Cosette Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 I met a (married) man online (message board) just over two years ago. He was honest and I knew he was married from the first day and I am single. We share everything that's going on in our lives and we help and support each other as much as we can from the distance between us. Just over a year ago someone from the message board contacted his and wife and told her her had been messing around with someone (or many) from the board....it's a long story so I won't go into it. I honestly thought he would call it off when she discovered this woman was right, although at the time she didn't know about me specifically, we know she is suspicious about me now. He didn't leave and he says he isn't going to leave. They have had problems and have gone to MC, although life got busy at the beginning of the year and I don't know that they've started going again yet. I know he has no plans to leave his family and I support that - as I know some day I will find my 'one'. For now...it works for us b/c we are a great source of support for each other and we really and truly enjoy each other's 'online' company. It's strange though - every time she's suspected a way in which we communicate she will put up roadblocks to try and end the contact. Cell phone bills, IM, you name it - but he ALWAYS finds a way around her roadblocks. She even put a keylogger on his computer and he has worked around that. She told him last year when the woman contacted him that if he did it again she would leave...no more chances...and he believes her. He doesn't want to lose her or time with their child - BUT he won't leave...and believe me I've given him many offers to end things, so he doesn't lose his 'real life'. He always says we will figure it out. He has no interest in leaving. I don't know why I'm posting - other than I needed it out of my head...
whichwayisup Posted April 28, 2013 Posted April 28, 2013 You need to ask yourself what you are getting out of this? Your life is on hold for some online guy. He is married and it's doubtful that he is gonna divorce his wife, leave his kids and be with you. You two only know each other "online". Yes, you may 'know' him on some level but you really don't know him since you've never met face to face. It's very easy for him to exaggerate/lie about stuff, create a persona that lets you fill in the gaps. Online romances are fantasy on some level and this guy has you spinning. You're living life online, putting so much energy into someone who is 1)married and 2)only online. Get out in the real world and date guys face to face instead of wasting your love and energy on someone who has no intention of leaving his family. You both are feeding each others egos and it's doing damage to you. 2
skywriter Posted April 29, 2013 Posted April 29, 2013 "I know he has no plans to leave his family and I support that - as I know some day I will find my 'one'. For now...it works for us b/c we are a great source of support for each other and we really and truly enjoy each other's 'online' company." You won't find "you one", while you are having an A, because you aren't looking, nor, are you emotionally available. That is a way to raitionalise what you are doing in your mind.
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