How to make people laugh?

[ddc579]

Ever consider an improv class? It won't teach you how to be funny, but it will teach you to be more in the moment so the funny happens more organically.

[GorillaTheater]

I don't mind all my flaws and defects, the only one thing that really bothers me about myself is my inability to make people laugh.

 

Determine what you find funny, and stick with that. Be funny first and foremost for yourself. The goal should be to make yourself laugh, and never to make someone else laugh.

[strozzap]

I often feel like I laugh less than most people. Why?

 

A friend told me I understand too much about this world to be funny. I think she believes I'm smart because of my beliefs on existentialism and meaning of life... But quite honestly being interested in the subject doesn't make me smart. If I was smart maybe I could be witty and funny and have the ability to find the funny things?

[GorillaTheater]

A friend told me I understand too much about this world to be funny.

 

I think it's more how you view that understanding than the understanding itself; you can laugh at the absurdity of the human condition, or you could get depressed over it. I'd opt for the former, were I you.

[ddc579]

You're overthinking. Just be yourself and embrace it.

[strozzap]

You're overthinking. Just be yourself and embrace it.

 

You sound just like my girlfriend..

 

I want to be myself but I don't want to be boring and humorless. I think that's what being myself is unfortunately.

[ddc579]

You sound just like my girlfriend..

 

I want to be myself but I don't want to be boring and humorless. I think that's what being myself is unfortunately.

 

You have gotten a ton of advice on general and specific ways to remedy your issue. You instead choose to continue to respond with self-defeatist statements about how "boring and humorless" you are. Maybe your focus needs to be more centered around building a positive self-image than how many "ha ha's" you get from other people. (And yes -- they can be mutually exclusive)

[strozzap]

You have gotten a ton of advice on general and specific ways to remedy your issue. You instead choose to continue to respond with self-defeatist statements about how "boring and humorless" you are. Maybe your focus needs to be more centered around building a positive self-image than how many "ha ha's" you get from other people. (And yes -- they can be mutually exclusive)

 

You're right all of this sounds like I'm putting myself down... I do that often and I don't know why...

 

But I'm open to become a better person!

 

I just don't know how to concretely apply those advices in my life.

[Blastoplast]

If you're trying to make other people laugh, you're trying too hard. Usually I only care to try to make MYSELF laugh, and if other people get my humor then props to them! Basically if you're confident with yourself and who you are, you shouldn't have any trouble getting a woman to laugh!

[ddc579]

I'm not saying this flippantly, nor to make you feel badly -- but have you considered counseling? I go for self-esteem issues myself, and it works tremendously.

 

It seems to be that your issues with confidence run much deeper than whether or not you are funny, and that is not something that is going to be solved on a message board thread. You're just finding the perceived "I'm not funny" factor as one more reason to not feel good about yourself.

 

Although the board is full of people willing to share advice and experiences, it's not going to have the same impact as someone specifically trained to deal with these types of self-esteem issues.

[Feelin Frisky]

Hmm quite frankly I didn't think saying that would upset you? Am I missing something? I'm serious.

 

I feel like I can make people mad and I don't even know how I did it and why.

 

What do you mean by "error on the side of giving other people the benefit of the doubt" ?

 

 

I wasn't the least bit "upset". Sorry if it sounded that way. I admit being wordy.

 

What I mean by "error on the side of giving other people the benefit of the doubt" is if you're not sure if routine strangers mean well or ill in something that could go either way, just pick well. Just do it all the time and never stop. A person who tends to pick ill of others will be contentious and bring enmity upon themselves. That strangles humor and joy out of the scene. My almost wife had the unfortunate knack of assuming ill every time. All the hot sex we had was not worth enduring the agony of her negativity. Who wants to fight for crissake? Screw that. If I have to choose celibacy versus hot sex at the price of mistrust and irrational misery, I choose celibacy.

[outsidethebox]

If I have to choose celibacy versus hot sex at the price of mistrust and irrational misery, I choose celibacy.

 

I hope I get some hot sex before I have to make the choice.

[outsidethebox]

It also seems like it always sounds funnier when it comes from someone else.

 

What would be a good timing?

How should my face look like?

And my voice?

My energy?

Should I smile or laugh?

 

If I say something funny but do not appear confident, will it affect the joke?

 

Is it better to look cynical and uninterested when I try to say something funny and witty or should I make a stupid face or should I smile?

 

Maybe a lot has to do with self-confidence?

 

If I am too self-conscious can it affect my ability of being funny?

 

What are the different types of humor, can they be learned?

 

Can I adapt my style to the people I'm with or should I constantly stay the same?

 

Do I need a very active life and know many things to be funny?

 

Does having no life impact our ability to make people laugh?

 

I have so many questions and feel like I can't overcome it.

 

Good questions. I disagree with opinion that you need therapy just for the record. I'm having a downer evening but will take a shot at this.

 

Good timing depends. Sometimes it has to be quick or the moment is lost. Sometimes there has to be a pause to be funny. It depends on what you're saying. But all funny lines are lines. Comedians just set themselves up for the line. Telling a joke is setting up for the line. Difficult to do, requires the attention and right mood of who you're telling it to, difficult to do under any cicumstances. There's a reason there are good comedians and unsuccessful comedians. Don't try to be a comedian.

 

So it depends doesn't help you much, I know. Let's say someone says "Depends". There's a pregnant pause and you say "I count on them". You don't want to say that more than once or people will start wondering whether you actually do but that's an example of timing and a laugh unless people suspect you actually count on them. Something unexpected is required. "On what" will never draw a laugh no matter what timing is involved.

 

What your face looks like depends on what you're saying. Saying "I count on them" with a wrinkled nose like something smells will never draw a laugh no matter how pregnant the pause. That would require a nonchalant toss off line as if you don't actually count on them. People make determinations like that when something is said. Some things are funny. Some aren't.

 

Generally facial expressions aren't involved. Funny is funny verbally. Some kind of attempt at facial expressions will throw people and timing off. Generally deadpan expression, hence the term deadpan humor. Exception is if you're imitating anything, then face is that of impression. Of course then there's impressions, which can be done briefly but hard to do like the comedians famous for impressions.

 

Voice is part of timing, depends. Deadpan voice with deadpan face. Quick retorts are with some expression. Never shrill or incompatible with what you're saying, in other words, trying to use voice to force a laugh. Cannot be forced. Voice and face shouldn't be thought about. It comes from what you're saying.

 

Humor is intelligence. There is a reason a funny person is often described as quick witted. Intelligence is not a reason to not be funny, it's just not being applied to witty remarks if not a funny person.

 

What is witty? Offbeat, unexpected slants on normal conversation. Puns are one type of wit. There's grade school puns which are often cited as puns, some random word clobbered with something currently being talked about and said, and believe it or not most people will laugh at the sheer silliness of it. Then there are actual puns which require intelligence, using a double meaning of a word or phrase to say something different than current expected context of it.

 

There are of course course renditions of humor, Dumb and Dumber stuff, with facila expressions and voices for that matter. That will also work at times if everyone in a silly mood.

 

Confidence is part of timing. A shaky line will not be funny no matter what timing, unless doing a Don Knotts impression.

 

Having no life can be a plus or minus, depends. Helps with the self-deprecating humor, but that has to be used sparingly or causes sympathy or irritation rather than the intended humor. Having a life with people you're talking to brings all that you have in common into play. Many many funny rermarks are inside jokes understood only by you and who you're talking to.

 

Last bit of advice. Humor is never funny if you think about it before you say it or explain it after you say it.

 

Always keep this excuse handy: you can't think and talk at the same time.

 

And don't laugh yourself, ever, at your own jokes unless everyone is cracking up and you can't help yourself but to laugh too.

 

Good luck.

Edited April 30, 2013 by outsidethebox

[Feelin Frisky]

I hope I get some hot sex before I have to make the choice.

That was the trap. She was a hot hot hot lay. As good as she was in bed is how bad she was out of it.

[strozzap]

Thank you all!

 

This is truly interesting.

 

I will read every single posts again, carefully, and write down the most important content.

 

I'll try to teach myself how to be make people laugh.

 

However it is true that I need to work on my self-esteem and it is also true that I tend to assume that people are not genuinely nice, I don't give them the benefits of the doubt.

 

I need to be more self-confident and learn to appreciate who I am and then maybe I'll start enjoying my life and seeing bright and humorous side of things.

 

If anybody else has more advises or would like to contribute please feel free to do so. I will carefully read and analyse your answers.

 

Thank you!

[sillyanswer]

Why are there such school then?

 

Is it because a fool and his money are soon parted?

[strozzap]

I guess I'm a fool.