How can I compete against other guys?

[Pompeii]

At my age, it's going to be quite obvious that lots of people are gaining experience with sex, love, and relationships. Everyday, people are learning new things in these areas. At the point I'm at right now, it is expected that everyone is gaining experience and "experimenting" with new things. Unfortunately, my progress is at a standstill. If I ever did manage to get with some girl, it is inevitable that she would have lots more experience than I ever could imagine.

 

A woman's number doesn't really matter that much to me unless its abnormally high. It is pretty much expected that women will have high number counts now a days. What I really need to watch out for is what I call "impact probability". The higher a woman's number, the better chance that she met someone that impacted her emotionally or sexually. Two girls I know confirmed this to be true. One girl said that her past boyfriend would touch her in such a way that "ruined" her for other guys. She's been with several guys since and no one has had a touch as "electrifying" as his. This other girl I know told me about how she had sex with one of my friends. She said he gave her best oral she ever had and made her overall feel like "very, very naughty girl".

 

If you have all of these guys giving these girls these amazing emotional and sexual experiences, how are you supposed to be able to follow up with that? Once these girls experience these things, they are on the point to no return. There's no turning back. You expect someone such as me, a virgin to be able to provide these experiences? It's like asking a 4 year old child to use a high-powered sniper rifle to assassinate a government official. It's ludicrous.

 

How can men like me who are being left behind as the days pass by compete against these other guys? It's like trying to flap your arms expecting to go to space.

[outsidethebox]

There are women who haven't had many bf's. Given your lack of success, they should be right up your alley. Bottom line, don't worry about women with a lot of success with men because you're unlikely to be dating them.

 

Find someone who is shy and quiet and just like you with experience.

[todreaminblue]

At my age, it's going to be quite obvious that lots of people are gaining experience with sex, love, and relationships. Everyday, people are learning new things in these areas. At the point I'm at right now, it is expected that everyone is gaining experience and "experimenting" with new things. Unfortunately, my progress is at a standstill. If I ever did manage to get with some girl, it is inevitable that she would have lots more experience than I ever could imagine.

 

A woman's number doesn't really matter that much to me unless its abnormally high. It is pretty much expected that women will have high number counts now a days. What I really need to watch out for is what I call "impact probability". The higher a woman's number, the better chance that she met someone that impacted her emotionally or sexually. Two girls I know confirmed this to be true. One girl said that her past boyfriend would touch her in such a way that "ruined" her for other guys. She's been with several guys since and no one has had a touch as "electrifying" as his. This other girl I know told me about how she had sex with one of my friends. She said he gave her best oral she ever had and made her overall feel like "very, very naughty girl".

 

If you have all of these guys giving these girls these amazing emotional and sexual experiences, how are you supposed to be able to follow up with that? Once these girls experience these things, they are on the point to no return. There's no turning back. You expect someone such as me, a virgin to be able to provide these experiences? It's like asking a 4 year old child to use a high-powered sniper rifle to assassinate a government official. It's ludicrous.

 

How can men like me who are being left behind as the days pass by compete against these other guys? It's like trying to flap your arms expecting to go to space.

 

 

the fact is if a guy has touched her in a way no other guy has, it is because she has probably told that guy how to touch her that she enjoys........emotional attachment is different.when a girl has split up with a boyfriend or lover that she was highly emotionally attached to it takes time to deal with that attachment........so she needs to be over that attachment before making another one...says me......long story....good luck

[Noproblem]

Oh are you serious!

Seriously! You shouldn't have this low self esteem of your sex capabilities.

 

I mean a man only leaves that impact on a women either by emotion or sex

 

You can try to be what you can on both sides and hopefully one girl will remember you after you are gone...

 

 

 

Wait a minute, why would you care is she does remember you or not and considers you a nice sex story?

 

Because the truth you and her are not together anymore so it doesn't matter!

 

What does matter is that you and girl could stay together for a long time and yeah it doesn't involve being great at sex because obviously awesome in that area, still they can't maintain a single one long relationship!

[PogoStick]

One girl said that her past boyfriend would touch her in such a way that "ruined" her for other guys. She's been with several guys since and no one has had a touch as "electrifying" as his...he gave her best oral she ever had and made her overall feel like "very, very naughty girl"

 

This is the experience most women have with me. How can you compete with that? Well you can't. Sorry grasshopper.

Edited April 29, 2013 by PogoStick

[gaius]

Wanna know a secret? Women sleep with guys all the time who aren't the best they've ever had. And go back for more! In fact I bet the vast majority of the taken women on here are with a guy like that right now. Just because you're inexperienced that doesn't mean you can't improve your sexual skills, or that she won't value you for what you are. Eventually maybe she wouldn't even trade you in for one of those guys she's talking about now. But if your penis isn't forcing you to try, then you're right. Probably should just give up.

[PogoStick]

Gaius, stop with your ridiculous lies. We all know women only think with their vag.

[Noproblem]

Gaius, stop with your ridiculous lies. We all know women only think with their vag.

 

You are not a woman to speak for all of us, are you?

[Taramere]

Two girls I know confirmed this to be true. One girl said that her past boyfriend would touch her in such a way that "ruined" her for other guys.

 

If you hear something like that from a woman again, I think you should give her an empathic stare and say "a guy you're no longer with has ruined you for other guys? That's so sad."

 

She's been with several guys since and no one has had a touch as "electrifying" as his. This other girl I know told me about how she had sex with one of my friends. She said he gave her best oral she ever had and made her overall feel like "very, very naughty girl".

 

See, this is the problem that faces people who are a bit too self absorbed (no offence). Everything becomes about them - including the bad stuff. So when you meet a woman who has been "ruined" by an ex boyfriend for other men, you see that as your tragedy when the reality is that if it's true, then it's her tragedy.

 

If you have all of these guys giving these girls these amazing emotional and sexual experiences, how are you supposed to be able to follow up with that? Once these girls experience these things, they are on the point to no return. There's no turning back. You expect someone such as me, a virgin to be able to provide these experiences? It's like asking a 4 year old child to use a high-powered sniper rifle to assassinate a government official. It's ludicrous.

 

I'm a little bemused by these women who regale you with their anecdotes of spell-binding sexual encounters. Incompetent or disastrous sex has always tended to provide material for hilarious and entertaining anecdotes...but these "oh my God I've never been touched like that before, it was electrifying" stories tend to make listeners exchange uncomfortable glances and feel like unwilling and slightly creeped out voyeurs.

 

Don't be afraid to share that with a woman next time she's raving on about an ex lover (who presumably dumped her or treated her badly, otherwise why isn't she still making the two backed beast regularly with him?). Meantime, so long as you're enthusiastic and responsive I shouldn't think a woman who genuinely likes you is going to mind too much if you need a bit of help regarding what goes where, and how.

[Emilia]

A woman's number doesn't really matter that much to me unless its abnormally high. It is pretty much expected that women will have high number counts now a days. What I really need to watch out for is what I call "impact probability". The higher a woman's number, the better chance that she met someone that impacted her emotionally or sexually. Two girls I know confirmed this to be true. One girl said that her past boyfriend would touch her in such a way that "ruined" her for other guys. She's been with several guys since and no one has had a touch as "electrifying" as his. This other girl I know told me about how she had sex with one of my friends. She said he gave her best oral she ever had and made her overall feel like "very, very naughty girl".

 

If you have all of these guys giving these girls these amazing emotional and sexual experiences, how are you supposed to be able to follow up with that? Once these girls experience these things, they are on the point to no return. There's no turning back. You expect someone such as me, a virgin to be able to provide these experiences? It's like asking a 4 year old child to use a high-powered sniper rifle to assassinate a government official. It's ludicrous.

 

How can men like me who are being left behind as the days pass by compete against these other guys? It's like trying to flap your arms expecting to go to space.

 

Sex is not a collection of techniques and poses. It's about connection between two people. One of my best lovers was someone with way less experience than mine (he was much younger) because our chemistry was so strong, even after not seeing each other for months and dating other people in the meantime.

 

The brain is the biggest sexual organ, people can be hugely experienced and still not understand this basic concept.

[PogoStick]

You are not a woman to speak for all of us, are you?

 

I'm wondering if fun is allowed here?

[todreaminblue]

Gaius, stop with your ridiculous lies. We all know women only think with their vag.

 

 

ummm no...deb

[StanMusial]

If you hear something like that from a woman again, I think you should give her an empathic stare and say "a guy you're no longer with has ruined you for other guys? That's so sad."

 

 

 

See, this is the problem that faces people who are a bit too self absorbed (no offence). Everything becomes about them - including the bad stuff. So when you meet a woman who has been "ruined" by an ex boyfriend for other men, you see that as your tragedy when the reality is that if it's true, then it's her tragedy.

 

 

 

I'm a little bemused by these women who regale you with their anecdotes of spell-binding sexual encounters. Incompetent or disastrous sex has always tended to provide material for hilarious and entertaining anecdotes...but these "oh my God I've never been touched like that before, it was electrifying" stories tend to make listeners exchange uncomfortable glances and feel like unwilling and slightly creeped out voyeurs.

 

Don't be afraid to share that with a woman next time she's raving on about an ex lover (who presumably dumped her or treated her badly, otherwise why isn't she still making the two backed beast regularly with him?). Meantime, so long as you're enthusiastic and responsive I shouldn't think a woman who genuinely likes you is going to mind too much if you need a bit of help regarding what goes where, and how.

 

If a girl started in with some mess like that I would say, "Look I don't won't to hear that sh*t". Seriously. I have said this. If you sit there like a little bitch while she fills your skull with this nonsense then you get what you deserve.

[SensitiveTJ]

If a girl started in with some mess like that I would say, "Look I don't won't to hear that sh*t". Seriously. I have said this. If you sit there like a little bitch while she fills your skull with this nonsense then you get what you deserve.

 

I have to agree quite strongly. Exactly who are these women that tell you the intimate details if their previous sexual trysts? I seriously doubt they see you as attractive. Either that or they are socially inept. Either way, why,do you put up with this?

[fortyninethousand322]

I feel the same way, OP. Not that I'm worried that a woman would expect the best sex of all time, but rather the fact that I've never had sex at all and have no idea what to do (including kissing I might add) would make her run for the hills. Women don't want a one pump chump, nor the clueless weirdo. So, it's something that worries me...

[shayla]

If you build up alot of good will with a woman, by making love to her mind long before any clothes come off....and by asking her (when the act does occur) exactly what she wants, how she wants it and when she wants it and doing it, she will forget everyone she has ever been with and will be into no one except for you.

 

(forgive the run on sentence, it's early LOL)

[Taramere]

If a girl started in with some mess like that I would say, "Look I don't won't to hear that sh*t". Seriously. I have said this. If you sit there like a little bitch while she fills your skull with this nonsense then you get what you deserve.

 

Well, as a female I think I'd use my less confrontational approach with a guy who was doing the "this amazing woman who ruined me for other women" approach. Getting angry and saying "I don't need to hear this sh*t" is a statement of "this has become my problem." To me, somebody who is so hung up on an ex that they don't think anybody else could ever be good enough is the one with the problem but I suppose it depends on how much you've invested emotionally into the person.

 

If it were somebody I were dating/in a relationship with I'd give an angrier response...but with an opposite sex friend/acquaintance then it's a bit different. Even if I were interested in them, I still wouldn't feel it was appropriate to give an angry response as opposed to giving them a gentle "you're going to put prospectives off with that still-loved-up-on-your-ex attitude" nudge.

 

Just because you happen to be interested in somebody, that doesn't make it okay to express jealous, annoyed feelings in the way that you might if you were in a relationship with them. It's really off-putting to see that aggression early on, when you don't even have any kind of romantic involvement with the person, and I don't think it would serve the OP's interests in any way to react in an aggressive way when female acquaintances are bigging up their ex boyfriends. It's just going to let them know he's interested, in a way that will almost guarantee that interest not being returned.

 

In my experience men will very readily talk to women about other women they fancy. In some cases just because they're loved up and can gush to their female friends in a way that their male friends would laugh at them for - but I think some of them do it in an effort to incite jealousy. Those often seem to be the ones who will get visibly annoyed when their female friends start talking about other men.

 

I think if the OP is constantly finding that women are raving about other men to him, as seems to be the case from his complaint, then he might need to think about whether he tends to rave on to those female friends/aquaintances about other women...because if he does have that tendency, then they probably think (quite fairly) that it's okay for them to rave on to him about other men.

Edited April 29, 2013 by Taramere

[Pompeii]

Alright, it's time for some clarification on several things...

 

1. These girls aren't acquaintances, they are friends. I have known one since high school and the other I met very early on freshman year.

 

2. I have no sexual interest in these girls. I just simply don't see them that way.

 

3. I was in conversation with these girls and the topic came up. I asked the one I knew from high school "Didn't you hook up with John" and that's how the conversation started. The other girl I directly asked if there's been any guy who has exceeded her expectations for what she looks for in a partner.

 

So no. I didn't just sit there like a dumb****, I was listening to what they had to say. So if you think I sat there like a "little bitch" or whatever other stupid ****, then you can just go **** off because you clearly have no stake in this discussion other than planting your holier-than-thou flag. What a big, bad man you are by being an overt belligerent prick.

 

Now that's out of the way, let's continue.

[Pompeii]

See, this is the problem that faces people who are a bit too self absorbed (no offence).

 

Are you calling me a narcissist?

 

 

I'm a little bemused by these women who regale you with their anecdotes of spell-binding sexual encounters. Incompetent or disastrous sex has always tended to provide material for hilarious and entertaining anecdotes...but these "oh my God I've never been touched like that before, it was electrifying" stories tend to make listeners exchange uncomfortable glances and feel like unwilling and slightly creeped out voyeurs.

 

If I wasn't friends with them, then these anecdotes would seem odd. I know them well enough for this to not be taken out of context and because it was a response to a question or discussion.

 

 

The other reason I grouped physical and emotional stimulation together is because I find that the guys who can stir a woman's emotions like beef stew are often the ones that provide them with these so called "spellbinding sexual experiences".

Edited April 29, 2013 by Pompeii

[Shepp]

You compete to get a girl into bed - once you do, it dosent matter what your like she obviously already likes you. And then you just practice with her - and practicing is fun She'll tell you what she likes and you'll get better!

 

Anyway girls all like different things in bed anyway so however many you sleep with you'll still have to work out your rhythm with any new girl you get into bed.

[Taramere]

Are you calling me a narcissist?

 

I don't know you. If a man I wasn't interested in (and you've said you're not interested romantically in these women) told me "my last lover set me on fire and has ruined me for all other women" I honestly think that my first thought would be "poor him."

 

If my first thought was along the lines of "that makes me feel not good enough" then I'd be challenging myself for having a bit of a self absorbed reaction to something that was essentially somebody else's problem. ie that their last sexual relationship wasn't going to be equalled - which is, ultimately, quite a depressing outlook for them.

 

 

The other reason I grouped physical and emotional stimulation together is because I find that the guys who can stir a woman's emotions like beef stew are often the ones that provide them with these so called "spellbinding sexual experiences".

 

The same man can stir one woman up into all sorts of emotions, and leave the next one cold. Often it's really down to luck and circumstances. The place a woman is in emotionally, when she meets a guy - rather than anything he personally is "stirring up".

 

Mr PUA might tell you all about how he got laid because he negged in just the right way, and touched the woman at just the right time, got her to the right emotional place etc etc. For all you know, he tried those exact methods on 20 women who told him where to go - and then finally hit on a girl who was at just the right stage of intoxication, and was in just the right emotional place for having a one night stand. Girls who go in for a lot of one night stands are often a bit all over the place emotionally. In the loos crying buckets over Henry one week, Martin the next.

 

No doubt Henry, Martin et al think they're PUA supremos as a result, but you just need to spend a bit of time in the ladies' toilets of a nightclub to come to the realisation that it's less a case of these winners having a talent for stirring up female emotion, more a case of them homing in on the immature, emotionally unstable and downright unbalanced.

 

And I'd question the emotional stability and maturity of any woman who regales a virgin male friend with anecdotes about the only man who'll ever set her on fire sexually.

Edited April 29, 2013 by Taramere

[KathyM]

Women are more interested in the man as a whole. Who he is, how he treats her, what he has going for him. Sexual ability is only one thing, and far from the most important thing to women. And if it's any consolation, most men are only average lovers. Some not even that. It's actually a very small percentage of men who are amazing lovers. Women choose men who have the most going for them. Sex is only one thing, and far from the most important thing. And number of partners has nothing to do with how good a person performs sexually. My sister's first husband had many partners, as well as a few affairs. Still a lousy lover. One of my sister's boyfriends after her divorce was an amazing lover, but a total douchebag whom she dumped and would never consider taking back. Her current husband only had one partner prior to her (his first wife). Not the best lover she's ever had technique-wise, but a wonderful man whom she loves very much. And she is perfectly happy with their sex life. He may not be the best lover skill-wise that she's ever had, but he is certainly the best man she's ever had, and her love for him is what makes their sexual relationship the best for her. In other words, who you are making love to is far more important that how you are doing it, because feelings and emotions has a lot to do with how enjoyable the experience is. The physical is only one element of it.

[KathyM]

Yeah right. fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me.

What does this mean? You don't believe women care about anything other than sex? Puleeze. You don't think emotions and love have anything to do with how much a woman enjoys making love to a man? Are you really this naïve?

[El Brujo]

It definitely helps attract women if a guy has his s. together and the other guys around him don't. In that case, women who otherwise wouldn't do the pursuing, are more likely to say "the hell with my programming, I'm going to approach Mr. Organized".

 

BTW guys who do have their s. together are more likely to be interested in something more permanent than your typical one-time quickie. As a woman, you'll need to have something more than that to offer him.