't seem to be strong enough to go no contact..She always draws me back in and i think she has finally come around.