Sparkly24 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 I honestly don't want this guy and especially not after his behavior in the past few weeks. I am just very puzzled by the reason why he (or men in general?) behaves like that. Looking back, I am glad I didn't sleep with him. He would have gone cold anyway. Yep, snap! If this is what he is like now can you imagine how flaky he would be when it comes to actually being your boyfriend and being there for you? Some people have issues, it's not that you did anything wrong at all. Girls don't ever seem to think that guys have issues and they worry its something that they did. Trust me, guys have issues and sometimes they go to great lengths to hide it. There will be someone out there who is meant to be for you, and does not run away for no particular reason, who will sit there across the table from you on a date and love everything about you. Don't stress about the small things like this guy, who in the grand scheme of things is definitely a small thing. And don't let a few bad experiences make you scared of going back out there and meeting the right one. xxx 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I totally agree with that! If he is being flaky now, he must make an awful boyfriend! You have a point that he might have issues. I got the impression that he was not completely over his ex gf yet. Apparently, that relationship ended with lots of fighting. On the other hand, he said that he always wants to make everybody happy so he would go out of his way to do what other people ask him to do. However, that does not seem to include texting a girl whom he has been pursuing for 4 months and who might be interested in him... I completely gave up on him but like I have mentioned before: I am dying to understand what's going on in the mind of a guy that goes cold for no reason. It's not like we had a fight. 1
BluEyeL Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 He didn't want a LTR with you, just the sex. When he realized that you will give it up with/within a LTR, he decided to bail rather than try again, get finally the sex maybe, but then spend a lot of time getting rid of you. He also probably has other options for sex, so didn't want to put in the effort. Has nothing to do with you and good for you for not having sex with him, you would have suffered even more when he faded after.
jolie_baby Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 why don't you just call and ask him? what have you got to lose?
Imajerk17 Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 (edited) Umm my immediate thought is that you described all the things he did for you to show he was interested - he went to quite a lot of effort. What did you do? What clear signals did you give him that you were seriously interested in him? Especially after (what probably feels to him) sexually rejecting him. Guys won't do all the work forever without you giving signs that you return their level of interest. I usually agree with you Archgirl but I don't think I do this time. A guy who is truly interested in a girl will have no problem continuing to pursue a girl if he suspects that she is coming around. Spending the night with him (even no sex) and saying that she would be willing to give things a try certainly qualifies. At any rate, I think she was wise to put off having sex with him. It was still only their first date. Do you really believe that she should have had sex with him during his visit? That's crazy. A guy coming on so strong (as he did) and then backing off is a dime a dozen, especially if the guy is inexperienced. This guy strikes me as inexperienced. If he had more options why would he even pursue something long-distance. Nevermind the gifts before even meeting someone. Sounds to me that he likes the idea of being in a relationship versus actually being in one. Edited April 29, 2013 by Imajerk17 1
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted April 29, 2013 Author Posted April 29, 2013 I usually agree with you Archgirl but I don't think I do this time. A guy who is truly interested in a girl will have no problem continuing to pursue a girl if he suspects that she is coming around. Spending the night with him (even no sex) and saying that she would be willing to give things a try certainly qualifies. At any rate, I think she was wise to put off having sex with him. It was still only their first date. Do you really believe that she should have had sex with him during his visit? That's crazy. A guy coming on so strong (as he did) and then backing off is a dime a dozen, especially if the guy is inexperienced. This guy strikes me as inexperienced. If he had more options why would he even pursue something long-distance. Nevermind the gifts before even meeting someone. Sounds to me that he likes the idea of being in a relationship versus actually being in one. You have a point there. However, I am not entirely sure about him being inexperienced because he is in his early thirties and he told me about his long-term ex gf. It is still a possibility, though. I remember him complaining about women in his area. He told me that they are after his money and that he can't stand women that ask him about his possessions (house, car, job, etc...). He also said that he thought that I was different because I never brought up the "money" topic and that I liked him for him. I am not sure what to make of that. Sounds like he might have a low self-esteem?
Author Sweetgirl28 Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 This whole situation keeps frustrating me. He hasn't been online on either of the social networking sites where we are "friends" and I had to buy a new phone so I lost his number and he doesn't have my new number either. I feel like I have been used for sex and I didn't even give it to him. He is not even handsome, yet he seems to believe as if the world is at his feet. Sorry for the rant, I needed to vent somewhere.
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