dreamsgone Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 So long story short I fell in love with this man online, yes im aware it sounds freaking stupid but it happened regardless. He feel for me too so after years of talking and planning, lots and lots of skyping I finally figured a way to be with him in England as I am in the US. Signed up for school there, got the loans all settled and now about a month due for me to arrive he says he isn't in love with me anymore He promised me the moon, we were gonna buy a house, get married have kids the whole damn thing and everything was going as planned till this epifiayn. Well it's too late for me I have signed my paperwork and have no choice but to go to england now or destroy my student loans He wants desparatly to stay friends and just wont stop texting me. Im just so broken at this point cause Ive lost my family now, he is the only person I know in the whole country. I don't know if he is just panicking or if he just played me for a fool and now wants to keep me around as fwb while he plays the field and not commit. I put all my trust in him and now I don't know what to do! I'll never be his friend or backup plan just don't know what he wants from me. Oh btw he broke up with me the day before my birthday to boot and sent me this vid. Dont know if its regret of guilt in his eyes maybe somebody can look at it and tell me. Tell me if im a fool to still believe he is just scared mind****!! - YouTube
Yamaha Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 wants to keep me around as fwb while he plays the field and not commit. Don't be his friend. Friends don't promise and leave you hanging. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. 1
Author dreamsgone Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 you are right i guess, just hurts so bad nc is the way to go at this point i know but he will be the only person I know in the whole country, hell the whole continent.
2sunny Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Are you sure he's not married? Have you done a background check on him? Have you met him/ his family/ friends? Either way - go have fun at school! You'll have a great experience without him! 1
Author dreamsgone Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 no he's divorced, talked to his mom, kids, brother etc as he has mine. Just out of nowhere he bails right before im due to be there. Think he panicked it became real, I don't know he says he just doesnt love me like he used to. Im starting to think Im too damn cute for him anyway lol well thats what i keep telling myself lol
lavenderlove Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Look what just happened to you is terrible. I did move to a foreign country to be with my sweetheart too. We have lived here for years together. But now we broke up, and I found myself in a city with no friends and family. (all my friends are from a bigger town we moved from). So, I had to move out out of his place and get a job and in just two months I found a very agreeable part time job to support myself and was lucky enough to move into shared house heaven, it is the best place, I have good company, their cooking skills are well beyond average, and our houserules are like I wrote them. Now I have a bit of a social life and found some really nice friends outside my home environment too. So think about it in a positive light...you have the opportunity to experience something new, meet new people and do something you otherwise wouldn't have. Who knows? This might be a very good thing for you! Enjoy it and do not talk to this guy ever again! 1
Author dreamsgone Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 You know I never thought of it that way but yeah I never would of had the nerve to do this move without his apparent lies. Maybe I'll be a better person having seen the world a little more. I'll try to stay positive but its hard cause he keeps messaging me begging me to talk to him and it kills me cause all i want is him back right now. Feel like a pathetic rag doll lol Thank you everybody for talking to me its helped more than you know
2sunny Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Have a voice - speak up! Tell him to stop bothering you since he doesn't love you. Or block him - so you can heal and move forward! 2
aisuru Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 What a sucky situation with the guy. But how exciting to live in another country! I'm a little jealous. Think of it as an adventure. Sometimes, things really do happen for a reason. Ya know? 1
Author dreamsgone Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I have told him to leave me alone but he always finds a way to get it too many, different emails or fb accts i cant keep up with it, he broke up with me now he is stalking me for what reason i have no idea keep me on that emotional leash i suppose so he can be "friends" when i get there and have sex i imagine. thats not gonna happen but i think he does. all i want is his love in return but i seem to be a pawn in his sick game at this point and its really messing me up in the head
Seachelle1 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Ew. This guy is a jerk. I couldn't even get through 30 seconds of him talking. Ew. Please don't go back to him! You should show up and then ignore the hell out of him. Go to the UK! It'll be so good for you! You can do your school and have tons of fun. I lived in Edinburgh and London as an aupair when I was 21. I wouldn't take that time back for anything. You can go to Ireland and France and to pay for it you could work on the weekends. You'll have the time of your life. I am sorry this happened to you. Don't give him anymore of yourself. You're way too good for him. 1
OwlSoul Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 (edited) I changed my whole life for him When you adjust your life for someone else, you lose all your charm and etc. We're loved for who we are, not for what we give to others. all i want is his love in return but i seem to be a pawn in his sick game at this point and its really messing me up in the head Be passionate, but do not desire. Desire is what makes you feel bad, it is what makes you think you do want only this person and etc. Get rid of it, and all will be fine, trust me. Rosas, honestly, you sound pretty much retarded. Edited April 29, 2013 by OwlSoul
thefooloftheyear Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 dreamsgone... Sorry this happened to you, but better that it did now then later when you became physically connected. I am going to go against the others and say DONT go there(UK). You admitted you have nobody there so that will make it tough. And part of me thinks that you are feeling that if you do go there that maybe he will change his mind and you are setting yourself up for a big letdown. Cut your losses. I would imagine something can be done about the loans in the case of a hardship. Dont put yourself in any more pain.... TFY
OwlSoul Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 The fool is right, btw. A friend of mine (20's) was e-dating a girl (18) for a long period of time. They were from different cities. Then he applied for a uni in her city, and just before the semester started, she cheated on him with his best friend. They broke up. He was desperate and desiring her. He moved into the city, studied there for about 6 months. He is very attractive and social, and had a lot of friends in the city. However, he still was feeling bad and out of place. So he moved back into his city, his ex started begging him to get back with her. He refused. Currently he is very happy and is dating a really nice girl.
grace777 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I agree with thefooloftheyear. Don't go. I think you can definitely work out the loans thing if you look into it. The timing and reasons aren't right for a life upheaval such as this. Also, I don't trust the guy. He was either playing or using you for something - or he's married, has a girlfriend, etc. Something is going on and you can't know just from skyping with him (and his family/friends) what type of man he really is. Bail the plan to move. If you want to go in the future, set up a new plan that doesn't involve him at all.
Author dreamsgone Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Thank you everybody (except rosas you really shouldnt kick people when they are down, its bad karma on you) I did some soul searching last night and went out dancing with my friends. Smiled like I hadnt in a long time. I realized I want to go to the UK, its been a dream of mine for awhile and he just pushed me into it faster than I expected. Im going but its not about him its about me and Im sure I'll meet a lovely brit guy there that knows how to treat a good girl if not then I dont care for once in my damn life its gonna be about me and nobody else! You guys really helped me and im very grateful 2
Seachelle1 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Hey, I just want to add that I read the everyone else's comments and I really think everyone who disagrees with me has really good points about not going to the UK. I still agree with me, but the points made are totally realistic and thoughtful. I hope you will really consider their points, dreamsgone. I loved being in the UK. For someone who doesn't have much money (me) it's a once in a lifetime opportunity but it should be lived to the fullest, not spent fretting over this horrible boy (and he is a boy, not a man). Best of luck, dreamsgone. 1
OwlSoul Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 I really think everyone who disagrees with me Hell no, I do not disagree with you. I'm living temporary in the UK, because of university. Enjoying it so much, it has really changed me. 2
Seachelle1 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 Yeah. I still hold to my opinion. I love the UK. It's a different way of being. Quieter and less passionate. More veggie options. More books. I like it. Still prefer Central America. Tengo que revolver una dia. 1
Author dreamsgone Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 To be honest it's always been a dream of mine to see the UK he just pushed me into it faster than I was ready then bailed. I think it's the doing it alone that scares me now but Im ready for it. And fear not the only day dream I have of meeting up with him is me "accidentally" hitting him with my car lol 1
Seachelle1 Posted April 30, 2013 Posted April 30, 2013 You'll be just fine! I went to the UK to escape an ex. In a way, you are too. You must be so excited! You have to visit Scotland for one. That's where I mainly lived. It's so beautiful. Before I left there was a tall librarian with a lopsided grin who I wanted desperately to get to know better. We geeked out about Vonnegut and he watched me gush about the little guys I watched. He was hitting on me and we would have probably gone out if I hadn't left early. You'll have the same, except someone who is just for you. 1
Author dreamsgone Posted April 30, 2013 Author Posted April 30, 2013 Actually I am really excited and Scotland is big on my list! The whiskey trail is where you'll find me lol And you are right about him being a boy, he has no job and living with mommy... he in his 30's. The more I think about it the madder I get at myself. Got a hero complex, find me the ugliest, mangiest dog at the pound and I'll take em home and love them cause nobody else will lol I do have a weak spot for that Irish accent though I tell ya
lavenderlove Posted May 1, 2013 Posted May 1, 2013 When you adjust your life for someone else, you lose all your charm and etc. We're loved for who we are, not for what we give to others. WELL SAID!!! I will stick it on my wall.
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