Grey Hawk Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Basically I've been "work friends" with a girl at work for maybe 6 months, now. We use to text and stuff, but never hang out. Well she just broke up with her ex bf of 2.5-3 years 2 weeks ago. Me being a good friend I invited her to a movie to take her mind off it. Well it turned into something different and things ended up happening. The next day we talked about it how she didn't want a relationship at the time despite liking me and it was just bad timing. However that night we hung out again and more stuff happened.... Well I started to actually like her more than a friend (only a little), but I knew even if I could date her, it would be a very very rough road and I didn't want to get dragged down in her emotional spiral. So time was needed. Well after that she started acting distant in texts (huge gaps of time, 1 word answers), but happy in person to see me. So I called her out on it and basically we had the talk that this just isn't working out right now and its causing us a bunch of stress. What she told me is that she likes me, but its just bad timing right now and she is actually trying to not like me anymore because she needs to do her now. I agreed that we should probably be friends. The question is, assuming she is truthful about the above and liking me (which I'm pretty sure is), how do I keep her interested in me still as friends that maybe months down the road we could maybe have something?
outsidethebox Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I think you'll get all kinds of answers on this, but I think she is fighting a rebound romance and trying to stay smart. I also think you guys should continue what you're doing and stuff happens. But don't put a label on it. Don't call it a relationship, don't call it FWB, don't categorize it. Just hang out. Some day she'll ask you what is this and you tell her whatever you want it to be.
SLW89 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 On a positive note she's protecting you by distancing herself to make sure you aren't a rebound, which lets be honest that is what you would become. 3 years is a long time, she's prob got a lot going on in her head. Don't fool around with her anymore. Distance yourself from her, she will wonder why. It may make her more interested actually. Drop the whole thing. Remember whatever you chase in life runs away. So act nonchalant, don't text her.. Let her initiate conversation. ESP if she's doing the old one word and waiting forever to text back.. That says, your not a priority I will get to it when I can and then the lack of words says it all. Let her come to you. Good luck!
PogoStick Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Let her know that you're attracted and interested in her but that you're going to take a step back and give her space. Tell her you want to hang out when she feels ready. It's the right thing to do all around and might even make her like you more.
Author Grey Hawk Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 So should I cost through this as friends and see what happens while keeping my options open? Or is there no chance this will turn into something. What had me concerned was the "I'm trying to not like you anymore because I don't want a relationship now". Also even after our phone call last night to be friends even though we like eachother, she texted me this morning and we had a little convo until she stopped responding, so it seems like she is still confused?
MrCastle Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 So should I cost through this as friends and see what happens while keeping my options open? Unless you're in an exclusive relationship, your options should always be open
Author Grey Hawk Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 Unless you're in an exclusive relationship, your options should always be open Well is it even worth investing even a little time in her or no from what I'm saying? She seems like she would be a great girl, just not right now. But I'm not sure how to keep the attraction what it is now, in the future.
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