lgwhizz Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 Hi guys, I have been going through a break up with my live in boyf of 6 years. We had kept in contact, texting, seeing each other about once a week ish and things had still been loving and intimate. He seems confused about what he wants - doesnt seem to want a relationship or to get back together but also doenst seem to want to let me go and says he cant imagine me not in his life. Anyway on a Monday we were in touch, when i asked do you love me? He replied always. Then on the wednesday i saw him go in to the cinema with another girl. He swears blind she is 'just a pal' and nothing was happening between them but this was crossing the line for me and i felt with what he had been saying/doing with me it was a kick in the teeth seeing him out with another girl - friend or no friend. So a few texts went back and forth and i basically said i had had enough, was broken and he was only to contact me if the 'fuzz' clears and its me he sees (he always said when he looked to the future it was fuzzy - weird) He text me twice the next day once to say sorry he was in a funny place and didnt know when he would be outof it and again to ask if he could come over the next day to pick something up (not something he needs btw) and i think it was just an excuse to see me, try and smooth things over (probably try and sleep with me) to ultimately make himself feel better. I didnt repsond. I have dont 10 days no contact now and he contacted me again on friday (one week after his last contact) and simply said 'sorry about that'. That was it! Sorry about what????? I wanna ask him what he is sorry about but feel its just a way to lure me in again.. I dont think in a week he has thought about stuff and the fuzz has cleared?! I dont know what to do, please help!!!!!! The no contact is killing me but i feel he just cant treat me like that any more. Thanks
cookie123 Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I think its ok to break no contact, but you just have to say the right thing.
Author lgwhizz Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 I think its ok to break no contact, but you just have to say the right thing. If i were to text, i was going to say 'sorry about what?' keep it as simple as he wrote to me. Do you think there is any point though? What would you say/do?
aisuru Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I wouldn't respond or break contact right now. Right now, your thoughts and feelings are also chaotic. Right now, he is likely just sorry that his actions are hurting you because yes, he cares. But right now, sounds like he wants to be on his own. Stay strong!!! Go for a walk, go to the gym, go to a movie. Write here. But don't respond to him. You don't deserve limbo and that's what he's doing. Show him that you respect yourself enough to walk away for now. It's hard, I know.
Author lgwhizz Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 Bottom Line: Your Ex is trying to be "Nice" by letting you down gently. All he is doing now is the slow "fade away". I appreciate your input, thank you. If he is trying to do the slow fade away then why is it him that always makes contact? He has done so mostly since we have been apart too. Just wondering....
Author lgwhizz Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 You don't deserve limbo and that's what he's doing. Show him that you respect yourself enough to walk away for now. Your right, limbo is defo what i would use to describe the last 3 months. He loves me, he doesnt feel he can give me what i want, blah, blah, but at the end of the day he left me. The way i felt when i saw him with the girl bolstered me to do NC as i felt if he wants to go to movies with another girl then fine, im outta his life 100%. He says im the "best girl in the world" left me that message with an i love you on the board in my kitchen the day he was upposed to move his stuff out. I say supposed to coz he didnt take anything - he said h was too sad. There he went messing with my emotions again. HE was too sad?? HE split up with me!! In the end my mum and i had to pack his stuff up and it was heartbreaking. I dont think he actually realises how broken i am.....
aisuru Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I dont think he actually realises how broken i am..... Good. Let him think you're doing great. Trust me, a guy doesn't want to know if you are broken. Unless he's using it for his own manipulative purposes. Not healthy. He's living his life, not disecting the breakup, but still has you as backup for when he's bored. Says just enough of the right things to keep you in limbo. It's not fair to you.
Author lgwhizz Posted April 28, 2013 Author Posted April 28, 2013 He's living his life, not disecting the breakup, but still has you as backup for when he's bored. Says just enough of the right things to keep you in limbo. It's not fair to you. Why would someone want you in limbo? I dont understand why if he doesnt want to be with me anymore he doesnt just go away? I still love him and want the hurt to stop!!
Comfortable Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 He wants you as his "fall out girl". So if things don't workout for him with someone else you are there for him. He's just stringing you along. Go no contact and don't ever talk to him again. It's his loss. You will heal and be better. Keep your head up. Keep yourself busy with hobbies and friends. It will get better.
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