Rakii Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 Hello. I'm sorry for the incoming wall of text but this is has been a lot on my mind. Let me start with a few things. We have never properly had sex. Yes I know this could be perceived as a stupid one since I knew she was a virgin going in, but to be honest so was i, and in the 2.5 years we've been dating I've learned to please her in ways she never knew. And yet in all of that time she has never even once brought me to orgasm. We would have sex and I would just lose interest half way in because the things she does in bed honestly aren't appealing, or she'll be "too tight", as it hurts her when I go in. And as such many nights I have to go unsatisfied even though I've pleasured her in many ways. I knew going it the relationship she wasn't the best looking woman on the planet. I didn't care then and still don't, because I fell in love with her for her mind. but what am I to do when my girlfriend expects me just automatically be interested in sex all the time when sex is nothing but frustration for me. She never dresses up, and that's honestly a good thing, because her in make up is actually worse than her without it, since from what I can tell she doesn't know what colors are good for her. Financially she's a drain. She doesn't work, and goes to college full time. I know many college students don't work during the year, but for her this practice is actually damaging to herself, she can barely afford school as it is, and she goes hungry many nights a week due to lack of cash. Where she lives there are quite a few places within walking distance, from 5 to 20 minute walks. I even offered to give her my bicycle, which I wasn't using anyways, but she refuses stating that she doesn't want to walk in the cold during the inter, and in the warmer months she won't have enough time before the school year ends to find employment. As such, I have to pay for at least two meals a week for her, I buy her non essential supplies she needs, drive her everywhere she needs to go, heck I even once paid part of her tuition she couldn't afford. Emotionally, she's a wreck. She never has whims of her own, always wanting to do what I want because she thinks things she likes are stupid. She doesn't have any friends, nor takes the time for find some because she thinks the world is out to get her. The one time she actually made friends she purposefully stopped hanging our with them for whatever the reason. And while I can understand some of her depression in the fact that her parents have basically disowned her, I don't get how she hasn't figured out that the world isn't going to just roll over and be nice for her like she expected it too. And when it doesn't she complains and curls up into a ball and then gets mad at me for not consoling her, and trying to rationalize why she feels this way. I do understand that I'm supposed to make her feel better and happy, but when she is the reason that she is being sad, what am I to do? As well, she's horrifyingly clingy. In the earlier stage of our relationship I had to set ground rules that told her not to get angry when I said I could not spend more than 4 days a week with her. yet even now she expects that every day I'm somewhat free I have to come to see her. I enjoy my free time and I don't always want to be with her. and lately it's been worse because I'm not enjoying spending time with her either. We do the same things because we're both broke, and then she curls into a ball of sadness and I have to console her for the rest of the night. That or we just watch movies. Now during all of this time a lot has happened to me. Because of my own stupidity I had to drop out of school and I work 40 hours a week. At one point I lost my job for 4 months and she complained to high heaven about how come I didn't drive over as much or that we didn't go out on many dates anymore full well knowing that I was about to run out of cash and be kicked out on the street of my apartment. My car died, my uncle died, my mother lost her job, and my grandmother got cancer. I'm trying to make the best of things by attending online classes to finish my degree while working to buy a better place than living in my friends house, taking care of my mother, and figuring out what the heck I'm going to do with my life. and through it all she has stuck with me and my constant complaining and has given me the strength to see it through. And I love her for it. I don't want to leave her. But I cannot keep living with her like this. What little i'm getting out of this relationship I am grateful for, but it feels like I'm working twice as hard as she is for us. I'm sexually frustrated. emotionally exhausted, and financially strapped. Being with her makes me feel both comfortable and frustrated at the same time, and I'm getting pissed with myself for even hating the idea of it. I don't know what to do.
Author Rakii Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I've kinda tried. I've been constantly on the edge of breaking up with her since 3 months into the relationship, but I never really want to do it. at one point I did break up with her but eventually I got back with her. She's this weird brand of funny, kind and patient, and for the life of me I don't know why she puts up with me. I want things to work between us, and I don't really see myself even getting someone else like her again. am I just jaded by self doubt or should I actually still try?
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 So basically, you've been together for 2.5 years; she's crazy, clingy, and takes all of your money; and you've never had sex with her. The solution to this problem should already be clear to you (in fact, it should have been clear to you 2.4 years ago).
Standard-Fare Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 You really don't describe your girlfriend in a loving way. In fact there's a lot of contempt and condescenion in the way you depict her: "She never dresses up, and that's honestly a good thing, because her in make up is actually worse than her without it." "She doesn't have any friends, nor takes the time for find some because she thinks the world is out to get her." "As well, she's horrifyingly clingy." You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone you feel this way about. It doesn't matter that you wrap it up in the end by saying you love her for sticking with you through hard times. That translates to: "I'm glad I haven't been alone." 2
Noproblem Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I think you are wasting your time and her time You don't love her, it's obvious from your own words leave her, focus on your life, finish your education and try to enjoy your life. Some people need to be left alone to be better, when you will leave her, she might change and be a better person. You as well might change into a better person!
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